Should I pay for this from my savings?

[Mumtofour1]

Posting here for traffic really. Situation is I need to have 1.5k worth of dental treatment. Those who have had dental treatment recently know it doesn't cover a lot. It's for restorative work so necessary but not impacting.my health as such.

Question is due to cost my DH suggested I should use my savings but I disagree, it should come from joint savings. We are financially stable with good savings etc so no problem here.

What do others think?

Slightly surprised at the replies OP. I need ‘restorative’ dental work - entirely related to having HG in multiple pregnancies over the previous 5 ish years, which has wreaked my teeth and gums. We’ve discussed the work as household healthcare expenses and are saving for it. Yes it’s my teeth but our individual savings are for things like nights out, clothing etc. not our homes or health. I’d find your dh’s position dismissive and likely (a little) upsetting.

This is so weird, why do you and your husband have separate money. This would give me the ick squabbling over who pays for what

Agree. It's even weirder when people with kids do this

Personal dental hygiene is personal, not a family matter.

This would come under medical/ healthcare expenses and would be a joint savings expense in our household.

Purely cosmetic work I would pay for myself.

I also think that if personal savings can't be replenished it depends on the reason for that too. If she cannot replenish them because she has gone part time to look after their kids, that is different to if she can't replenish them because she is paying off a loan for something personal.

I don't know how anyone could answer this, it completely depends.

You could be saving £50pm in your own savings, and £1k a month into joint, or vice versa. It might completely empty your saving, or you might have a huge pot it wouldn't make a dent in.

Personally, I cover small dental bills from my savings, but wouldn't be able to afford a huge bill like that, as my personal savings are far smaller than joint.

DH and I have joint savings and I have personal savings. I use the personal savings for cosmetic things like hair & beauty. If I had a dental procedure that was purely cosmetic I would pay for it from my own money.

For necessary treatments, joint savings would fund it. I had serious gum disease after both pregnancies and, due to lack of NHS treatment during COVID, have spent the last 4 years (and about 3k) dealing with that. All paid for jointly.

What is your reasoning why it should come from joint?

Do you work OP?

I work and earn more than my OH so any dental treatment id pay myself without question.

If I was a SAHM and didn’t work and the OH was the breadwinner id expect dental work to come out of his earnings. I don’t see why a SAHM should deplete savings she cannot easily replace in this circumstance.

I would use my own savings for this, family savings is for family stuff like the DC in future, holidays, the house

When I had dental work (implant) it came from joint savings, it wasn't even discussed. How much do you put into each savings account monthly? TBH all money is both of ours so this just wouldn't be a question. If DH thinks it should come from your account I would probably do that but cut back in what I was adding to the joint account.

My husband and I don't have his and hers pots.

Everything is family money and everything is a family expense.

We discuss expensive/hobby type things that we individually want to do such as concerts, nights out, matches etc and budget for them.

Surprised by the replies on here. Whenever someone mentions money, the replies are usually that married couples share everything and it’s weird to have separate money. We’d share the cost for something like this as it’s healthcare, you’re not choosing it. The only things we pay for from our personal savings are treats. But it does depend on how you manage your finances. How much do you save regularly into your personal savings vs joint?

I think it's important to protect yourself , you never know what might happen.

Without getting into the general debate about how couples manage their money, in our household all medical /clinical / dental work is paid for out of joint family money.

Why does your husband want you to use your savings instead of joint savings ? How does this affect him? Unless you two plan on ending any time soon or he really wants to lead a better life then you financially there is no reason for having separate savings.

I spent 1000's on dental implants last year which I paid for from my savings not our joint savings. The work certainly wasn't cosmetic, I couldn't eat properly.

All our savings are joint, albeit in single names for tax planning, and I can’t imagine a discussion where I would have to persuade my dh to help pay for dental treatment. I’ve just inherited a large sum of money and it’s our money, not just mine.

Joint if it's health. Yours if it's purely cosmetic. Unless you need cosmetic treatment because having children has damaged your teeth, then I'd class it as health.

I’d probably agree with your husband, but then I don’t understand having personal and joint savings and without knowing what each are for it’s just not possible to say

Really don’t understand separate finances between married people. Surely you’re a team or you’re not?
I once read that you shouldn’t contemplate marriage to anyone you wouldn’t go into business with, and I agree that there would be less divorces if marriage was approached more like a business deal!

If it was a broken/chipped/painful tooth, I'd take it from the main pot. If it's cosmetic only e.g. bleaching/veneers then I'd use my savings.

my DH and I would pay for this out of joint family money because…we’re married. I have also “subsidised” his cosmetic Invisalign as well. The only separare savings we have is ISAs and pensions (for obvious tax reasons) but even then our contributions are adjusted so we have more or less the same amount - eg when I was on Mat leave and not earning my dh paid into my isa for me that year from his salary.

the idea that it would even be a conversation about who would pay for medical treatment is an anathema to me as we don’t have separate day to day savings, just one pool for expenses. But I see I’m in the minority here.

Does no one just share money with their spouse anymore?