To think most online adult ADHD diagnoses are bullshit?

[OptimismvsRealism]

(I have ADHD btw.)

I know it can manifest in different ways but all these neat ladies organising multiple events a day and keeping a perfect home do not have it. They just paid £600 to Adhd-4-u and (to everyone's suprise !) came out with a diagnosis.

I don't think anyone these days can accept that life is hard and they just have a mediocre intellect.

I never tell anyone about my diagnosis now because it's embarrassing to be lumped in with the buy your own amphetamine prescription brigade.

I think the market should be regulated as there are a lot of unscrupulous practitioners out there.

How is adhd safe? You have to let insurance know, it can impact work , often has comorbities such as autism and sufferers often have impulsivity and mental health struggles too. 2 of my children were fast tracked due to risk to life as a result of suspected adhd.

Posters really need to do their research properly before posting. It’s hugely damaging.

I agree, the BBC did an expose about this a few years ago, people logging into a Zoom call and being "diagnosed" in 10 minutes by someone who wasn't even a doctor.

My student-aged DS has recently been diagnosed (privately as the NHS is not interested) and it involved 2 separate meetings with a consultant psychiatrist, endless questionnaires, I had to tell them all about my pregnancy and how he was as a young child, supply any school reports we had... it was not a quick process at all! If he thinks he needs medication then that will involve more appointments to get the drug dose right - he hasn't gone down this road yet. Our GP will write the actual prescription under shared care, but the appointments will have to be private.

Op includes your son’s diagnosis too. Basically anybody who doesn’t have an nhs diagnosis (which is ridiculous given the wait time )and definitely anybody who the NHS sees no need for referral.

Lucky you that you could afford F2F private. Some private providers costs ££££, others less. Desperate parents can’t always afford the most expensive option.

Word of warning not all gps will fund privately diagnosed medication and its £100s a month.

Thanks, a great explanation.

Very sorry to hear that. I feel rejection, " take things to heart" worry, ruminate, can't let it drop.
But I am not a young person. I just have to suck it up and get on.

Maybe there's something in that. We all want to belong , to be part of. Maybe a diagnosis gives people their tribe.

The tone of the OP is incredibly goady but I do think it’s likely that ADHD is being overdiagnosed. It’s still real, though.

If you are fundamentally able to function well (or even extremely well, as some on this thread seem to be) I am not sure why you need a diagnosis for what amounts to some challenging personality traits.

Um she can’t just drop it. 🤔If she could she wouldn’t have a diagnosis. She doesn’t want a tribe.

Do you even know what adhd is?

Well for me, I've been called a primadonna, a drama queen, cagey, touchy, sensitive, and many other names all my life.

I spent my teen years planning my death because I'd spent countless nights trawling books and the Internet for answers as to why I just was not able to stay calm like everybody else.

I felt like there must have been something inherently wrong with me and it could not be helped and my only way out was death.

Then I got my autism diagnosis, and I'd done some reading about RSD and suddenly I wasn't gaslighting myself into thinking I was going crazy and I knew myself better and I know that now actually sometimes it's because of a perceived sense of rejection or criticism.

So now I can ask for accomodations. I can ask my boss to warn me ahead of time, I can ask for constructive feedback, I can ask for space and time to process things, I can reassure friends and family that if I do have an OTT reaction that it isn't their problem. That I have listened to what they are saying, and before we continue discussing things I have to take a break because I need time to regulate.

Being called names all your life for something out of your control is traumatic. It really is debilitating.

It isn't just a bit of worry or rumination or upset.

They're all normal responses to rejection. The disordered part is where the reactions are uncontrollable and disproportionate.

OK , Um, I'm sorry , it must be very difficult.

I do also think it's normal for people to want a tribe though.

We are social creatures. It's hard when you feel like an outlier.

I don't necessarily think that's the primary driver though because ironically I feel more of an outlier in the autism community than in a NT community.

Everyone's needs clash with autism it's harder to put on a mask.

ADHD is similar, there are so many kinds of adhd, people some people are clean some are messy, some internalise some externalise. No 2 people are the same.

Surely you understand that the poster you’re replying to means safe if you don’t really have it.

Obviously many people do have ADHD that impacts massively on their life. But if you are just a little bit scatty, claiming an ADHD identity can make you feel part of something, bring social benefits in certain circles, give you a ready-made excuse for your failures and so on. It’s safe. It’s reassuring. And it’s a spectrum disorder so no one will bat an eye if it doesn’t seem all that debilitating.

You don’t get an adhd diagnosis if you’re a little bit scatty. Most people in the support groups I’m on are deeply ashamed of their diagnosis so I would love to see the evidence and links for your declaration.

People look down on you. There are no social benefits and there is nothing to be part of aside from shared misery.

Try mentioning " low mood" or even "depression" and watch the room clear.

Of course. Who doesn’t in this day and age? Not only do I know what it is, according to many online tests at least, I very definitely have it! But I have strategies that make my life easier and they work so why do I need a label?

One of my parents absolutely has ADHD that is debilitating and essentially means they can’t do anything, and I mean anything. A total lack of executive function that has shaped their whole life. But because of their generation they have been written off as a bit odd. Diagnosis and medication would have been truly beneficial to them.

All these armchair psychiatrist and psychologist posts are hilarious. Don’t quit the day job eh?

Absolutely - you don’t want a condition that might, say, prevent you from driving or raise questions about job ability etc.

And a label should not be an excuse. Being late is just rude, as it impacts other people, wasting their time or causing them anxiety. And then puts the blame on the idiot sitting there waiting for being annoyed/worried because the latecomer has ADHD .

Ah so you have it ( even though you have no diagnosis)but others don’t- based on a few online tests.

Do define “function” and why those of us on here with actual diagnoses don’t have it but you and your parents without a diagnosis do?

I totally disagree that there are no social benefits. If you are youngish, very online etc there absolutely are benefits. Having any perceived disadvantaged identity comes with social cachet in these circles. Maybe it is different where you are but here everyone is trumpeting their diagnoses with pride.

Because they don’t really have it, or at least not in a way that really impacts them. If you really have it I am not talking about you.

And you absolutely can get an adhd diagnosis if you are a bit scatty, or not even that. People have posted the undercover investigation into this all over this thread.

I repeat, i believe ADHD is real and many people have it. I also believe it’s easy to game the system and many do.

There are no downsides to ADHD diagnoses (except the association with the internet mills now). I don't need to research it for reasons explained in the op. There's no extra charge for insurance purposes unless you wigged out on holiday and had to come home.

Now you’re just talking even more complete rubbish.

No downsides to ADHD diagnosis.😂😂😂

You misunderstand what I say. According to tests I meet the criteria. No, I wouldn’t label myself as having ADHD and I think those who are similar to me but do so are milking it frankly.

ADHD affects executive function as you surely know? In the case of my parent it affects it so severely that almost any simple task is beyond them. Forget about exams, job interviews etc. Can’t keep a house habitable or even get themselves together to buy the basic necessities to live to day to day in a way that isn’t totally chaotic. There was a poster on here a few weeks ago who talked about not having a sofa, oven gloves etc and people were diagnosing adhd left and right. My parent is like this. Can’t keep time at all and hyperfocuses on meaningless tasks endlessly to the point they miss really important appointments. No budgeting, bills and other important letters left unopened for months. And so on. You get the picture.

There are many downsides to really having ADHD.

There are no downsides to getting a diagnosis if you don’t really have it.

Do you see the difference?

Err yes I do because most of us with adhd

“Can’t keep time at all and hyperfocuses on meaningless tasks endlessly to the point they miss really important appointments. No budgeting, bills and other important letters left unopened for months. And so on. You get the picture.”

That is the why we get a diagnosis. Along with other crippling and dangerous symptoms such as impulsivity.

Some of us have developed some coping strategies over the years but still massively underperform. It’s a spectrum after you meet the threshold and intelligence and other factors will vary from sufferer to sufferer.One of my dc can’t and hasn’t done exams. Her sibling has but got woeful grades, he’s insanely bright. Couldn’t sit through all his exams but what he wrote got him something. Other symptoms for him are worse.

Having any perceived disadvantaged identity comes with social cachet in these circles

Nobody dares voice this sort of thing.