Are Mumsnet vipers evil?

[GoodieMcTwoshoes]

Just that really.

I suppose it would partly depend on your definition of one.

Whenever I see a comment from a viper I wonder if they would like someone to speak to their children like that?

But this is a fallacious argument, isn't it? Because on MN we're talking to other adults, not children.

I think those talking about Christian values need to read their Bible. Jesus was an agitator, he turned tables, he got angry, he believed in truth. He pissed off the crowds and the authorities because he wouldn’t bow to their secular hypocrisy.

I'm a hardcore atheist, but I find it hard to believe that the Biblical Jesus would encourage a women to stay with an abusive partner, especially one who had had his abusive ways pointed out to him but remained unrepentant and unwilling to change.

When you have been here a while (about 17 years for me) and understand who the trolls and goady posters are, it all becomes much clearer.

I do think there are some people on here who jump immediately to the wrong conclusions and who can be extremely unkind. There are ways and ways of telling people they are wrong/mistaken/whatever, without being deliberately cruel.

I think the vipers are a great lot. 90% of them are straight talking ,no nonsense bunch who if asked will often offer sound advice with no hidden agenda. Its only when you yourself are not ready to hear the real truth that causes issues.

Only to those that cannot adult

I pray to jesus regularly to help me be a better viper

I think there’s a certain poster who people try to emulate - rhymes with AnyTrucker - and it’s not as cute as they think it is.

The loveliest thread I saw on was a poster who asked how to wash and keep a daily personal hygiene routine. Lots of so called vipers spent time helping and explaining each stage. Turned out she had grown up with little care and help and nobody to show her what many of us would take for granted. I think response depends on the context.

I haven’t seen her in years. Almost forgot.

There are women on here who could argue with their own shadow, but they aren’t necessarily nasty. Just not at all agreeable.

There’s no requirement to be agreeable here.

What is a MN viper?

I completely agree.

They seem to hide under this guise of being women that "take no shit" and "say it as it is" but they are not really, it's like this title of viper makes them feel good and is an achievement- its not.

They just come across as really bitter and unhappy, no-one needs to be rude to be honest, no- one should need to put others down to make their point or justify their choices. There is a way to give advice and be a strong woman - dragging others down along the way is not one of them.

I find it enormously refreshing - as others have said, because women don't feel constrained by the 'be kind' dogma. I don't meant I personally like it if people are gratuitously mean to people for the sake of it. But I feel like at work (and most places in my life) I have to follow the 'be kind' dogma and when I don't I'm labelled as 'grumpy' / 'short' etc - all the negative words applied to women, and am pulled up on it, whereas men get 'confident' 'assertive' 'direct'. So I love that women feel they can say whatever the hell they want to here - even if it's unkind, in which case, so what - if someone says something to you which you don't like, just say what's on your mind right back at them.

But I don't actually think for the most part it's a nest of vipers anyway, I think it's a den of wise direct women offering frank advice and a variety of perspectives and viewpoints - from which people can take from what they need and find useful. Of course there's the odd person just being rude for the sake of it but no more so than anywhere on the internet.

She’s around. I saw her earlier today.

It’s nothing to do with “be kind”.

It’s the ocean of smarmy, passive aggressive comments that follow a post, where those responding make things up and read into things that aren’t there.

And it’s not genuine. The response to a post depends upon the first two or three comments. After that point, everyone just agrees with the direction the thread has taken.

Just been bitten by a viper on another thread! Sad really, I hope she feels better about herself and her own life soon.

If everyone self sacrificed for everyone else then the world would be a different place. But it does feel a bit harder because not everyone does.

I've been trying to be a bit more like it recently, and it is surprisingly more relaxing (if you consciously choose it for yourself rather than it just being as a result of conditioning) because you don't care about what happens. There's nothing that you can lose that is significant.

I mean everything on this earth, such as money (except the bare minimum you need to survive, and care for your family) means nothing and everything else means nothing (in a good way, not a nihilistic way.) A sense of what's important. None of the stuff of this world is important (though it might not be easy to feel that way sometimes.)

Seventy years versus eternity.

I came on here the night my son died. I will be forever grateful for the immediate avalanche of kindness, support and ongoing of the same for literally years afterwards. I try to extend the same to others going through the same thing.
I have seen wonderful support from women on here to others who are distressed, ill, worried about their children, being bullied at work, going through relationship difficulties. On MN, as in the world, there are wonderful people and nasty people. IME there are far more of the former than the latter.

I mean everything on this earth, such as money (except the bare minimum you need to survive, and care for your family) means nothing and everything else means nothing (in a good way, not a nihilistic way.) A sense of what's important. None of the stuff of this world is important (though it might not be easy to feel that way sometimes.)

Seventy years versus eternity.

I'm sorry, but no. Hard no. Even if you believe there is something after death (I don't), how is it EVER justified to sacrifice not just yourself but the wellbeing of your children and their entire future by staying with a dysfunctional and abusive partner? How can anything and anyone justify that?

Aside from that, if your god wants women to suffer for decades by staying in an abusive relationship, he's a sociopath. Stuff isn't important, I agree with you on that. But safety, joy, happiness? They are worth everything. And no relationship should ever be the altar upon which those things are sacrificed.

This is why religion is so often utterly toxic for women.

Well He went into the temple and threw tables about, made a whip out of chords, and drove out the tax collects, so there’s that.

Also turning water into wine at the point when everyone was already pretty well plied with wine.

My kind of party tbh.

So sorry for your loss.

Nothing as extreme, but I’ve had some excellent advice here.