Would you let someone you know gets coldsores kiss your baby?

[Borninabarn32]

Very simple. Baby due imminently, family member very put out by "rules". Causing lots of stress and anxiety about having to protect boundaries when I'm at my most vulnerable. Just want to know if I'm being ridiculous on this one point.

YABU so long as they didn't have a visible cold sore I wouldn't have a problem with the kissing baby's face and hands.

YANBU even if there's no visible coldsore I would feel uncomfortable about them kissing baby's hands and face.

Same here. I just didn't kiss my baby when I had a cold sore. She's adult now and has never had one.

I don't think your post is sending the message you think it is.

My sister kissed my baby on the lips when she was 6 weeks old. I politely asked she doesn't do this due to virus' and she was very offended, said she doesn't have hpv virus... So it goes to show how many people are uneducated on this ! I was also told to sort my anxiety out lol.

Blanket rule no kissing the baby op.

I thought the common thing was that no one kisses babies apart from the parents.

I would ask not to kiss if there is a visible cold sore or a tingle to indicate one developing.

My dad gets cold sores and he kisses us unless he has one or feels one coming. None of us have ever had one. Same with him kissing my kids and my brothers kids.

never had to specify rules as he uses his common sense. If I asked him not to kiss at all then he’d respect that.

I'm very relaxed but i didn't want anyone kissing my babies and no way would i have let a smoker near one , luckily it never arose as have no smokers in family/friends anymore .
Not unreasonable at all to have boundaries ,babies are very vulnerable.

I get cold sores ( have a beauty now ) and wouldn’t dream of kissing a baby , no Mayer how gorgeous they are
MIL smoked , she claimed she gave up , but didn’t
I really didn’t want her anywhere near the baby , and had several huge rows with her about it
Silly woman still says she doesn’t smoke , she doesn’t realise that non smokers can smell cigarette smoke from a distance , and a polo doesn’t help !

As someone who occasionally gets cold sores, I would say absolutely no way.

They are infectious before they even appear. I've had many worries about kissing my kids then later on in the day a cold sore appeared from nowhere with no warning.

I'd definitely play it safe and keep your boundaries. It's surely common knowledge that you don't kiss other people's babies.

No need for people to be kissing your baby. They are extremely lucky you allow them a hold/cuddle. I wouldn't let my FiL, or any other smokers, hold my baby at all because he was a smoker and I didn't want my baby stinking of smoke.

Yanbu! No smokers ever got near my babies either. Let them be offended. Their filthy habit, their consequences.

I had dreadful coldsores as a child & young person. I was careful not to kiss my son when he was tiny. But, at 12m old he caught the virus & ended up in hospital. My H caught it too. He also ended up in hospital & the IVF cycle we were doing failed due to zero sperm. It was really awful. They had sores in ears, under eyelids, down their throats. It can be very dangerous to babies.

Blanket ban is best. 70% of UK population have HSV1. Anyone kissing your baby could be asymptomatically shedding the virus.

I wouldn't kiss someone else's baby fullstop. When my son was newborn (23 years ago) I didn't know about the risk of herpes otherwise I would have enforced a no kissing rule

The smoking thing is harder to police. I would say please don't smoke before coming but you can't police whether people have washed hair/changed clothes. Perhaps you or DH could find a way of mentioning it if the smell does still linger on them.

As a cold sore sufferer myself absolutely no. Stick to your guns and ignore anyone pressuring you. You do not need permission to protect your child.

No kissing, end of.

You don't have to let your MIL anywhere near the baby at all. Much better to lay down ground rules now- she can wave through the window once every 6 months and be grateful.

There is no need to be nice about it. You can police it and tell them your rules. Would you rather risk the baby than be impolite?

I don’t even get why people expect or want to kiss other peoples babies. I don’t get it.

Your right tho op I certainly wouldn’t want someone who gets cold sores thinking they can come kiss my child.

re smokers frankly if you smelt of smoke I’d say no full stop 🤷🏻‍♀️ even after 30 minutes it will still be lingering on the clothes.

If the family member won't accept your request or rules they wouldn't be seeing the baby
Herpes can kill a newborn

Nobody should be kissing your baby

Hold on to the newborn yourself so no one else can pick the baby up. You and DP are baby's only line of defence and will need protection from anyone daft or selfish enough to think it OK to kiss a baby or be around a baby after smoking. Their feelings are unimportant compared with the baby's health and safety.

Have you actually presented people with a list of rules?!

I am so scared of them getting angry when baby is here. We have had multiple conversations. They absolutely do not see our side and absolutely think we're being ridiculous. No amount of saying that it's absolutely common means anything. I will stand my ground when baby is here. I am being reasonable. Thank you for reassuring me of that. I am hoping with the 30 minutes and washing hands baby won't come back to me smelling of smoke, if they do I don't know what I'll do. They smoke in their house, even changing their clothes they'll still smell of smoke.

I'll be firm on the kissing, for everyone but no one ever tried to kiss my first so there's no one else that's a concern really. They don't believe herpes is a risk to baby, they said its hereditary so I don't even know where to go from there.