Cleaner drank the juice, ate the salmon and charged her phone

[Shadow743]

I have a cleaner who has been coming for 2hrs a week for approx a year. She is unreliable, often texting the day before with a wide selection of reasons as to why she can't make it, and she doesn't always do a great job. I've been thinking about getting rid of her for a while but I have a lot of guilt around having a cleaner in the first place, as it feels like such a luxury and I feel like a bit of a snob for having one. I've come home whilst she's been there before and seen her charging her devices, noticed that the cordial seems to have been drunk and a couple of weeks ago, I'm sure (but can't be 100% certain) that she finished of the smoked salmon from the fridge. Today, my kids marked a line on the juice bottles as a little experiment and lo and behold, I've come home to find not only has she drunk the cordial, she's finished it AND put the empty bottle on the top of the bin.
Am I being unreasonable to be furious and feel like she's taking the mick now or am I overreacting to some minor issues which I should overlook because a little bit of juice and a little bit of electricity here and there won't kill me???

Drawing a line on the juice bottle.
Ffs. Fire your children. For being stalky little shits.

It's hot, she's cleaning. She should be offered drinks whilst there anyway. Don't you offer builders, cleaners, tradesmen a cup of tea when your there yourself? If so just see the drink as an extension of that graciousness. The issue is because your not happy with the clean and her unreliability, let her go because of that but don't mention the cordial and charging the phone because that's just making you look bad.

You are raising your kids to be nasty little snobs aren't you.
VERY poor of you to involve them.
Surely you can make up your own mind about the cleaner?
Did you ever tell her she can't charge her phone? Very mean to you.

I once had a cleaner who would arrive sober and leave drunk. She was crap at the job, needless to say.

Get rid of her.

🤣

The worst bit of all the terrible things in your post, OP, is how you're bringing up your children with this attitude towards lower-paid workers. It's horrifying.

You'd have had a fit at my last cleaner, who - with my full permission - used to charge her electric scooter in my house while she cleaned so she'd be able to get home afterwards. It would never have crossed my mind to begrudge anyone the few pennies of electricity that this would cost.

She’s not a visitor, she’s an employee that helped herself to food and drink.

’Dysfunctional household’ wtf are you on? How much of a drama queen are you that you’d come to that conclusion?

Not squash but cordial. I have a feeling that is considered superior? ( going off-topic! ) What with the cordial and smoked salmon it is a wonder the petit-fours are intact.
But, to be serious for a minute, I don’t think the OP is unreasonable to be put out by the possible food taking, but, as others have said, begrudging phone charging seems mean. With the drink, that seems mean too, although if I was the cleaner I would have asked if it was ok.

It's something that should be asked for, not just taken.

It would be a line crossed for me. Makes me uncomfortable just thinking about it.

Cordial was always the word for drink that needed diluting, not sure when squash was first used.

Normal to get a drink but polishing off your smoked salmon? No. If she's no good get rid of her but why does having a cleaner make you feel like a snob? It's a service just like someone emptying your wheelie bin.

I would have gotten rid because the cleaning isn't very good! There's no point having a cleaner if they aren't doing a good job. Pay a decent rate and lose the guilt.

However, I think taking the squash is also be a reason for immediately getting rid.

Without being given permission, taking anything other than water would be a big concern for me because a cleaner is in a position of trust and anything that doesn't sing of being scrupulously honest would cross a line for me.

I would normally expect to tell someone working in my home to help themselves to tea & coffee while they are there. But if I forgot, I'd expect to be asked, not to simply have them take. And it would not be a blanket offer on all soft drinks, though if they said they preferred squash or the like, I'd be fine with that. But I don't want to have to remember to specify if I get in something special or particularly expensive, that it was it was out of bounds.

Have you been clear with her about what she is and isn’t allowed to do?

It’s hot so I’m not surprised she wants a drink. I do think taking your cordial without asking is cheeky but maybe other people she cleans for let her and she just assumed. Same with the phone. I wouldn’t begrudge it her but she should ask.

Does she clean your fridge? Might she have thrown the salmon away thinking it was off?

You need to be clear with her what is and isn’t OK

BUT if she’s unreliable anyway that’s a far bigger problem and you need to get someone who isn’t. When you get a new person, a set clear boundaries.

I'm a cleaner and I wouldn't dream of taking anything out of the fridge or using a client's electricity. If they said to me "help yourself to juice/fruit/snacks" then I might but probably wouldn't even do it as an hour or two isn't a lot of time to get the job done and I don't need a break for two hours work. I have been guilty of playing with the dogs (after my shift).

A friend of mine came home early to find her cleaner in the bath! Now THAT is taking the piss.

Our cleaners and tradesmen have been with us for years and encouraged to help themselves to whatever they want. I don't see them as employees because they are not. They provide a service, and will likely be providing those services to this property long after we move on.

DP used to be a farm labourer and getting fed properly at lunchtime came with the job. I asked his opinion neutrally, to work out whether I'm just a bit unusual - but he agreed completely. He sits the cleaners down for lunch when making lunch when I'm not here.

So, I suspect there are cultural differences of which I was previously unaware. I don't see the food in the fridge as 'my food' - it's communal for people who are here, whether living, visiting or working.

Cleaning is strenuous work and if people are driving between jobs they might not have time to eat properly. And - smoked salmon isn't even very expensive any more, unless it was wild-caught from the Dee and smoked in your own smokehouse.

Unreliable service provider - get rid. Should've got rid of her as soon as she started messing you around.

Charging devices - fine if she'd asked first, not on if she didn't. I know it's pennies worth of electricity but that's not the point, I wouldn't dream of just plugging my phone in at someone else's house without asking if they minded.

Helping herself to drinks - not on unless she was invited to. I just don't think it's the done thing to help yourself to other people's stuff, and the fact it's inexpensive isn't the point. It's the principle. I'll offer service providers drinks, but if they helped themselves (unless I said they could) it would piss me off.

My thought on reading that the kids had marked the bottles was that OP had been accusing the kids of taking the cordial and they're the ones who likely suggested it's the cleaner and then marked the bottles to try and prove it.

One of my teachers at school told us once how she came home to find her cleaner in a deckchair in the garden, wearing one of her sundresses. Which is going a bit far.

Re the salmon, does she usually give the fridge a wipe and clean out? She may have sniffed it, decided it was a bit past its best, and chucked it out or given it to the cat or dog, if you have one. Why didn't you just ask her about it?

Tbh I would never think charging a phone could be an issue.
I charge my private one at work all the time, same as others. We all do well above awerage pay and no one made an issue with it.

I briefly had a cleaner and always told her to make herself tea, have juice or coke, and told her to take some fruit or snacks we keep in a bowl.
And gues what?
She was very dedicated and made an effort.

I am given these things at my office job and I see no reason not to offer them to someone I employ.

I'd imagine she's sweating cleaning for 2 hours in this heat.

So no I wouldn't begrudge her drinking a cold drink. The charging of a phone costs barely anything.

You're not sure about the salmon.... so nothing you can do.

The fact she isn't a great cleaner is a different ballgame.

Well it doesn’t matter - you clearly do not like her so 🤷‍♀️

I wouldn't begrudge a drink or charging phone. It would be best to ask first. But getting your kids to mark the bottle of squash says it all about you. Wow OP.

It doesn’t make any difference whether the salmon costs 2p or £2,000. The point is the cleaner helped herself without being offered.

Who the hell has a ‘communal fridge’ unless you’re in shared accommodation or stupidly rich? You’re clearly living on another planet.

Good grief, children marking the juice bottle tells me all I need to know about you

My parents had a home help. Their shopping list always included cans of Diet Coke, because that's what she drank.