Should I pay for this from my savings?

[Mumtofour1]

Posting here for traffic really. Situation is I need to have 1.5k worth of dental treatment. Those who have had dental treatment recently know it doesn't cover a lot. It's for restorative work so necessary but not impacting.my health as such.

Question is due to cost my DH suggested I should use my savings but I disagree, it should come from joint savings. We are financially stable with good savings etc so no problem here.

What do others think?

What’s not to get? Personal savings for things you would personally want. My DH likes motorbikes however if he wanted to buy a new one why would that come out the family savings, I have no interest or use for the bike so he would use personal savings, why should I contribute to that?

I earn more than my husband, and contribute more to the joint pot, including joint savings, we both have the same amount of disposable income to spend however we wish each month so we retain some financial independence. It's a generous amount, so anything I don't spend goes into a savings account for when I want something a little bit more expensive, I don't blow through it each month.
How do you buy each other presents if you only have a joint account? How do you surprise each other, with trips or tickets to the theatre?

Because I think as a married couple it shouldn’t be ‘my savings’, ‘their savings’, it should all be joint (whether officially in joint or single named accounts)

People are getting a bit off topic

There is no should in the scenario about shared finances. The only people who deserve an opinion about their own money - are the people in that particular marriage

I really couldn't be doing with a man and a marriage where that conversation even took place. You need your teeth done for goodness sake. What sort of person, who is supposed to love you, starts belly aching about 'his' shared money going towards it? Whatever happened to generosity? What a way some people live.

That wasn’t the point.

I am saying if the OPs personal savings were for luxuries and the joint saving was for a house deposit would the suggestion still be that it came out of the joint account?

For medical expenses caused by both of them? I'd say yes, anyone reasonable would say go halves out of personal, or all out if joint (same thing).

What are his teeth like?

We have single named accounts and we buy personal items from that but if I asked my DH or vice versa for some extra money we’d just share because like you always we are married everything is joint but for expensive personal items I just buy mine he buys his out of our own personal savings

I am finding this the most shocking post I've ever seen on Mumsnet. If the family are doing ok then wouldn't it come out of whatever you use if the roof leaks or the boiler breaks down? (no offence OP!)

I’ve never been in that position. Occasionally we both make purchases the other disapproves of and we have a saying “you’re not going to like it but I’m doing it anyway” we still have autonomy over our joint money. Like DH thinks somethings I do aren’t a good use of money and vice versa but we respect the other. Fortunately we’re pretty affluent so it’s ok. Recently we bought a new car that was a significant purchase. DH said he wasn’t spending £X amount on a car he didn’t like, but I did - but he wasn’t opposed in principle to buying a new car because I fancied one.

If we were down to our last penny I guess it would be a need basis. That being the case it would only be essential spending anyway.

His/her savings doesn’t really work if you’re married. All income is family income and all savings are family savings.

It wholly depends on how you deal with your finances as a couple and what joint and individual savings pay for. Would joint savings usually be used for something like this?

in our house it would be personal savings

If it’s cosmetic then you should fund it.
If it’s a health issue then it should be from joint savings.
If it’s occurred as a result of pregnancy then it should be from joint savings.

So you would be comfortable having a savings account for fun stuff and take money out of savings for a house deposit? You would prioritise fun savings?

I wouldn’t want to be married to someone who did that.

@MissScarletInTheBallroom - glad to oblige. Oh come on really, how is this an AIBU, woman with more than one set of savings needs dental work & asks the world to help her with her issue?!

This would come out of family savings for us - DH actually needs about £1,000 of dentistry done and that's where the money will come from. We don't have much in the way of personal savings though.

No. Teeth are medical.

Getting a front tooth fixed is cosmetic. It is also 100% necessary.

The OP updates confirm this.

Menopause and pregnancy can be tough on teeth. Glasses, dentist, hearing and medical. Mr Things likes expensive frames and prescription sunglasses. We decide how this will be paid for. I don't dictate.

Yr teeth so use yr savings.

We are married. We have personal and joint finances. Bills and household expenses come from the joint account. Husband has a child from previous relationship and pays child support from his own funds. I buy everything for our child - I think just because that’s how my brain works - husband gives me personally a small set sum each month towards those costs for fairness. He also gives me a slightly larger sum to put in to our savings - one each for us as adults and one each for the children. This happens at the start of the month. I say this to explain how our finances are set up.

They being said. My husband needs a similar amount of dental work. I 100% am not contributing to it. It is his body and his expense.

I have never needed any dental work, I pay for 6 monthly check ups and 4 monthly hygienist appointments. He doesn’t pay for those.

I need spectacles and choose to wear contact lenses which cost £30 a month and glasses £120+ a time. Again my expense.

If he really couldn’t afford to pay then I would help him but I do think some of his teeth problems are his own fault ie he is less vigilant about oral hygiene and dental appointments. Which I suspect gets my back up where money and teeth were involved.

Me too

Brilliant that this works for you and your family. Some women (myself included) would feel hugely vulnerable to be financially dependent on a partner. As you said, it is normally women who are disadvantaged financially if they give up a career/earning when they have a family. Great that your set up works for you

I would have to pay from my own, like DH would from his. A kick in the teeth I know! X

Wish I had £1.5K in any savings account 🤣

I think it's not for us to say. Couples have their own way of splitting costs. In our house, everything gets piled onto a joint credit card and this gets cleared every month. This would include £1.5k dental bills, a car servicing or one of us paying for a holiday with a sibling for example. That works for our personal circumstances, it might not for yours. Sit down with your husband and work it out with him, not us. It will be more fruitful.