To be pissed off DP is out drinking with his friends?

[rivertine]

He lives in the same town as me and finishes work in the evenings during the week. We don't live together. My young DS is on holiday with his grandparents so it means I have more free rime to see him.

He has stayed over twice this week and is tonight too. He went out with work for someone's birthday at 5pm. I said I would pick him up.

He has now gone to meet up with his friends at a pub nearby (this was not planned).

He will be spending tomorrow evening and all of Sunday with his friends too.

Am I expecting too much? I feel like telling him to make his own way home.

Really hope you did not pick him up = it’s one thing to do so if he’s had a couple of after work drinks but is coming home to spend quality time with you … quite another when you are a free uber to bring him home after a night out on the lash.

He’s not a DP, he’s a boyfriend. Partners are precisely that: partnered in life goals, responsibilities and shared financial commitments. He’s a bloke who comes over for sex a couple of nights a week who doesn’t prioritise you over his mates. I’d chuck this one back, frankly.

You deserve better. Best wishes OP

So he'll only give you an after work shag and never spends time with you on weekends??

That's not a proper boyfriend. Put his things on your doorstep and don't answer your phone.

He doesn't deserve you waiting around for him, his actions tell you he's not taking the relationship seriously, he rather spend most of time with his mates than you. You only see him when there isn't anything better for him to do.

This would be the point, for me ( having been in a similar situation years ago).

I' d be unhappy that (a) it didn't register with him that you have child-free time, so let's you and me make the most of it! and (b) he is treating you like a taxi service.

You don't live together, so tell him to make his own way home (to his own home) tonite.

Then have a think about what this all says about how he sees your relationship.

Seconded.

I’d have expected him to spend some weekend time with me. I’d have a talk about it maybe next week- I mean where is the relationship going if he has no interest in changing his weekends drinking with friends when there’s an opportunity to see you?

Come on then OP - did you pick him up or take the very wise & sensible advice from the MN squad on here!??
Hopefully the latter!!!

You posted another thread about this relationship recently, didn’t you, OP? You had very clear advice on that that he wasn’t invested, that you’re wasting your childfree time waiting around for him, and that you staying in this relationship purely because you want another baby soon and ‘don’t want to start all over again with someone else’ because it would create a bigger age gap than you’d like is a bit mad.

If you are the same poster, you’re both mid-20s. Your desire to have another baby really doesn’t trump your boyfriend’s desire to go out with his friends. It’s a perfectly normal thing for a mid-20s person to prioritise. You’re the one who has an agenda for the relationship, and he’s just not on the same page.

You're in totally different places right now with him op.

You've called him your partner and then described what is probably an exclusive friends with benefits situation.

He might well really like you. But he prefers the company of his friends. He isn't ready for a relationship.

If you weren't sleeping with him op, how often do you think you would go out together, on walks, as a couple to the pub to chat?

You don't live together so he still has the opportunity to live a single life. Is that going to change if/when you move in together or are you going to be sat at home while he's out drinking?

Refuse to be his baby sitter any more! You're not his taxi service!

If this is the same poster as another recent thread, she’s much more heavily invested in the relationship. She arranges her life around this guy, who lives with his parents and stays over on her two childfree nights a week, and comes for dinner sometimes, but always spends weekends primarily with his friends. They’re both mid-20s, she has a small child from a previous relationship and is desperate to have another baby soon, because she doesn’t want a big age gap, and thinks that this guy is her only option because ‘it would take too long starting over with someone else’.

He has apparently said he sees marriage and children with her in his future, but it’s pretty clear they’re on very different pages about the timeline. He’s mid-20s and has no particular reason to want to settle down when his life suits him as it is, living with his parents, weekends with his friends, sex and dinners on tap at his girlfriend’s, no responsibility.

Oh goodness nooooo @CubistViolin

If that is true, op, don't do this. It isn't fair on the child to be to knowingly select a father who clearly isn't going to be interested in them, unless you have decided and are emotionally and financially prepared for going it alone. Get a sperm doner if that's the case, don't pretend happy families.

OP, this is a user loser.
You are no more than a regular convenience for him during the quiet times.
You are 100% wasting your time.
You deserve so much better.

Yikes. I remember that other post. Disturbing.

You're not Uber! Tell him you're not giving him lifts or picking him up. He's clearly prioritising his mates as opposed to you.
I wouldn't be with someone like that.

The only thing you need to be picking up is your self respect that you seem to have dropped.
You are a midweek booty call and a weekend taxi driver.
Just go to bed and remember that people only treat you the way they think they can