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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

7 after school activities for 5 year old

74 replies

Groomofthestool · 15/08/2024 02:57

Please help

My dd is 5 and starting in September will be attending 5 activities per week.
Monday -Swim
Tuesday -Gymnastics
Wednesday -Music
Sat morn- Sport
Sun morn -Sport

I already think this is too much. DH is now pushing to add in figure skating and dance. These are things she loves but she will be exhausted surely?! I mean when does she have time to see family, have a bath, do play dates, do crafts? I don't know how to reason with him. The debate is getting heated. AIBU?

OP posts:

otravezempezamos · 15/08/2024 03:35

Given that both of your weekend mornings are taken up I am amazed you haven’t cracked already! What a tie…
She already does enough by the sound of it, I would say set a limit on how many activities are feasible and let her pick (swimming a non negotiable as it’s a life skill).

LovePoppy · 15/08/2024 03:36

That sounds insane to me. We try for two activities per season

tuttuttutt · 15/08/2024 03:39

Sounds ridiculous for a small child. They need rest too.

tuttuttutt · 15/08/2024 03:41

Are all these extra curricular things a more recent development? I don't remember this ridiculous amount when I went to school. Ds starts school in September and can't imagine subjecting him to all that!

SevenMarshmallows · 15/08/2024 03:42

Her current schedule already sounds exhausting. Adding to it would be crazy, imo. Children need downtime, just as much as adults do, if not more. They need the time and opportunity to explore without constant adult direction, use their imagination, and even experience occasional boredom. They need to learn how to just 'be'.

MapleTreeValley · 15/08/2024 03:54

My kids did / do lots of activities and love it but this sounds like too much!

tattygrl · 15/08/2024 04:07

This looks absolutely nightmarish to me. What's your partner's reasoning for her needing occupying literally every day of the week?

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 15/08/2024 04:23

I know some older primary school kids who thrive on this, but they're the kind with endless energy who won't sleep well without using that energy up. For most kids at any age this is too much. How much does her dad take her fo? Anything or does he just tell you what you should be doing with her and it's all on you?

wickerpram · 15/08/2024 04:36

It sounds ok to me and could easily happen if you have a child who enjoys sport. EG: Swimming should happen regardless. It's great to start a music lessons. Let her choose a sport she likes. Try a new sport she hasn't done before. And then a junior park run on Sunday morning.
See how she gets on and drop one of the weekend ones if it's too much. You'll likely find she'll thrive on it though.

MummytoAAandX · 15/08/2024 07:16

I found when my children started school they were so tired. There's no way they would have coped with all of these activities on top. Also must be costing you a fortune and there's no way she will pursue all of them. Swimming is a great life skill and then we waited to find out what talent/interests our children had and they were the clubs they joined. My DD loves dance. She just did ballet when she was 4 but has added other dance classes as she has got older and wants to pursue this as a career. My son loves football so is starting mini kicks. I think there's loads of things they enjoy which they can do as an activity everyone once on a while but for a child to committ to it and you financially I feel it needs to be something they have a talent for/especially enjoy. Kids enjoy loads of things but to try and do them all as a weekly paid club just isn't feasible. My main worry though would definitely be how tired she will get. The first year of school really takes it out of them.

ChefsKisser · 15/08/2024 07:19

That’s ridiculous for a 5 year old imo. My reception starter does swimming currently, when eldest was in reception she was knackered! She needed down time most days and loved having ad hoc play dates. The idea of my 5 year old doing figure skating makes me chuckle to be fair yours is clearly quite sporty!

TeenToTwenties · 15/08/2024 07:19

Who takes her to all these things?

Snacksgalore · 15/08/2024 07:21

How much down time does she get after 12 hours sleep, basics like, washing and eating, travel, school, daily reading and I’m guessing daily music practice?

Boopbeepbeepboop · 15/08/2024 07:22

How ridiculous, that's an unnecessary amount already

Marmite27 · 15/08/2024 07:23

Mine did similar at the same age.

M. School club
T. Rainbows
W. School club
T. Swimming
S. Gymnastics
S. Junior Parkrun, then church.

The classes were between 45 minutes to an hour, with Parkrun being half an hour and absolutely required to ensure they sat still-ish in church.

NevergonnagiveHughup · 15/08/2024 07:24

Against the grain, but I don’t think that’s a lot of activities. Music is not a sport, so no tremendous energy involved.

Our approach was to fling everything at the kids and see what stuck. There are things they love, and the things they don’t they will give up quickly.

Swimming is a life-skill (unless you’re fab at it) so once our kids could swim competently they gave that up ASAP.

It is harder to start things later on as the kids feel they’re behind everyone else.

I’d roll my eyes as a parent saying they think “little Jenny” would be too tired, or didn’t have time for crafting, with your agenda.

Sorry OP.

MyDogsPaws · 15/08/2024 07:24

does she actually enjoy doing all those activities? Mine do 2 plus swimming at that age and that feels like a lot although I guess if you only have 1 it’s not so bad. Mine would definitely hate to be doing something every day, they actually prefer to be playing at home.

MumChp · 15/08/2024 07:26

NevergonnagiveHughup · 15/08/2024 07:24

Against the grain, but I don’t think that’s a lot of activities. Music is not a sport, so no tremendous energy involved.

Our approach was to fling everything at the kids and see what stuck. There are things they love, and the things they don’t they will give up quickly.

Swimming is a life-skill (unless you’re fab at it) so once our kids could swim competently they gave that up ASAP.

It is harder to start things later on as the kids feel they’re behind everyone else.

I’d roll my eyes as a parent saying they think “little Jenny” would be too tired, or didn’t have time for crafting, with your agenda.

Sorry OP.

Music is the most time consuming here at my child's schedule because she needs to practise. It's not just the 45 min lesson a week.

CurlewKate · 15/08/2024 07:26

If I had my parenting children time over again the one change I would definitely make is to do LESS!

mitogoshi · 15/08/2024 07:27

Far too much, 2-3 is plenty

Needanewname42 · 15/08/2024 07:27

That's bonkers, I think if she really wants to do dance or skating something else needs to go. I'd be tempted to drop one or two of the 3 sports for dance. Some girls seem to really thrive on dance.

My experience with both kids starting school is they were exhausted it's much more full on than nursery.

How many extra activities does DH do? And I'm guessing it's you who needs to facilitate all these activities. And it's exhausting as well running kids around. And often it's your time gone too by the time you drop off, get home, it's time to collect them.

sunsetsandboardwalks · 15/08/2024 07:27

I already think she's doing way too much.

When does she get the chance to come from school and just chill? Even her weekends are booked up

MumChp · 15/08/2024 07:28

Tbh I would do half. She is 5!
2-3 activities are more than enough and I wouldn't pack the weekend.

PointeShoesandTutus · 15/08/2024 07:30

It does seem a lot for reception, but then a lot of children will do after school club every day so it's not totally unusual.

Could you wait til after Christmas to start anything new, as the winter term hits them hardest generally?

And how flexible or willing are you to let her miss a class if she's not feeling it?

My DDs do a lot but we try to keep Sunday as a chill day. I also will let them skip if they're exhausted.

Sockmate123 · 15/08/2024 07:31

My kids do a huge amount of activities, my youngest does more than that list. She's 9. She is very sociable and loves trying new things. I have whittled ours down a little, some sports are seasonal too so I've pulled her out a couple of weeks early so that it doesn't overlap. On that list I wouldn't get rid of Swimming but would look at other stuff, Is the Sat/Sun the same sport? If so can she just do one? I wanted to give my kids loads of choice so then they could find what they liked unfortunately or fortunately 😂my DD liked everything! I have decided though after Christmas I will try drop gymnastics. She doesn't do it competitively.
A good rule of thumb I was told was
Swimming (life skill)
Musical instrument
Team sport
Something creative be it art/dance/drama

The Swimming will go as she gets older then you are left with 3 which i was told is ample. I might add I need to take my own advice on this 🤣🤣

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