To just be not able to love DH anymore.

[BantamGrey]

He’s always been slightly emotionally immature, but I guess it doesn’t show as badly until you actually are living real life with kids, work and stress.

I found out I was pregnant a couple of months ago in the middle of our youngest going through a really bad sleep regression etc, and said I genuinely don’t want to do this - mentally and physically it’s too much. He said terminate but you won’t get another chance in the future.

He promised he’d be helpful, he knows how tough pregnancy is, told me he’d pick up the slack but nope - HG etc have made this so so hard and all I’ve got called is a lazy rubbish wife. I’m still struggling on maybe 1-2 hours of solid sleep a night and I’m trying to do everything perfect and spotless so I’m not a lazy wife but I’m broken now.

He wonders why I never have a laugh etc but I just don’t like him anymore. He’s got a cold today and is saying see you’ve not given me any special treatment so why would I care if you’re pregnant.

I just look at him in a different way now.

Now financially due to sad losses, I have been sat on a fair amount for a while. I have family in France and was thinking about giving DH ‘notice’ as such and heading for an extended holiday during that time frame.

Is he actually your husband and are you in the UK?

Do you really want to go down this lane OP? I would say that the majority of men who hate women have an inferiority complex and come from homes where misogynic views were the norm.
You don't really need to know why he is the way he is in order to know that his behaviour is out of line and that you and your DC deserve better. What kind of father is he in saying all women are shit? Damaging whether your DC is a boy or a girl. You can't let them grow up with a father like that.

If you are married and in UK he may well be entitled to half the house and any other assets.

Did you take legal advice before marrying this piece of 💩

Interestingly I read something about marriage becoming void if person had a STD at time of marriage. He did as he caught one miraculously.

He is not emotionally immature, he is emotionally abusive. I'm sure he knows exactly what he is doing, wearing you down so he can do whatever he likes and still keep you.
You are not unreasonable, it's actually great that you have realised you don't love him and that will make moving on easier.
There are charities out there and the benefits system, don't feel any shame and drawing on that to get out of this situation and to get yourself back on your feet and living a free and independent life from the nasty piece of work.
I personally think leaving during pregnancy may be easier, as tough as pregnancy is so is the newborn stage and you will be very vulnerable. He could lead you to having a mental health crisis and you may feel less able to leave and be stuck in this situation for a long time.

Just take some legal advice.

@BantamGrey - please take proper legal
advice. My understanding is that if it’s a short marriage, this will be reflected in the split of assets. He sounds horrible though and he clearly hates women so you’re definitely better off without him.

I am going to seek legal advice. I am not even overly bothered about sharing assets, if that gives me a clean slate so be it. Money can replenish, my mental health not so much!

Really recommend you read Lundy Bancroft “Why Does He Do That?”

Yes, your H is abusive. Seek legal advice and speak to women’s aid. No way on earth I would leave him in the house you paid for and go abroad while he moves out - I would be much too concerned that he won’t move out/will change locks/will damage stuff etc etc just to hurt you.

I would also terminate this pregnancy if there is still time and you can face it. Being a single parent to one child is doable. Two children makes it much, MUCH harder.

I mean this is a pretty weird view. But whether he's gay or not, he sounds like a horrible man and a shit husband, so I'd suggest abortion and leave him.

Another weird comment. If you weren't pregnant, I'd be asking if you were drunk.

Just a little warning OP, he thinks you're trapped because of your circumstances so as much as he's been the one to say it's done he may flip a switch once you start taking action. He could either try and get your forgiveness or become even more horrible. Make sure to father any evidence on finances/bills/pensions etc without him knowing and trying to just grey rock in the meantime xxx

Completely agree.

Just because he has the emotional intelligence and regulation of a Neanderthal doesn’t mean he’s gay, nor does hating women. It’s just a sign of insecurity, immaturity and not being well rounded.

What he is saying to you is not okay or becoming of someone that wants to be in a committed supportive relationship. Don’t waste your breath or energy arguing with him over it because you just can’t change someone’s character. Accept he is the way he is, don’t assume he has any care or remorse for the things he says as he most likely makes up a fairytale where it’s justified.

Bin him off and move on, that kind of situation won’t improve.

Definitely don't give him the satisfaction of crying over him! Ask him when he's packing his bags, that'll put the bastard on the back foot.

No tears will be shed here, I’ve done enough crying. I am putting my eggs in the right baskets, sod him. He’s gone to his mums already!

That's good. Leave the key in the door lock so he can't unlock it.l or put the chain on.

So sorry you're unwell. Well done for getting rid!

You are stronger than you think op !!!
you are well rid

Well my darling, the one good thing here is, he's making it manifestly obvious you aren't losing any prince. Better days lie ahead, wishing you all the very best. 🌷

Oh love, Get. Rid.

He hates women and yet he runs to his mother - what a prick he is

I know it feels rubbish but try to look at it this way - how awful would it be to stay with someone who is so vile and nasty to you when you're pregnant and vulnerable? You are getting your life back and once you've split, you won't have to share your home and bed with an abusive arsehole. Get yourself to a solicitor ASAP and start divorce proceedings. I'm glad you've got support around you, take care of yourself lovely 💐

If you came into the marriage with the asset (house) and he's the higher earner I think you'd have a good chance of keeping it, def see a lawyer asap.

If he’s gone to his Mum’s send his stuff round there and change the locks @BantamGrey