How many days a week is it acceptable to see your partner?

[memphine]

I feel I may be being needy, would love some takes.

DP has made it clear he wants marriage and children with me eventually.

We live a mile away from each other, his work place is a 3 minute drive away from my home. He work 10-7 Monday-Friday. Has no children, or other commitments. He often continues working once he gets home, but has done this from my home plenty of times.

He sees his friends Saturday evenings and Sunday day time/evenings. I have DS aged 5, who usually gets into my bed around 2am so DP doesn't stay over on the nights I have him which is 5/7.

At the moment, I am always home and available when he finishes work. DS has gone to stay with his dad for two weeks.

What do you feel would be a normal/expected amount of time to spend with one another?

You've had on and off relationship. This already sounds pretty unhealthy.
He is working until 7pm and then some more in the evenings. I'd imagine he would be pretty knackered most nights. When my boyfriend and I lived separately, we probably saw each other once or twice a week and every other weekend. I worked till 6 and he would finish at 2-3pm most days. I remember him being a bit miffed that I wouldn't come over more often but I was just too knackered to manage.
Do you work?

This is the point I was making. DP would probably like to stay over during the week sometimes but he cant.

I have met them several times.

I do work

This is the point I was making. DP would probably like to stay over during the week sometimes but he cant.

Tonight for instance, he could stay over (DS isn't here) but he isn't.

It’s because he doesn’t want to

Has he said why?

Ok, well then you must understand that sometimes energy after work may not stretch enough to travel to someone's house for dinner. Especially, if you then have to do more work at home.
As I said, though, these "on and off" relationships already sound problematic so there is probably more stuff behind the scenes that you are not telling us.

Why can't he see you sometimes on a Saturday and Sunday?

Because he doesn't want to?

Just get rid, @memphine

Find someone who loves you and wants to be with you

Has he said why?

Because he has work to do on his laptop and wants an early night to go to the gym in the morning.

But he can (and does) have early nights here. And has done work from here many times too.

I suspect he just is conditioned to not staying over during the week as thats the "norm". I reckon he's either annoyed he cant normally stay during the week cos he cant share a bed with you (so isn't going to come running the second the coast is clear), or hes genuinely just not that into you.

If your child is away for the next 2 weeks, you are into each other, but usually only see each other a limited amount due to your child then I reckon in the two weeks you are child free a couple of extra dates nights and sleepovers should be on the cards. You should make sure you enjoy your free time aside from that too though whether that's seeing friends or just treating yourself and having the house to yourself

Honestly op, if a man likes you he will be over any chance he can get.

This man is not matching your energy, don't you want more than this?

Do you ever stay at his?

Frankly, I would say if your DS is away for 2 weeks, then yes, I'd expect whatever your normal schedule is to ramp up at least a little over this time.

I also fin it very odd that you never see him on weekends except possibly on Saturday mornings?

Have you met his family? Are you invited to family events? And when last did you see these friends of his? Because honestly, this doesn't sound like a terribly serious relationship to me.

Of course he’s second place to her child. Imagine the MN outrage if she even hinted at putting a new partner before her child! Jeez 🙄 single mothers can’t win.

On and off for how long?
He's using you for sex when he's bored.
There are no excuses. He's just not that into you. You and your son can do better than this. Come on OP, raise your standards.

Why have you been exposing your son to this on/off relationship since infancy?

There's no reason he needs to know this man. It'll just be more trauma when the relationship fizzles out.

You don't see one another on weekends, don't have a mutual social life, don't seem to communicate ... i would call this casual FWB at most. Why not get out there and find a man who is more enthusiastic?

I agree with this. I'm sorry it isn't working out as you might've hoped.

You're excluded from his social life. He won't accommodate DS. He won't disrupt his routine to see you. You're an afterthought, a convenience at best.

Be less convenient.

Obviously her child comes first in life
But I'm on about her bed

Thank you for your responses. He wants to stay over tomorrow, I've said I'll let him know.

He usually stays Thursday night, Friday night and then goes home Saturday afternoon or evening.

"DP has made it clear he wants marriage and children with me eventually."
Eventually? How long are you going to let him treat you like this before he says he actually wants to settle down?
For you and your son, please go and find someone that wants to be with you. You're his second option (if not, 3rd/4th).

Thank you for your responses. He wants to stay over tomorrow, I've said I'll let him know.

Why do you have to "let him know" about tomorrow? Do you already have plans? Not that arsed about him staying? or are you engaging in some weird revenge for his apparent lack of interest. If its the latter, no wonder this relationship is on/off. Frankly, it sounds doomed.

I agree with this. You've got to look at their actions. If he wanted to, he would.

Also on/off doesn't sound too good either. I think you can do better. Be with someone that doesn't make you overthink about if they are j to you.