Are Mumsnet vipers evil?

[GoodieMcTwoshoes]

Just that really.

I suppose it would partly depend on your definition of one.

I don’t view them as evil, I view them as unhappy and trying to relieve their unhappiness by unleashing it to strangers with no consequences.

The spitefully shitty rejection of ‘be kind’ is hugely taken advantage of.

I don't think anyone is "evil" but I see some posts which are viciously unkind in the most unnecessary way and i do wonder how sad, frustrated and powerless the people's lives who post like that must be to feel compelled to do that. It's quite sad in my opinion and I tend to pity them.

Christian values? Hmm, I am loosely C of E, but there is no way I am turning the other cheek. Slap me, and I will ensure you do not do it again. If that's unchristian, so be it.

Didimum, Most of us are kind, but the 'Be Kind' fashion, for want of a better word, usually means let someone walk all over you. Let the men in women's changing rooms, let the minority have their way at the cost of the majority. Sacrifice yourself to ' Be kind'.
There is nothing wrong with saying 'No'. Sometimes, it is actually kinder to say 'No'. It is good to have boundaries.

The posters who are viciously unkind are usually jumped on pretty quick.

@gardenmusic I do understand what you mean when you say "be kind" can mean shut up and let me do what I want and I totally agree women shouldn't fall for that. However there are certainly people on here who are just looking for an excuse to be nasty and cruel and to try and make others feel back. Its perfectly possible to push back or offer some critique or opposing view without being vicious and cruel.

Totally agree with this.
Whenever I see a comment from a viper I wonder if they would like someone to speak to their children like that?

@GoodieMcTwoshoes I’m a fan of Christian values.

I’m not a fan of women being trampled over as a result. They apply to men as well as women.

When people don’t have boundaries, other people abuse their availability. Jesus went aside into quiet places to pray. He got in a boat to avoid the crowds who wanted him. When he was asked to leave work because his mother and brothers wanted him, he refused and said each of these here are my brothers and sisters.

Women who are expected to devote themselves to the well being of others keep pouring out of empty cups and make themselves ill.

I’m a practicing Christian, in church leadership, who has given and given to family, the community and those in genuine need around me. I’m now ill and of little use. I have had to learn to value myself for more than what can do for others. As I can’t do much for others now.

totally agree with this.
Whenever I see a comment from a viper I wonder if they would like someone to speak to their children like that?

Those are not the Vipers. You have the wrong idea. These are the idiots, the goads, the trolls. Those looking to derail by causing an argument because they do not like the attention going elsewhere. The wilfully misunderstaning.
The vipers are the ones who stand no nonsense and help those in a fix.

Better change your username then

Haha I'd never thought about it like that. My favourite two were Argentine. Ernesto was an older gentleman with a jolly laugh and Hector was just a lovely guy, his family were pretty new to Spain and lived right near our apartment. We had a pool on the complex so on days off his wife and kids would come round to use the pool. His wife made amazing empanadas and salads and when she was pregnant, a few of us would encourage tips on departure coaches 😂 That was nearly 20 years ago now, funny the things you suddenly remember!

Christians are allowed to say Keir Starmer was talking twaddle! He was! He was struggling with a very specific question and talked twaddle. I was there. I’m sure there are many Christians and non Christians alike who thinks he waffles on about wry little, a lot of the time.

Would it help if I said Boris also talks twaddle? As does Trump? Right pair of plonkers.

This, but I’m not nice enough to pity them.

No. This is wrong The phrase originated with an article Libby Purves wrote, and she used it to describe women on mumsnet who were attacking her with the fact that her son committed suicide. Absolutely contemptible.

It’s not a badge of honour as some seem to think it is

Those who help those in a fix are just ordinary, decent women. The vipers are the spiteful losers who kick those when they are down, in their most vulnerable spot.

No, you are wrong.
You are taking one post. There have been a great many where posters have asked for help from the vipers.
Those attacking Libby (I have not seen this) would be the trolls, goads etc.

Self sacrifice for everyone else

Bollocks to that. It's my life, I only have one of them, when I'm dead I'm dead. I'm not going to waste it in a crap relationship with a crap person, or putting up with people who take advantage of me just because it's the "nice" thing to do.

The Dude who absolutely trashed a load of stalls, chased the traders out and told them they were a bunch of thieves? And when the kids were shouting out his name he pretty much tilted his head on one side and asked them if they'd ever heard of a bit of their own sacred texts?

Couldn't have been much more of a Mumsnetter if he'd tried. Especially when he'd also drop into every conversation 'my DDad says...'.

What exactly have Christian values got to do with mn?
I post my opinion with no thought whatsoever with regards to Christian values, why would I?
If you want an opinion based on your religious leanings go ask someone at church 🤷‍♀️

Nothing quite as satisfying as being able to gloat at the misfortune’s of others. MN always provides a good supply of hapless victims.

This.

Yes we are vipers.
We are not evil.
We tell CFs that they are being CFs
We tell people who are being used by CFs, cocklodgers and toxic family members that they aren't wrong for wanting to be treated better, and hopefully tell them so in firm enough terms that they manage to acquire a backbone.

Our anthem is sung by the witch in "Into the Woods" I'm not good I'm not nice I'm just right and as observed elsewhere in the same musical by another character Nice is different than Good

We don't owe the world nice

Meh. Not evil, self indulgent.
I think those that count themselves as a 'viper' take it as a compliment but it's not really.

Some are rude antagonising keyboard warriers. Most are blunt and take no prisoners which doesn't translate too well on text alone, even if it is supposed to be supportive.

Riapia · Today 13:15
Nothing quite as satisfying as being able to gloat at the misfortune’s of others. MN always provides a good supply of hapless victims.

Now this is a prime example of goading, and may well receive some vituperative replies.
Who's gloating? When misfortune is posted there will be a lot of sound advice. Some irritation and telling it as it is when a poster will not catch themselves on, maybe. Sympathy, usually.
Mumsnet, being a predomonantly female site will have a good many victims of circumstance, because that's our life at present - the woman is usually the one left holding the baby, doing the caring, or trying to balance work/life.
Often the victims have been victimized, and sound advice (and why post if you don't want it) will often help them out of the current state.
It's not something people revel in, it's women helping women. Except for the goads, incels, trolls, and male apologists, of course.

What are Christian values anyway? We could argue about that one for years.

I have no time for people who post 'why did you have another baby with him then' in response to a desperate woman in a toxic relationship - but equally I have no time for people who post 'have you considered marriage counselling?' when someone is in a relationship with an outright abuser. As always, the truth is somewhere in the middle.

Women on Mumsnet saved my sanity when I was in the thick of it with my abusive alcoholic husband, who is now dead. Their straight talk kept me strong. I am RL friends with some of them now.

LaWench · Today 13:53
Some are rude antagonising keyboard warriers. Most are blunt and take no prisoners which doesn't translate too well on text alone, even if it is supposed to be supportive.

Every site gets it's fair share of dickheads. Most Mummsnetters are not rude and antagonising. We have our fair share of people who simply wish to disrupt a thread.

I don't think it is evil. Most of the advice I see on here is from a well mening place even if it differs. There is a noisy time rich minority that populate opposite camps though who end up rehashing the same arguments across multiple threads or have a very set unwavering opinion that they absolutely must voice irrespective of the arguments against their position. It gets a bit tedious at times.

Tbf I misphrased this. I totally agree with you. Some are knobheads but most are blunt but well intentioned. I've been on here 17yrs and have seen the dickheads come and go but generally it is a supportive site.