to say that newborns have not read the safer sleep guidelines?

[Lultasway]

My 3 week old baby does not seem to understand that he should be sleeping feet to foot flat on his back in his cot. He would much rather sleep all scrunched up on his tummy on my chest. Nor will he sleep next to me in a safe co sleeping set up - he wants to be on me.

My eldest son (who is much older) used to sleep in any number of places I now understand are deemed unsafe including his car seat, bouncer etc. My DD who is 8 used to sleep brilliantly in her sleepyhead but apparently those are also no longer deemed safe. Swaddles - apparently also no longer deemed safe according to my midwife.

AIBU in thinking surely there can't be many babies happy to sleep flat on their backs alone in a cot as newborns?!

When mine were babies the guidance WAS to put them o their tummies.
Health care professionals seem to have black-holed this.

Mine wanted to be on their backs fortunnately.

I think there is a challenge of practicality with the guidelines. But, you should know them and know where you’re willing to make compromises. Sleep is also important and the safe sleep guidance has to be balanced with the risks of doing something stupid with sleep deprivation. Control what you can and minimise the risks where you can’t follow.

So for me, sofa sleeping felt the absolute riskiest for tiny babies and we’d try hard not to fall asleep with one on our chest on the sofa but my husband did it a few times during the day. With my first sleepyheads weren’t advised against like they were with my second and we had quite a dilemma about whether to use one with my second as it saved my sanity with my first.

The other bit that became impractical was always being in the room for sleep. I largely did it with my first and I’m not sure that it was entirely healthy for my own wellbeing but that was far too hard to follow with my second as she needed to be in a dark room by 7 or she’d scream herself into a frenzy for 3 hours. I needed to be sorting out my older one as well. Similarly for naps, she needed darkness and silence which weren’t compatible with having a loud toddler in the same room. She slept overnight in the same room as per the guidance but I couldn’t follow the guidance to the letter.

I spoke to my HV and they said that they prefer their tummy's let them do it so we did

Mine spent about 30 minutes total sleeping in his expensive next-to-me, split across 100 different attempts. We tried and tried. What he liked was to sleep on his side with hands attached to my boob and feet / knees on my tummy. With a thin blanket, it just about met safe sleep guidelines. Once he could roll, he took to sleeping on his tummy or occasionally swapping his side and backing into me instead for full body contact. Even napping in the pram he would roll on his side. At about 18 months old, he decided finally to start sleeping on his back.

I think it was reflux, but nothing really helped that we found. His daddy was always tolerated for a full contact chest nap and occasionally for a side sleep nap, but the kid knew what he liked. Still more "huggy" than some of his little mates, but otherwise fine.

I'm a single parent now, too and DD is four weeks old. She sleeps fine during the day, usually in the pushchair outside in the front garden. Sometimes, she'll sleep in the Sleepyhead on the sofa. We used it for DS when he was a baby and he loved it. She actually sleeps really well during the day.
At night, she will sometimes stay asleep in the Next to me. I have her fall asleep on me and then transfer her into the cot. She prefers sleeping next to me or with my arm around her and her head on my boob, though. Usually, we get about 4 hours before she needs another feed and I've started feeding lying down straight away this time. (So much better than DS, who woke up every 20 minutes...until we started co-sleeping. He's a brilliant sleeper now and could sleep through almost anything.)

The medical profession is beset with research backed best safe practices, at all stages of life, that the individual either doesn't want or can't physically manage to comply with. Why should baby's be any different. If it hurts, you can't breathe comfortably or your dinner is halfway up your windpipe, how do you respond as an adult. Do you lie down flat on your back or do you sit up and start cussing to yourself about the audacity of your body preventing comfortable sleeping when you're so tired. Babies can only cry and hope you get it.

I'm 50 odd and whenever I end up near a hospital they try to make me lie down to make their access easier. The fact that the shitty rubber mattress cripples my lower back and hips, my legs go painfully numb and I severely cannot breathe is moot to them. I must behave myself and lie down. You ought to see 'em panic on the occasions I've complied and ended up unconscious, according to my husband. Once, my heart nearly stopped from doing as I was told. Unlike adults who are trying to be polite, babies are not daft enough, for want of a better phrase, to follow rules that make them uncomfortable or cause pain.

You can only do your best as we are all indivuals, even babies.