To be pissed off DP is out drinking with his friends?

[rivertine]

He lives in the same town as me and finishes work in the evenings during the week. We don't live together. My young DS is on holiday with his grandparents so it means I have more free rime to see him.

He has stayed over twice this week and is tonight too. He went out with work for someone's birthday at 5pm. I said I would pick him up.

He has now gone to meet up with his friends at a pub nearby (this was not planned).

He will be spending tomorrow evening and all of Sunday with his friends too.

Am I expecting too much? I feel like telling him to make his own way home.

Go to bed and ignore any texts!

Thank you.

He said he will be with them for a "little while and will have one or two drinks" and then need me to pick him up.

Tell him you’re going to bed so he can get a cab home

Do you want to pick him up pissed?

Is he childless?

Make some plans to see friends or do things you couldn't normally do, so that you make the most of your child free time. I don't mean just tonight but for the rest of your child free time.

I wouldn't be collecting him.

Not particularly, but I knew there would be a chance he'd be pissed after going for the work drinks.

He is childless.

I have contacted a couple of friends but none are available

Would you normally be together over the weekend, or do you expect him to drop friends because you are free? Why aren't you invited at all? Tell him the latest that you are willing to pick him up, see what he says back.

No..send him a message saying you're going to bed and he's to go home and you'll see him at some point over the weekend maybe

If you wait simmering to pick him up, it'll end up in an argument. It's not worth it

He probs doesn't understand now freeing it is for you to have some child free time. I'm not defending him but most men can't join the dots for themselves.

Why does he think you'd be happy to be his taxi?

No we don't, he usually stays two nights per week after work when I don't have DC. Then sometimes for a few hours after work. Then spends Sat and Sun with friends.

I think I was just hoping he'd want to make the most out of an opportunity to spend more time with me.

I wouldn't feel too happy about this, and I wouldn't be picking him up either. He can get a taxi. And I'd make other plans without him for a while.

Thank you.

I offered to pick him up from the drinks with work

You'd be a mug to pick him up. You are clearly not a priority for him.

Make arrangements with friends for the rest of the weekend or entertain yourself solo but don't settle for some guy who prioritises getting pissed with his friends rather than quality time with you.

Raise your bar!

Definitely don't pick him up, you aren't a free taxi service. Have a glass (or 3) of wine and go to bed. He's a grown man, he can get himself home.

He’s not your partner he’s just your boyfriend. A partner is someone who is more concerned with you than just the occasional shag. A partner structures their life around you and tries to be with you when they can.

It's nice you've got more free time as your son is on holiday and it sounds like your DP has already stayed over twice already?

Unless he's a raging party monster, I don't think bumping into friends on a night out and staying for a few more drinks is some sort of dealbreaker? Especially before 10pm! I kind of feel like I wouldn't be massively changing my weekend social plans based on a partner being childfree that weekend.

Could he just get a taxi back if you don't fancy doing a late night pick up? You've still got all of tomorrow together?

This :

Sorry u have been out with friends tonight and don't know what time I will be back .. can't pick you up as in no fit state .. let me know your plans ..

PLAY HIM AT HIS OWN GAME !!

Thank you, this is what I was thinking was probably the case. I don't want to overreact

@rivertine

If it's a pattern of prioritising drinking and friends over you, then it's definitely an issue. If it's a one off of staying out a bit later than you expected him to then I wouldn't be too bothered (personally).

Normally if my OH stays out later than expected I just let him know I'm a bit too tired to offer a lift and he can sort a taxi, then just spend my evening doing whatever. As long as it doesn't ruin the following days plans with a huge hangover!

Depends on how much of his weekend involves being in the pub/drinking.

That would be a huge put off, to be honest.

'hey no worries, you have fun! I'm off to bed. Give me a call tomorrow or whenever you surface'.

Then off to bed you go. Lock up.

Have a think tomorrow whether you're interested in a relationship where he's having a night out that you can't join, but then you're his taxi & bed for the night.

He's not a massive drinker, but does spend Saturday and Sunday with his friends. He was out drinking last Saturday.

Two weeks in a row in the pub isn't usual for him

I'm sorry OP, but this guy is only giving you the times he has nothing better. A couple of the quieter nights of the week when he gets his tea and sex, but come the good nights he's out with his mates with you playing taxi and providing a warm bed at the end of the night. He's got a very good deal here. You, not so much.

^ This!