Cleaner drank the juice, ate the salmon and charged her phone

[Shadow743]

I have a cleaner who has been coming for 2hrs a week for approx a year. She is unreliable, often texting the day before with a wide selection of reasons as to why she can't make it, and she doesn't always do a great job. I've been thinking about getting rid of her for a while but I have a lot of guilt around having a cleaner in the first place, as it feels like such a luxury and I feel like a bit of a snob for having one. I've come home whilst she's been there before and seen her charging her devices, noticed that the cordial seems to have been drunk and a couple of weeks ago, I'm sure (but can't be 100% certain) that she finished of the smoked salmon from the fridge. Today, my kids marked a line on the juice bottles as a little experiment and lo and behold, I've come home to find not only has she drunk the cordial, she's finished it AND put the empty bottle on the top of the bin.
Am I being unreasonable to be furious and feel like she's taking the mick now or am I overreacting to some minor issues which I should overlook because a little bit of juice and a little bit of electricity here and there won't kill me???

This. You and your family sound petty as fuck

Cleaner here, I would say get rid for shoddy and unreliable work and to have a word about the salmon, that’s a no no in my book but to begrudge her a drink esp in this weather just baffles me 🤦‍♀️ I’ve also had to charge my phone at a customers house. Today I asked my client if I could have a bottle of water (she’s always told me just to help myself, but I still feel I have to ask) and she told me again to just take what I want go in the fridge cupboard’s and help myself to food and drinks, I never would but they are the clients I love and would never let down without a good reason. Be kind it’s hot out there and those products make your throat dry!

Respect goes both ways. The Cleaner needs to respect her employer's home as well.

The children marking the bottle is (the way I read it) as a result of OP wondering where the drink is disappearing. The children were a part of the conversation, and so contributed their 10 cents' worth.

It's not disrespectful to wonder in the presence of children if someone working in your home is helping themselves to your things without permission. If anything, the child learns not to do it.

Common courtesy/ good manners to ask. It's the principle, not the price of whatever she is helping herself to.

I think the issue is taking without asking or having previously been given permission to help herself. If she was a great help I am sure you wouldnt mind charging and juice. Taking food without permission, especially potentially expensive food doesnt fill me with confidence that she is a good person. But then id be worried she is starving or cant help impulse. The reference to shoddy and regular excuses sounds like you guys dont have a good relationship - which you kinda need in these circumstances. Overall I dont think you are being unreasonable. Unless you both have a chat to air any issues and resolve them it looks like its the end of the line of this contract.

I make my cleaner a coffee and she often has her own lunch here. No issues, she does the work well.

OP, are you absolutely sure it's not your kids who've been eating the salmon and drinking the cordial? Because they're the usual culprits when there is mysteriously less food than expected in my house.

I think it does make a difference whether it's 2p or £2000...

The only people who are in our house are family members, guests who have come to stay, visitors or people doing work here. On that basis, they are all welcome to eat whatever we have, though the food might well be pretty basic.

I'm not saying this out of excess generosity, but because I see them as reasonable people who wouldn't be looking to make a roast dinner from scratch from whatever is in the fridge. A ham sandwich, biscuits, packet of crisps, can of coke would be absolutely fine.

I do try to remember to ask if I can get them anything - I'm often in a meeting though and feel bad when I don't have the opportunity.

I wonder if op's treatment of the cleaner is why she has "many excuses" for not turning up at times. If we ask her, she will tell us the petty excuse that cleaner has looking after a sickly relative.

It wouldn’t occur to me to mind about someone in my house charging their phone, honestly, I’d expect them to do it if it needed charging and would think it weird if they asked permission.

But helping yourself to food and drink in anyone’s house without asking is so strange. It’s not about begrudging, it’s fine if somebody asks but super presumptuous to not ask.

I honestly don’t think she even took the salmon. OP even states she’s not sure, and I think threw that into the mix as just the cordial and phone issue sounded a bit petty, but throw in some expensive salmon might garner more sympathy. I’ve never had a cleaner so not sure of the etiquette, but if I did I wouldn’t expect her to bring her own drinks, unless she had a penchant for wine or gin.

Cordial and phone charging, you're being ridiculous. Your children 'using' your cleaner to do an 'experiment' on is downright fecking disgusting. Telling someone you no longer need their services because they are not giving you the service you pay for consistently, and are not able to provide it consistently is completely reasonable

What's wrong with tap water?

I worked for a woman who gave me a bollocking for charging my phone. I walked out that day

What's wrong with her drinking squash?

It's nice to see how the vast majority of Mumsnetters treat their employees like human beings. I did not expect different but it's good to see it confirmed in black and white.

For the OP.
Do you think it might be possible that this cleaner is trying to get you to sack her, insofar as making excuses and not doing a great job, because she is picking up on the unpleasant atmosphere you are responsible for.

I can just see your kids following her around, spying and snickering, and giving mommy "helpful" reports on the cleaners activities. That's vile and the cleaner will certainly have noticed.

What cleaner goes into the fridge and gulps down smoked salmon. Don't believe that for a moment. Too weird. Eating fillings/toppings without bread/toast/bagels/whatever is a kid thing to do...or a cat's.

I will admit to marking the odd bottle of various things, over the years, when I've suspected husband is using my stuff and denying it. It always happens that it just shows I'm using it and forgetting. The trouble with that method is you mark it, have some yourself and forget to mark it again. I'd lay odds that is what's gone on here. Kids have marked the squash and then had some themselves without marking it again.

Calling squash, "juice", is very pretentious. That's always bugged me. It's like loudly announcing you're a stuck up so and so. Calling squash juice is like calling Rowntree's fruit pastels fruit.

You begrudge someone working in your home a cup of squash?

Is it only cleaners you begrudge or would you also not allow plasterers, roofers, accountants annd architects. I suggest you are a snob and think a cleaner is not worth a glass of squash.

You sound like you’ve drunk all the beers…

Calling squash, "juice", is very pretentious. That's always bugged me. It's like loudly announcing you're a stuck up so and so. Calling squash juice is like calling Rowntree's fruit pastels fruit.

We dont generally the word squash in Scotland - we call it juice or diluting juice. My family who moved to england still call it juice. We are not pretentious.

Your kids marking the bottle is fucking horrid.

that said - is actually be pissed off if someone drunk the last of anything (it’s not begrudging someone having a drink - it’s more the “taking the last bit” without being invited to.

😂

Of all the things to find pretentious... it wouldn't be calling a glass of Robinsons 'juice'.

I dunno if it's a cultural thing but if someone felt they couldn't help themselves to food in my house is be beyond mortified, like it would seriously affect me. Food is always available here and my food budget isn't massive. If she did eat the salmon could she be absolutely bloody starving? If so that's so sad aswell.

I'm not talking about people who refer to it as juice because of language/culture/tradition.

I'm talking about people who call it juice because they feel it's beneath them to admit they buy squash, so call it juice.

That's the part I find pretentious.

I'm asking nobody to agree. We all have weird things that bug us.

Hmmm a drink would be fine imo.

Multiple drinks and finishing it off is rude. She isn't there that long.

Eating the salmon is cause for immediate dismissal.

Charging phone is a complete non issue.

Either way, she sounds useless and you should find someone worth the money you're paying her.