To say no to 16year olds flying alone

[Dreamholidaynot]

To America!

I have a set of twins that turned 16 last week. Their dad is American but lived in the UK most of his life, returned home to New York about 6 years ago when we divorced.

His birthday is at the end of the month so he would like to give them a fabulous holiday in New York for about 8 days starting next week. He has an amazing itinerary with every day packed which is awesome.

The problem is, he wants them to travel on their own from London to JFK. They've travelled to the US and other places with me, never on their own and I think it's too much for them to do! The whole airport palaver, 13hr flight, immigration, etc They have an visa waiver from when we traveled there last year but it was still a stressful journey. What if something happens in the way? Cancellations, turbulence, 'baddies'? I'm terrified but I don't want to ruin their lives because of my own anxiety.

I know 16year olds can travel on their own. My son's best friend just returned from France with another friend and I hear this is the age they do this on their own. I just can't imagine it. My ex feels they are more than capable and I'm 'restricting their growth'. He traveled a lot from a young age with the army. He also travels at very short notice due to his work but I usually need more time to prepare for things like this.

Am I being unreasonable to say no to this journey. Would you let your own 16yr old travel without a parent or guardian that far away?

Please be kind, I've posted here because I'm desperate for some real opinions but already feeling fragile because my son is already sulking at me and I the ex pressing me. Time is of the essence if they are going.

Thank you

But even if they are US citizens so long as immigration don’t know that then there will be no problem.

US state dept says they are not eligible for a visa

• ”You must enter and leave the United States on your U.S. passport. You are not allowed to enter on your foreign passport, because U.S. law requires all U.S. citizens to enter and depart the U.S. on a valid U.S. passport. U.S. citizens are not eligible for a U.S. visa.
• If your child is a citizen of the United States, they are not eligible for a U.S. visa. This is true even if you have not taken steps to document them as a U.S. citizen. If you want to enter or depart the United States with your child who is a U.S. citizen, you must obtain a U.S. passport for your child…”

Then they will need to apply if they wanted to live and work in America. For a short visit all they will need is a short visit visa?

Well yeah, but it’s a risk is it not? Going to visit their American Dad alone and not on US passports? It’s going to raise a red flag moreso than two Brit DC on holiday with British mum.

and the 16yo will have to face that alone….if they are caught.

My 10yo DS flew to Newark and back by himself this summer. No problem. absolutely loved it. Escorted by airline staff on each end, had given him a phone, picked up by grandparents. A great developmental (and fun!) experience.

They are US citizens and are not eligible for any U.S. visa. If they wanted to go live, work, study they would need no visa. No application. They can just go. They should have US passports.

@Dreamholidaynot

Gosh, they should go! What a marvellous opportunity for them!

They will have so much to tell you about when they get home!

I do understand your anxieties though.

There's a company called Airport Angels which can help people at airports.

Would you feel happier if you had an arrangement with them?

https://www.airportangels.net/individual-passengers-smaller-groups/

That’s the point I’m trying to make. But I was told I was making an issue where there wasn’t one. My point was that I suspected the kids may be US citizens and would have to enter the US on a US passport, as I do.

I travelled alone from US to here, got on a train to Cambridge, then took a taxi to final destination at 14. Only confusing bit was what platform for the train.
I was also very tall for my age and flatly refused to join the 'unaccompanied minors' group with the flight attendant - but there were a few really young kids with her.
Let them go they will be fine!

@viques Flight call??? At T5 Heathrow you look on a big departures board. No one hears a flight call.

@Dreamholidaynot Obviously you can go to bag drop but you can check in in advance. I have always found BA very helpful when my DDs flew as minors. I suspect DD was bumped up to business because of seating arrangements. They always made cabin staff aware of minors and they were handy for any issue. Although your DC are adults, I would still take them to bag drop and definitely try and get seats near staff. Speak to BA if need be as you are booking so late. They might not have much choice left but no harm in asking.

Glad you are letting them go. Mine flew to Texas at 8 and 9 using the BA assistance scheme. They loved it,
I dropped them off at the airport, they were very diligent about checking all the paperwork, they were then taken to a lounge with a play area, escorted onto the flight, given entertainment packs on board, loads of attention, and met at the other end by their dad. They loved the whole thing.
They were constantly supervised and it's not like they can go missing on a plane.
They still talk about the experience as adults and said it was fantastic.

Me too! The kids are most probably US citizens and need US passports to enter/leave the US.

I also have to us mine to go to the US. I was born and raised in U.K., spent all my working life here except for 3yrs on a fixed term contract job in the US.

My 16 year old flew to Australia on her own it's absolutely fine and there are two of them. Am struggling to see the issue.

(11yo)

I think that unless people are familiar with the US’s very strict rules on such matters, they just don’t get it!

It is fine for a UK citizen to enter the UK on a foreign passport but the same is not true of the US. They might just get a slapped wrist at Kennedy but they may also be banned from entering.

Check with the airline if they can fly as unaccompanied minors.
Some airlines no longer offer this service since Covid,
you have to be min 14 to fly alone ( check with airline ).
In that case they are young flyers , some form might have to be filled out ( might not be case for 16 year olds ) plus one parent's passport photocopy , which stays with them.
They do everything alone , security , passport control etc.
You can ask
airport staff to seat them towards back
of plane near galley on an aisle so
crew are aware and usually keep an eye on them.
If airlines accept them
as unaccompanied minors ( think e.g Delta airlines still does ) there will be a fee and paperwork to
fill
out at the airport.
Make sure they have money/phone and a back up
plan B in case person meeting them in JFK is running late/stuck in traffic.
They'll
be fine and it's a good life skill to learn.
Don't forget travel insurance !!!!

Let them go. There's two of them and it's a direct flight with no connections.

I was with you when I read the title because I thought you meant they would be piloting the plane!

Unless they are very immature or have challenging needs, 16 should be fine to fly alone - plus they have each other.

Of course let them go. Yes, I would and I have let my children travel alone, and my daughter is blind. They are very well looked after. Make sure you have the necessary paperwork done before they go.

@Peony15 At BA they are adults at 16. 14-15 are minors. 16 they just fly. That’s reasonable. You can do what I suggested and I’ve found BA reasonable. Delta info is USA based. Parent can go to boarding gate it says. Not here. So I would read this carefully. It’s not all applicable here in the uk.

If it were me I’d definitely let them go and I’m terrible at overthinking, over planning and I worry about every possible scenario and constantly remind Myself that this is what I’ve been bringing them up for - to become independent and enjoy life. They’ll thank you for it and you’ll get so much happiness from seeing them manage without you.

As PP have said, if they are entitled to US citizenship they should have a CRBA and a US passport. This requires a ton of paperwork, an in-person appointment at the consulate (appointments are like gold dust) and then a three-week minimum delay if everything is in order. Too late for this trip but best to think about it before they get any older.

If that's the case then the op better make an appointment at the U.S Embassy and get them U.S passports.

Consular Report of Birth Abroad (CRBA) and first U.S. passport - U.S. Embassy & Consulates in the United Kingdom (usembassy.gov)

Absolutely fine for them to fly on their own. Flying is the easiest mode of transport solo, you are literally told what to do and sign-posted at every step. And they aren’t even solo, they’re together!

My 14 year old flew on her own last week and she’ll be flying back on her own next week. The only issue was how much she spent of her “emergency” money in duty-free!

Thats what I said.

I wasn't being sarcastic. I genuinely mean well done for taking things on board. A lot of aibu posters don't.