to feel quite shocked that DH has PTSD from teaching?

[FunnysInLaJardin]

Its feels pretty awful tbh. He has just today received this diagnosis and has been referred for priority EMDR.

He has taught for 25 years in a secondary school, and got out last year due to clinically diagnosed burn out.

I knew it was bad, but I never realised it was this bad.

How can this be allowed to happen?

I briefly worked as a primary school teacher. The most stressful job I have ever had, and I've had quite a few. Some of the children were challenging, most were okay. Even they were stressed because of SATs etc. But what you've said above is what did it for me.

Not remotely surprised unfortunately. I got PTSD from medicine, I'd expect teaching is similar.

And it was management that was the issue not patients.

Yes it really is a management issue. But from the top. It's not the odd bad headteacher it truly is a system whereby this is really the only outcome.

@saraclara I am so sorry 😔.

Its changed our life drastically from successful career to trying to get a basic grade job. And yes knock on effect on all sorts of things. When you think how many people are trying to leave eteaching/have left teaching and yes the Not Fine In School website is brilliant to understand the kids finding it hard... It's criminal.

I loved teaching and am finding it hard to let go of something I feel is part of who I am hence the low paid adult Ed work. But I need a new career as we need money and that's hard at 45.

I’m still on the meds 10 years after leaving a toxic school. I wish your husband all the best.

@LunaNorth 💐

I’m sorry your DH is going through this, nobody should suffer this way because of their career in teaching!

I have many friends that are teachers, most are miserable and hate it. They are also very worried their jobs will become even more difficult when VAT comes in and there is an influx of children. Nobody wants to be a teacher anymore and I can’t see that changing. I hope you’re DH is on the way to recovery.

@saraclara I am so sorry.

I was a teacher for 20 years. Escaped 16 years ago. I still get that anxiety, feeling unsettled,
' teatime of the soul' type feeling when we get into August. I was Primary. My best friend works 3 days a fortnight in a school I worked in. The lunchtime supervisors will no longer work unless there is a teacher on duty in the building whilst the children are eating and another on duty outside as the behaviour of the children ( 4 to 7 yrs !!!!) is so appalling.

Watching the news and seeing the poor behaviour of kids, but also 18/19 year olds really should make people think about what these people are like in school. They don’t magically transform into something else in the classroom. I have been shouted at and sworn at but thankfully not physically attacked. It’s very disheartening going into a lesson thinking you just want it to be over asap.

it can be the parents though - from failing to discipline and raise their child effectively to know how to behave, to questioning every decision a teacher makes. Parent WhatsApp groups where gossip is shared about teachers and parents failing to support the school.

Sorry to hear about your husband's situation. Teaching career should not lead to PTSD but in this country, youngsters are not taught to respect their elders. It's a failure of society. Teaching is supposed to be a highly rewarding job but sadly teachers are completely disempowered. Who would want to be a teacher with such high work load, poor salary and systemic abuse?

Sorry to hear about your husband, but absolutely not surprised at all. When I took early retirement ten years ago, things were bad - particularly because of bullying, unrealistic and incompetent SLT rather than the kids. I can only imagine how bad things have become in that time, especially in secondary - education as it is now structured is no longer fit for purpose for these teens. It needs wholesale reform before it implodes - what happens when teachers are no longer prepared to put up with the immense continued stress? I remember the feelings of doom on the first inset day in September - when all those demands were trotted out by SLT - usually not things that actually benefited the students either.

On a side note, I got out before it affected me very badly. Sadly my husband was very similar to your dear husband, although he was a social worker. Not diagnosed as such, but was made ill due to the demands of the job. He took a massive pension hit and got out at 57. No one should have to end a long, previously very successful career in this way. Thankfully it's all in the past and he is very happy, eventually, in his retirement. It shouldn't be like this to be a public servant. Sympathies OP.

I'm really struggling to understand why people are staying in a job that is that bad that it's causing mental health problems. I suffer from what technically should be cptsd but I'm a young female so I got given the bpd/eupd diagnosis instead but it was from csa which went on for years until I was luckily taken into care. But obviously as I child i couldn't get out of the situation so didn't have a choice. But as an adult I choose what I want to do. If I was a teacher and didn't like it I'd change schools and if I still didn't like that id change jobs. I don't understand the it's ruining my life and making me miserable but I'm not going to do anything to change it.

I'm so sorry to hear that, but it's not surprising unfortunately. I don't think it helps that we've become such a nationally vilified profession; any time teachers take action for better working conditions we hear "but you get lots of holidays", "what about INSET days". "you knew it was hard when you applied".

Our kids went to a successful, Ofsted winning, leafy comp - not many of their friends have fond memories of school. It was a performance-driven, jumping through hoops. soulless hellhole, driven by a HT who liked to get awards for everything - they were even competitive about mental health - shame the ethos of the school couldn't follow through on the caring - even though they did caring better than anyone else (apparently). I'm not surprised teachers are struggling - but the pupils aren't having much fun either.

Have a skim read of this recent heartbreaking thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5099002-to-think-droves-of-teachers-will-make-the-decision-by-husband-made-today-to-leave

I’m shocked actually that anyone’s surprised at the OP’s husband’s experience and I hope he recovers soon.

Posting very similar sentiments here to what I posted on that thread: it is unreal to me that parents on here are denigrated for choosing to remove their children from the environments described here, and put them in private education where, in our experience, they can learn in calm, orderly, friendly and happy surroundings. I feel very sad that more parents aren’t able to make the choice (and without wanting to derail the thread, Labour’s policy change is only going to make this worse) but we had the choice, made it and our children are thriving. Threads like these reinforce that decision, especially on the (very frequent) days when I massively wobble about the cost of it all.

My son was in an oversubscribed local state school and was beaten up, threatened with rape and then forced into a ‘restorative justice’ meeting with the perpetrator, in order to understand whether he might have done something to upset him - all in his first term in year 7. When I went into the school on a professional basis to deliver some coaching, I was knocked to the ground by older kids fighting in the corridor and again, school asked me if there was more I could have done to prevent this happening.

Best wishes to your husband OP, there is a fabulous career outside of the classroom waiting for him.

You become pigeon-holed into the job very quickly tbh. Also, when you live your life in terms you start to say- 'oh I'll just stay through this exam season and see my Yr 11s through' or 'things might get easier after Christmas, autumn term is the hardest'.

Also not surprised and I hope he is okay. I’m a teacher and I work part time because I completely burnt out with stress last time I worked full time teaching. I need term time hours for my own children, so this compromise just about keeps my sanity intact, but it’s more of a ‘just keep swimming’ mentality at times! Most of my colleagues are part time for similar reasons, only the young and enthusiastic without children are full time on my department! It is very stressful and pressured at times.

I’m so sorry to hear about your Husband OP, and I really hope he will be ok - but I’m not at all surprised.

I’ve just left my teaching career, as it has completely destroyed my mental health over the years, and this year has been one of the worst years in the profession for me. I was having multiple daily panic attacks while stood in front of my classes trying to teach and I felt as though my mind and body were completely shutting down. There were many other physical, as well as mental health symptoms too.

In addition to the above, there is zero flexibility in teaching, and I didn’t feel a part of my children’s lives. I spent my whole time feeling guilty, and not good enough, which is not good when you’re massively struggling with your mental health. I could never do the school run, and attend shows and things that were going on during the school day. The majority of women I know have had such flexibility in their lives since the lockdowns, and it has greatly benefitted them and their families. They are able to do the school runs, and adapt their schedule to enable attendance at school performances for example - as well as hybrid working or working solely from home.

I said to someone recently, if I was offered a million pounds to go back to classroom teaching I wouldn't even consider it. It's an appalling job.

Most recently we have been slated for being added to the blue light discount card and accused of wrecking it for the more deserving people who rightfully hold one.

@User79853257976 it depends on the school, in my old secondary there were a number of teachers who were physically attacked (one actually got pepper sprayed). One dragged to the ground by the hair and beaten. I've been pushed and broken up multiple fights in which I caught stray blows as well.

You're right though, it shouldn't be any older than toddlers who don't yet know better that are hitting.

Yes I saw all the criticism over this. I don't know when the tide turned to be honest, when did we stop being seen as normal people just doing a job and trying our best??

Thank you @Philandbill and @FriendlyRobin . It was an awful time. He suffered so much.

Teachers do Leave hence a big shortage of teachers and we do make a fuss, strikes last year were about pay AND conditions.