7 after school activities for 5 year old

[Groomofthestool]

Please help

My dd is 5 and starting in September will be attending 5 activities per week.
Monday -Swim
Tuesday -Gymnastics
Wednesday -Music
Sat morn- Sport
Sun morn -Sport

I already think this is too much. DH is now pushing to add in figure skating and dance. These are things she loves but she will be exhausted surely?! I mean when does she have time to see family, have a bath, do play dates, do crafts? I don't know how to reason with him. The debate is getting heated. AIBU?

Salt you've totally misunderstood my post! I thought I was clearly saying that I don't think adding the other 2 is. Necessarily a bad thing if the other activities are short because lots of children are at wraparound care until 5pm and often being active there anyway. Eg it's not more than others her age may already be doing.

I'm certainly not against being active. My ds trains 21 hours a week in his sport and represents team GB!

His route to finding that was trying all sorts of different things at a young age and then when he found his "thing" dropping others slowly to manage his training!

Agree. She'll be exhausted from starting school. I would continue swimming but wouldn't add any other ECA until Spring term probably to let them adjust to going to school, then probably only add in 1 to see how she copes and build up from there.

One of mine loves organised activities and had a similar schedule at 5. I wish it tired him out!

But we always keep Sunday free for family time - allows for family visits, day trips, etc.

I think a lot depends on the travel time and length and type of the activities. Some of the sports things my ds does are 45 mins straight after school at school so there's no travel time and he would otherwise be in after school club anyway so it doesn't feel like a big deal.

Who takes her to all these activities and who does the admin? If it is you just don’t do it.
My husband said the same and it was ridiculous. My daughter did loads luckily our school had a range of after school clubs so 3 a week could be art, drama sport etc in the guise of childcare. When she had to give one activity up due to a clash, he wanted me to find somewhere else for her to do it despite the fact the new one was competitive so was a lot more than the one it replaced. NO

Depends on the child and you as a family. What does she want? I have one child that loved structured activities and just wanted more, the second preferred playing at home. I made sure the second had all the opportunities their sibling did but didn’t force it if they didn’t want to. I also only committed to activities within a 10 min journey from home (we are in a city and have a wide range of options close to home)

Is your child starting R or Y1? I did stop activities for both when they started R in anticipation of exhaustion with new routine (and Autumn term is long) then gradually added them on.

I would say keep as you have for now then reassess after end of term to see whether you have capacity to add any on or swap some for the others

My five year old does 7 clubs a week. It’s mostly sessions after school for about 45 minutes in various music / sport activities. On the weekend, she does a short class after breakfast of the same amount of time. I really can’t see the issue? She’s still finished by 4.15 ish every evening and free from about 10am on the weekends and we have lots and lots of play dates, chill time and other adventures. They’re only in term time so holidays all free too. She loves progressing and has performed on stage in some activities. It’s lovely for her.

That's far too much!

She'll be exhausted!

Could she pause one activity to try out another and then choose between them. Wanting her to do five different sports weekly seems like lunacy.

I don't think you can compare organised activities or sports to afterschool.

Lots of afterschool care have a mix of organised activities, crafts, baking and free play / do what they want, build lego, play football, run around on scooters, board games, little TV

I think 7 hours of organised instruction on top of school is a lot for a 5yo.

Mine do one thing a week... I would rather they concentrated on homework, friends, family time and their own free time.

No one needs to be doing that much unless it's their own choice!

I think their willingness/choice is important - but so is the pressure it puts on their parents (often just Mum, unfortunately) to take them there, often wait around and then take them home.

How flexible are the weekend activities? Are they a commitment that has to be attended or causal we got nothing else on you can do X? If they are fixed unless they are finished by 10am then there will be lots of having to decline birthday parties etc.

Yup. Totally too much. DD will be exhausted and tempers will fray.
I presume dh will deal will all the ferrying about to the clubs and deal with the crying tantrums ....
Give it 2 weeks and see if he agrees with you.
Suggest you agree now that he deals with all after school and weekend clubs as not your idea.

What country are you in, OP?

That sounds like way too much to me.

My DC1 did swimming during the week and football and a music class (a group class, reception is too young for lessons - speaking as an ex pro musician) at the weekend in reception. He was so tired just from school - even if they’ve been in nursery before school is different and really takes it out of them.

He’s going into year 2 now and we’ve added some more things - Beavers and a musical instrument - but he still has a few days a week with nothing on. It’s important.

Wow, that sounds excessive to me.

If doing an instrument for music lessons then you need to factor in practising 3-4 times a week minimum, otherwise what’s the point?

Does the Primary school give out homework too? Ours did and it used to take between 30mins to an hour every weekday evening inc. Fridays.

This is a crazy amount. She's 5. When does she have time to be a child, be bored, play at home, do something at home with her parents?
My ds had a friend like this- parents pushed him into 6 activities a week. He was such an high strung child. They also pushed play dates every available second. There are parents who think that pushing their child into every activity going is a sign of ambition. I would say 2 and 3 at a very push would be more than fine.

My DS did 4 activities in primary and upped to 6 at secondary level. They did change activities though. So term 1 trampolining after school on Monday, term 2 might be football on Monday after-school. Term 3 might be cricket after school on Monday. Constant activities were Stage Coach, tag rugby, swimming, multi gym. Other bits we fitted in if time allowed eg. Park Run.

Sounds hellish to me. Mine is 5 and does swimming once a week and we will be adding in one more either football or basketball this year.

Blimey! My 6 yr old (going into yr1) does two activities a week - 30 minutes swimming lesson every Saturday afternoon (all year round) and then a 1.5hrs performing arts class on a Sunday morning (mix of acting, singing, and dance - term time only). I think that's plenty tbh not least because of the cost! My soon-to-be 3 yr old does no organised activities/clubs yet but would like to start swimming lessons for them by the time they turn 4.

Child dependent but my 6 year old did 7 things throughout her last year of preschool and first year of school. We still managed playdates, baths and family activities whilst ferrying her and her equally active older brother about.

Assuming she's been at nursery/preschool, I don't see why school would exhaust her...it certainly didn't mine. They were used to the 9 til 3ish out of the house and year 1 is hardly taxing.

That said, I'd be wary about the hidden costs of dancing and potentially ice skating. The dance school dc2 dances with teaches multiple types of dancing...dc2 does 2 types but would really like to do at least 4. All her dancing friends do at least 2 classes. Factor in shows, costume hire and potentially competitions and the cost mounts up fast.

That is far too much for any child! When does she have time to use her imagination/develop free play skills crucial for development ? When is her time to just "be" outside of all this structure?

Thanks guys for the replies. Interesting to see some say their kids liked lots of activities too.
To answer some questions...
The sport on Saturday and Sunday is ice hockey at 8am, sometimes 7am. I'd say it's quite high energy. I will coach this year and I think she'll enjoy that. She started at age 3.
We live in Canada and it's common here to get on the ice when you are still very young.
Gymnastics and dance are a 25-30 min drive away. The rest are close.
We also have a 3 year old DD in swim and gymnastics at the same time.
DH is saying he will do all the driving, and I'm sure he would.
Apart from obvious issues like DDs tiredness I am also sad about less play time with her sister, less family time etc
Anyway he is offering to cut figure skating but I'm still not keen on six!
I will show him this thread.
Thanks!

Mine did 7 activities at age 5 and she was fine. She has always been used to it, we were doing multiple baby/toddler classes a day since she was tiny. Loads of energy. We are lucky as we have a good range of extracurriculars at her school, so 3 of the activities are run on her school site with no travel needed and she can get home (5 mins walk) with plenty of time for play and relaxation after. We don't need wraparound care and she gets home earlier than kids who are in wraparound care until 6pm every day, and she doesn't need to go to breakfast club so it's still a relatively short day for her.

One of our weekend activities is very early so it allows pretty much the full day for day trips, hanging out with family and friends or parties.

Another thing to consider is how you will fit in both children's hobbies as they grow older. What if DD2 doesn't like the same ones as DD1, or they are at different times due to their ages... can you commit to all that for both of them? (That's for your DH).