To think people at work shouldn't ask 'what happened to your hand?'

[StarShineHello]

Currently have a bandage on my hand due to a skin infection. I have bad eczema which got infected and in a very bad state.

I've had to wrap it up because it's just so gross to see.

Today five different people have asked me what's wrong with my hand.

I don't want to explain my medical issues to strangers.

I understand there's a level of small talk in the bank/shop/post office but to ask someone a medical question just seems rude? It was every shop I went in.

And I just lied and said I burnt myself because I didn't want to go into details about infected skin and my eczema.

AIBU to think people in general shouldn't ask things like that and especially in a professional capacity? It's common sense to not point out something 'wrong' with a customer??

They are not helping though... they are being nosey.
OP is wearing a bandage and treating her infection herself.

They are only showing an interest.

I had this when I had my tenosynivitis corrected. I had a massive surgical size wrapping around my hand and wrist for three days and was then told to reduce the bandage but to keep the stitches and dressing covered. When asked I took great delight in seeing the grossed out looks on peoples faces and the wish that they never asked when I told them and that I was awake for the whole procedure and even watched the surgeon doing it and seeing how my tendons work. Just invent something gross so people wish they never asked

A.k.a being nosey

I was very ill with blood poisoning recently. It was very obvious I had been very ill, I was yellow where I wasn't covered in bruises or bandages from the pustules.

Not one single person asked what was wrong with me and I felt a bit neglected tbh. Noone can ever win.

When my friend broke her arm she told everyone it was due to excessive masterbation 🤣

It's just natural curiosity.

You may as well expect people to stop talking about the weather.

It's humans being humans.

A.k.a being nosey

AKA being paranoid and assuming everyone has your low standard, because you would not show concern and interest because you are just nosey.

Meanwhile normal nice people are different.

@wombat15 never offended a submit person by being kind!

*single

YABU. If your hand with a nasty rash was on show it would be bad manners to ask about it, but if it’s covered with a bandage I don’t see any problem at all. You see it as people being nosy, but I see it as people showing friendly concern.

I’d ask out of concern. I wouldn’t want you to do anything at work to further injure it.

I'd feel ignorant if I never asked someone with an obvious injury what happened and if they were OK, just to show I care.

It is fine to ask someone if they are okay or if they need any help but why would you need to know what happened? If they are happy to tell you they will volunteer the information.

You aren't being kind when you ask people nosey questions.

I absolutely would show concern and if I worked with someone and ask them if they need any help. That is very different to asking people "what happened". If people want to tell you stuff they will in my experience.

I think you may be a bit defensive, not necessarily unreasonable... as an empath I can often sense people's energy, mood, pain, etc. I would definately ask. I would not just walk up to someone out of the blue, but if I were interacting with that person in any way, I would definitely ask and would not be offended if someone asked me. I think you might be a bit self concious about your eczema, many folks are. My granddaughter has severe bouts and is very self concious, especially when asked about it. I think people are just being friendly and compassionate. I think your solution is a good one. Just a simple response is polite and you do not need to engage further. I hope the infection wasn't too bad. It's good to know that there are folks out there who still care enough to ask. 🙂

Do you consider yourself ‘normal nice people’?

Wombat15: “I am sure the people who ask me why I have a walking stick would also argue that they are not enquiring about a medical condition either but they are in effect. It is nosy and unnecessary.”

You: “Why do you use a walking stick out of interest”

If you mean work as in colleagues then it’s more than likely out of curiosity or care - I personally wouldn’t ask unless it was someone I was close with as I’d feel I was being nosey otherwise. People are entitled and feel they can just ask what they want! It might seem like ‘curiosity’ but what business is it of anyone’s and for all anyone knows it could be traumatic / triggering to speak about it.

If you mean you’re going to professional places and those working there are asking you - not being a snowflake but i’d honestly say this is wrong and not best practice. There's other ways of showing care than needing to know what specifically happened.

@Bellsandthistle oh give over!

i got a black eye soon after starting a big and responsible job in my late 20s, my first big job in the city, and my three-year-old accidentally head butted me when he sat up in bed to kiss me goodnight after his story. everyone at work studiously ignored the black eye and i was dying to tell them as i was sure they thought i had been subjected to domestic abuse. it was really horrible and awkward. i don’t know what the right response is though. it was super visible

@wombat15 and @Bellsandthistle does the amount (majority) of people saying it's out of care, not make you think you're wrong?

I get you judge people by your standards and you'd ask out of nosiness, but not everyone is like you. The majority clearly are not.

@dontstopmenowimhavingagoodtime When someone specifically says they find it nosey and unnecessary why would you immediately do it anyway? The only reason could be you are intending to be rude and provoke a reaction.

So you asked me "why do you use a walking stick out of interest" because you care and not because you are nosey? 😂.

I do think it mostly comes from a place of caring does depend who it is though doesn't it really, some folk are darn right gossipy and what they don't know will make up & spread around.
I would say something silly to throw them off like "I got bitten by a goldfish" or

"I had my gang tattoo removed" Then just walk away without saying anything else 🤣

It's a "joke" I didn't really think wombat would tell me and quite honestly why would I have any interest in it?

My sense of humour is clearly too dry for you.

I'd ask a friend, colleague etc because I care, not because I'm nosey.

Do I care about wombat? Nope, not at all! 🤷‍♀️!

Untold people have said it's from a place of care, but no she keeps banging on about is nosey!

Why not think, maybe they are all right and I'm in the minority and I'm wrong?