To just be not able to love DH anymore.

[BantamGrey]

He’s always been slightly emotionally immature, but I guess it doesn’t show as badly until you actually are living real life with kids, work and stress.

I found out I was pregnant a couple of months ago in the middle of our youngest going through a really bad sleep regression etc, and said I genuinely don’t want to do this - mentally and physically it’s too much. He said terminate but you won’t get another chance in the future.

He promised he’d be helpful, he knows how tough pregnancy is, told me he’d pick up the slack but nope - HG etc have made this so so hard and all I’ve got called is a lazy rubbish wife. I’m still struggling on maybe 1-2 hours of solid sleep a night and I’m trying to do everything perfect and spotless so I’m not a lazy wife but I’m broken now.

He wonders why I never have a laugh etc but I just don’t like him anymore. He’s got a cold today and is saying see you’ve not given me any special treatment so why would I care if you’re pregnant.

I just look at him in a different way now.

He's a shit husband and father. If you wasn't so far along I would have suggested an abortion. I think you need to end the marriage. I don't think he'll add anything to your life than stress and extra workload. Finish with him and move forward with the kids.

Boot him out. He's revolting.

Leave. What’s the point of him?

You may or may not want to get the birth out of the way first but this is no way to live.

Do you work?

How old is your baby op?

No, he says if I go to work he will be a SAHP. But obviously as he’s the higher earner I’ve not been able to do that.

11 months.

I just tried to speak to him about how he’s making me feel but just got hit with ‘how do I think I’m making him feel with moaning about my pregnancy and self all of the time, nobody cares’

I just went to fold laundry and he’s just come over and said ‘just to make it clear, we are done, just so you know’ and ‘go cry about it’

So I guess that’ll be that.

He sounds fucking vile!! Wouldn’t blame you at all for leaving him. What the hell is wrong with these men? They detest their partner so much, the hatred really comes out when she pregnant. Awful.

In my case I suspect a man who tried to use a wife and children as a cover up for what he really wants, however the frustration is getting too much. I have reasons to believe that he’s this way inclined and why he hates me, and all women so much.

All I ever hear is ‘women are cheap’ ‘women are all cheats’ it’s just constant. Can’t even watch a programme about a woman being abused without him making it about how it was her fault.

@BantamGrey

No, he says if I go to work he will be a SAHP. But obviously as he’s the higher earner I’ve not been able to do that.

Don’t agree to him being SAHP whatever you do. He will then be in a strong position to remain in the home and be the primary caregiver if you split which you don’t want.

If he’s working he will have to support you in paying for childcare (assuming you don’t have family who can do that). You really need to be working. Have you worked recently? Maybe get this out of the way but you need a game plan here.

Omg leave him he’s absolutely vile

He sounds like a big kid.

I'm sorry HG is bloody awful. I'm three months and have it.

Im trying to juggle work and my son. My house has became a mess but my DP has been so supportive. Yours sounds utterly vile, I'd be making an exit plan . Do you have a support network around you if you leave? Is the house in both your names?

Do you mean you think he's gay?? That's a big thing. 100% leave him and don't mention this, it sounds like he'd turn violent.

I think you need support OP, I think you need to speak to woman’s aid. You can’t stay in this relationship.

Yes. Sadly I do think that. He fits a lot of boxes and the hatred for women, plus the activities he enjoys being done to him.

Thankfully I’ve got a great support system around me. I know I’ll be supported well, just rubbish isn’t it when you realize it is done.

Oh dear
Get rid. Why did you have a baby with him in the first place let alone risk getting pregnant with a 2nd?! He sounds hideous.

Kick him out and get every penny possible out of him. He sounds vile.

Don't cry. He's doing you a favour. He's an abusive prick. Do you own the home or rent? Do you have anywhere you can go with DC? I think you need to talk to woman's aid while he's at work. Abusive men tend to escalate during pregnancy and when children are small because you are at your most vulnerable. You also might want to secure your important paperwork and things that are special to you move them slowly out of the house.

Please start a fact finding journey.
Start with Women’s Aid.
Husband? Really? He’s not even a friend to you.

I am so sorry to hear your story whilst in this fragile state of mind. He’s just looking for excuses to get out. “We’re done” he said? So be it Buster! Pack your bag and leave Mr Bully.

I don't think sexuality and misogyny are related. I do think your husband is vile and misogynistic. Time to leave, OP. He's clearly going to be no use whatsoever with your pregnancy or babies, so you may as well leave now.

Thankfully it’s my house that I own. No mortgage.

I know it's hard to see it when you're pregnant and exhausted and beaten down by his constant bullying...but you are going to feel SO much better once you're free of him. Parenting two children will be less overwhelming than you think, when you aren't having your energy and your confidence sapped by a vicious misogynist who treats you like a domestic appliance. Please, please get shot of him before the baby comes