Should I pay for this from my savings?

[Mumtofour1]

Posting here for traffic really. Situation is I need to have 1.5k worth of dental treatment. Those who have had dental treatment recently know it doesn't cover a lot. It's for restorative work so necessary but not impacting.my health as such.

Question is due to cost my DH suggested I should use my savings but I disagree, it should come from joint savings. We are financially stable with good savings etc so no problem here.

What do others think?

How on earth is looking after your teeth the same as wanting a designer bag?

Dentist felt it was cosmetic. I actually got the bulk of root canal on NHS so was under £100, private quote was £500+ They’d of just filled it though. She recommended a crown but needed to pay privately for that.

No because we both have the same amount of money but sometimes want to spend it on different things. He bought a £1200 watch, I bought some nice clothes as I lost a lot of weight. We’ll both be eating beans. Why should he pay for my bothers? Why should I pay for his watch, we save up ourselves for things in our own savings, we save money for joint things together.

In that case it should come out of the joint account.

I pay for my own dental work

Suppose joint savings are house deposit.

personal savings are handbag fund.

changed attitude?

This. So much more to consider.

but if you get divorced isn’t it all pooled and split equally anyway? Both of you are entitled to half of what each other have?

Just catching up now. Yeah. Joint account.

If my DH pays for something for himself out of joint money I don’t see that I have paid. Or if I buy clothes he doesn’t see he has paid. We have paid because it’s our money.

It’s fine if that’s how you do things. We just pool it.

A medical need brought about by pregnancy isn't equivalent to a handbag. It's an expense that they are both responsible for.

I never understand having separate savings unless you're aristocracy and have inherited wealth. The courts view it all as joint money in a divorce.

Women often earn hundreds of thousands less over their working life due to bearing the main burden for childcare and/or housework. That's fine but not if you have separate finances.

We have separate spending money but it's for genuinely fun stuff, hobbies clothes, skincare etc.

I agree that as it’s important health related/ teeth rather than something fairly frivolous, then it should come from joint savings. I view our separate savings to be used mainly for fun hobby stuff.

We’ve recently had to pay over €5K for our teen son to get Invisalign straighteners for his teeth which I consider money well spent. Teeth are so important to your general confidence and well being.

If one of you needed a knee operation and were in pain, presumably you’d get it done privately if possible and pay for it from your joint savings? Why should your teeth be viewed any differently or does he expect you to be suffering daily pain before it counts?

Luckily DH and I are on the same page on this even though his income is much higher than mine. He also spends very little on his hobby compared to mine.

Do you not work hard to build a life together? If you have children your career might have to take a backseat for a while so maybe you earn less, should DH not then pay for your bothers? I don’t understand separate savings, to me that does not feel like you are on the same team. Does it not add extra strain to your relationship when you want to pay for joint things together? What if one person wants it more than the other?

Exaclty! So well said. I’m now a SAHM because we think that’s what’s best for our children. If we lived by this, it would mean in theory that my savings were way lower than DH’s and he could afford a watch but I couldn’t?! Despite sacrificing a 6 figure career to benefit the family.

Thankfully we pool everything together, and absolutely everything is shared. Unless it’s a huge purchase like a new car or big holiday, we don’t need to discuss it. I can only imagine the arguments these couples get into about accessing the joint account. It seems very misogynistic and favours the man if you start a family.

We can’t have children so that isn’t a factor. We earn the same, we both pay into a joint account and savings. If we want so strong joint we discuss it…I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t discuss it? What do you do if it’s all joint and one of you wants something more than the other?

We don’t argue about accessing our joint account. The normal joint account is for household bills and food shopping, petrol etc. the joint savings are for car Mot, replacing appliances and furniture, holidays. The money we have left each months to spend as we wish is the same. We both choose to put some away in savings. I use my savings to treat myself or for Christmas/birthday presents etc.

I’m sorry to hear that. We always pooled money even pre children. If someone wants something more they just buy it. A big purchase like a new car we discuss first and decide what we want together. But we aren’t really big spenders so it’s never been an issue.

I had dental implants a couple of years ago and paid from my savings.

DP was very supportive - researched clinics, drove me to appointments, came in with me the first couple of times when I was nervous. It wouldn't have crossed my mind to ask him to contribute financially.

It would have been different if I was a SAHM but we're both working so it seemed obvious that I should pay.

We both have the same spending money and we both decided we’d save a little bit each month for ourselves to get anything frivolous we want.

I would pay for my dental work out of my own savings.

It wouldn’t cross my mind to use the shared savings as it would be directly related to me.

I’m not in your situation as I don’t share finances but I would have thought (cosmetic work aside) that standard dental work and optician and prescription costs etc are family expenses aren’t they?

I suppose it matters if the joint account is only added to for specific things and the rest of the wages are kept to themselves.

ie non cosmetic/elective health related expenses are not a luxury spend like a watch or a fancy pair of shoes or a new phone.

it doesn’t affect me and other’s choices are up to them which I have no opinion on how others see it! but I’m surprised that so many others don’t think of it as a family expense.

If you're married then the his savings v your savings makes no sense. It's all marital assets.

What difference does it make if you’re financially stable?

Because most people would hope it doesn’t get to the point of divorce!

Thats like saying “why bother going on holiday? You’re just going to end up coming back home anyway.”

Imagine if you pooled resources and saw your other half spend a fortune down the pub or in the bookies. Or drop a few thousand on a season ticket, holiday, stag do.

Keeping money separate helps you to know what you can afford. Maybe if you had the sort of relationship where neither has friends or a social life outside of the marriage, it would make sense.