To think most online adult ADHD diagnoses are bullshit?

[OptimismvsRealism]

(I have ADHD btw.)

I know it can manifest in different ways but all these neat ladies organising multiple events a day and keeping a perfect home do not have it. They just paid £600 to Adhd-4-u and (to everyone's suprise !) came out with a diagnosis.

I don't think anyone these days can accept that life is hard and they just have a mediocre intellect.

I never tell anyone about my diagnosis now because it's embarrassing to be lumped in with the buy your own amphetamine prescription brigade.

I think the market should be regulated as there are a lot of unscrupulous practitioners out there.

I definitely get what you're saying but my family were really surprised - as was I (until I understood it) - when I received a diagnosis.

I think bragging about a diagnosis isn't great but then there's also a benefit to talking about things publicly. A difficult balance.

I also like to keep things neat and tidy as it's one thing I can be in control of!

Honestly I think your anger is misplaced - just because you don't see your diagnosis mirrored in other people doesn't mean they don't have ADHD.

They might be incredible at masking. They might have amazing coping mechanisms! They might just have a different manifestation of their ADHD.

Perhaps others think the same about you 🤷

Of course, because they're not like you the couldn't possibly have adhd 🙄 yes there will be a number of people out there without ADHD who have a diagnosis but I don't think it's the epidemic you believe it to be.

P.s. having a neat and tidy house or being an event planner doesn't mean you can't possibly have ADHD.

I'm kind of with you OP (and I too am diagnosed, but I question it!)
I think it maybe is overdiagnosed or that the way we respond to modern life (and screens) is overpathologised.

As someone who starts a million things at once and leaves them all half finished, leaving a trail of well intentioned but chaotic destruction behind me, I get what you’re saying.

But now I see DH in action, who fully harnesses his skills that it really can manifest so differently. He can multitask like nobody I’ve ever met - he can read something, while typing something unrelated and talk at the same time. And he blitzes housework like nobody I’ve ever met. It’s insane!

if anyone saw his organisation and tidiness they’d doubt him. But underneath it’s a whirlwind of chaos!

I am somewhat hesitant about some online assessments and their quality though.

So you object to pay-to-diagnose companies for giving out the diagnosis but think you yourself are perfectly justified in diagnosing someone as NOT having it based on their social media post? Tell me how this works exactly

I work closely with a psychiatrist who has a private practice as well as working in the NHS assessment clinic. I know that they consider the overall level of function when diagnosing and if a person does not struggle to function, they dismiss a referral. I feel very uneasy about it. I am autistic but being in my 40s I have excellent coping strategies. Whereas in my childhood, teenage years, my 20s and 30s I was a complete mess. Does it mean my ASD is now cured?

I don't have a diagnosis but strongly suspect I have it (strong family links, child diagnosed, one on the pathway).
Most people would not believe I could do my job with it, but I manage to use hyper focus to get stuff done, the endorphins of complete to do lists etc. However I am then totally burnt out and my house and home life is often chaos.
You have no idea about other aspects of their life.

But the NHS waiting list for adult ADHD assessment is 5 years, so what alternative is there? GPs sneer because they've never seen anyone told they don't have ADHD from these assessments but a) they won't, because you wouldn't tell your GP if you had been told you don't have it and b) you're a self selecting group who feels they have symptoms before they start the assessment. What else are people taking these tests meant to do?

So are you saying that because someone can appear like they have their shit together on the outside, then they can't possibly have it? Ok then.

Were you diagnosed as an adult or a child? NHS or private?

I don't think anyone these days can accept that life is hard and they just have a mediocre intellect.

That is an absolutely savage thing to say, OP... but I agree.

Can't people just be 'a bit thick' any more? It's ok if your kid isn't the brightest.

Something that really does my nut in is that people drive themselves barmy with the need to be totally amazing and perfect. The flipside to that is, why do you think you are so special that you must be 100% brilliant? Why can't you deal with being average? 50% of us are going to have to be 'below average', after all.

What's it got to do with intelligence? It's about organisational skills and concentration isn't it?

Yeah... really odd to associate low IQ with people being given incorrect ADHD diagnoses

I totally see this as well.

I have about 5 friends diagnosed with ADHD now. They are doctors, marketing managers, Heads of IT. What seemed to have happened is they fail one exam or get a bad work review and then they go to a private doctor, it magically turns out that they had ADHD all along and that’s why they failed on this one particular occasion. They are also so super smart for managing to “mask” all this time.

I absolutely believe that many of the symptoms of ADHD are real and many people struggle with them (time blindness, executive function etc). I don’t believe that so many people with all these different symptoms to different degrees all have this one disorder that needs stimulants to treat. Seems like a culture bound syndrome to me.

I wouldn’t link intelligence or “being thick” to ADHD or any other neurodivergence…. it’s not the same thing at all.

Honestly OP your attitude is the reason I didn't seek a diagnosis for years, much to the detriment of my quality of life and mental health.

Honestly you need a proper diagnosis and not a toys are us print your own!

Everyone experiences it in different ways, you should know that. Also a lot of adhd also can potentially have Asd as a 50 50 co-morb so sometimes that side can conflict with the ADHD.

Some people mask that much, they look like they've got it together but then they burn out often and very regularly.

Internal ableism is a thing. You stating that does nothing to help our cause. It might help to take a moment to understand what has got you feeling that way.

If someone knew of my life, they might not think I have it. I've held down a job for 20 years, been in a relationship for nearly 20. Got a cat, flat and a car. Go out with friends.

But guess what? My whole life is a wreck.
I can never keep up with anything. I cannot do chores. I struggle to manage my life. I have reasonable adjustments with work and I'm struggling even with that . I'm rawdogging life because get what I chose to be unmedicated.
I feel my whole life has so many missed chances due to undiagnosed ADHD. I find it hard to focus, to get anything done. I am always amazed at people that just get things done without thinking. I have to use my phone calendar to manage myself or I would never remember anything.

I got diagnosed last year face to face privately due to the long waiting list I was on. My GP checked out the consultant psychiatrist certifications for me to prove he was legit.

I also got diagnosed with dyspraxia, which was missed in childhood.

Please realise statements like this can be damaging to us. NT people already think not very much of us at times, going by some of the threads on here and it makes me sad so much. I hate the misinformation too. 😔

I forgot to add oh god the overwhelm and the sensory issues. And the 5 emotions at once. Getting angry. Binge eating. And I've had to buy loops because of my sensory issues. This stuff ain't fun.

Everyone and their dog will get a "diagnosis" from these businesses. Based on a self reported list of questions and one conversation. What harms "us" (whoever we might be) is a deluge of people who think they should have got better a levels and are bemused that life is boring. "Oh it just makes so much sense".

It turns healthcare providers into legal dealers and makes a mockery of genuine difficulties.

It's just the latest fad and it gets right on my tits.

This. My children and I all have it. My dc are all grammar educated and 2 are at uni. It has wrecked our lives for a variety of reasons. 2 have been seriously ill. Medication has been life changing for 1.My other child has it too. He is very bright and recently fell to pieces at uni. I don’t want him to try to kill himself like his sister and waiting lists are 4 years so I am going to have to pay for a private diagnosis. Nice to hear it’s bullshit.

@olpo

Do some reading on ADHD. DS1 has just got almost full marks in his SATs. I've got a degree from Oxford.

I would hope that the medical practise would take it seriously and that wouldn't just let rogue cowboy wannabes just diagnose anyone.

Mine is 100% legit and like I said was face to face. This guy is a consultant psychiatrist. Can't get higher than that. To be a consultant is someone who is at the top of their field. They have GP data sharing too so I didn't need to go through them for medication if I didn't want to. I never got pushed into any medication.

To be fair, I don't need to explain myself to anyone but you know that a lot of time we do over explain.

There was a lot of undiagnosed women due to female conditioning, masking and it comes out differently in females which is why it's the biggest newest diagnosis age. All the previous research was skewed and based on little boys.

I hardly think in my late 30s, that I want to be labelled as this for a trend. No I did it to get help at work. To understand myself. To help myself. Not to be drugged up.

How do I even know you have it anyway? You could be just saying. Just like anyone can these days apparently.

Yes my NHS suppprt group for NHS diagnosed adults is full of highly qualified and intelligent people.

Jesus wish my life was a bloody fad, then this difficult shit might stop after a life time of it.

Like I said internal ableism is a thing and you definitely have that.