to say that newborns have not read the safer sleep guidelines?

[Lultasway]

My 3 week old baby does not seem to understand that he should be sleeping feet to foot flat on his back in his cot. He would much rather sleep all scrunched up on his tummy on my chest. Nor will he sleep next to me in a safe co sleeping set up - he wants to be on me.

My eldest son (who is much older) used to sleep in any number of places I now understand are deemed unsafe including his car seat, bouncer etc. My DD who is 8 used to sleep brilliantly in her sleepyhead but apparently those are also no longer deemed safe. Swaddles - apparently also no longer deemed safe according to my midwife.

AIBU in thinking surely there can't be many babies happy to sleep flat on their backs alone in a cot as newborns?!

My almost 8 m/o sleeps on my chest for part of most nights still. I used a tight swaddle until baby learned to roll at about 4 months. I still put baby on back to sleep but within a minute rolls to tummy with arms and legs pulled in tight. I don't put baby to sleep in any kind of bouncer, or with any kind of pillow or blankets, though.

Have you tried a weighted swaddle? This solved the very same problem for me. Look up dreamland baby on the internet. Pricey but worth it, you can finder cheaper ones on Vinted

You should do what you think best...All three of my children slept in their own bedrooms from day one....We had cctv and monitored them very regularly....Never had any issues with their sleep, never wanting to get into my bed at night, all good sleepers, now 27, 20, and 18 they are still good sleepers....I am not and never would tell anyone how their baby should sleep, sometimes mum does know best and l understand what you are saying, so much information, that keeps on changing....my mother slept in a drawer in her sisters bedroom, somethings do change for the better.....Hope you get things sorted

I would definitely try swaddling. I have read all the guidelines carefully and never heard about this being a no go until they can roll. We loved the Love to Dream ones - they still have room to move but reduces the startle reflex (best if baby naturally sleeps with arms up). Mine liked to sleep on me during the day but slept in the Moses basket with her swaddle at night. She also had a dummy from fairly early on which might have helped. We also found she preferred the Moses basket over the Next to Me when she was tiny.

Mine both co-slept with me after the first time I woke up with DC1 having fallen asleep on my chest. Safely co-sleeping was much safer than that. If you can feed on your side lying down so they are already on the mattress, that helps. I worked out I was doing it as safely as possible (no alcohol or smoking, no cover, flat mattress, breastfeeding, next to me not DP) so our risks were low.

Why is sleeping in a sling frowned upon?

Surely during the summer swaddling might cause the baby to overheat 🤔

Another recommendation to search safe chest-sleeping, cosleepy on Instagram has some resources. I didn't do it until she was older, around six months, but it's been one of the only ways I could get any sleep this year, until she got too big and it hurt my back. She still now sleeps the last part of most nights lying on her dad's chest and she's one.

That’s genuinely true - and it’s part of why it’s safer - they don’t enter such a deep sleep that they forget to breathe

The 0.2 tog Love to Dream ones are very lightweight and can be used up to around 27 degrees so OK in most houses except in a real heatwave.

Tonight may be the first night this summer where it it more than 27 degrees overnight in my house. My toddler still has the 0.2 tog sleeping bags which are great for summer.

Happycosleeper on Instagram has loads of advice on safe chest sleeping.

Obviously it's not ideal and it would be lovely if they'd sleep soundly in the cot but you all need as much rest as possible right now so best to make sure you're doing it as safely as possible

I ended up chest sleeping propped up with cushions to each side of me. It only worked as im a light sleeper and if he moved, I woke up.

I agree that the reason it's 'safer' for them to 'sleep' on their own on their back in a cot is because most of them don't actually sleep there.

For the first few weeks I did a combination of whatever worked. I tried things like lying them on their side first and then trying to gently tip them onto their back, heating up the mattress, feeding lying down and then moving away, and on the nights when nothing else worked I followed the safer chest sleeping guidelines on the cosleepy Instagram page that others have mentioned above. For many weeks I spent the second half of every night doing this. I figured if it is going to happen anyway, I might as well try and do it as safely as possible rather than fall asleep holding them on the sofa, and those guidelines are from la leche league.

I've seen online that people get a yoga mat to put on top to make it safe to Co sleep on

I put my 2 youngest in proper beds at the age of 1 and slept next to them rather that put them in my bed. It was "safe" in my book

I meant the co-sleeping

You just need to make your own risk assessments and do what you feel comfortable with.

Mine do sleep on their backs in their own cots but they are also in their own room before 6 months because we all sleep better that way. I’m happy with my risk assessment.

It's only a no go after they can roll...fine for newborns

I'm convinced my eldest slept so well because she was, and still is a back sleeper.

The youngest, however, was a different story. She would sleep on me, in a sling or pushchair. DH spent many an evening pushing her to sleep.

Just here to offer my sympathy! Mine only slept on me too - those sleepless nights are how I discovered Mumsnet!

My DC is better at sleeping in the cotbed now aged 1 but is still probably more clingy then they would be if I had properlt tried to sleep train them from 6 months.

Mine did this too. All you can do is take it in turns to sleep while your partner holds the baby. Took about 6 months before we got to the point where we could slide her into her cot without waking her up.

My youngest was a tummy sleeper. We went with it as she was a nightmare sleeper so we decided to just roll with what worked. We went and got one of those monitors with the pad for under the mattress to pick up if she stopped breathing.

Only time it went off was when we'd moved her from the moses basket to the cot and forgot to switch the sensitivity setting. Oh my goodness!

I coslept with mine from day 1.

You don't see apes in the wild putting their babies in cribs. Always attached.

We're carrying animals.

Single parent, no partner.

My ds would only sleep in his bouncy chair, on me or between me & exh in bed. We ended up putting his bouncy chair in his cot at night or putting him on a firm foam pillow between our pillows in bed so he didn't get covered up by the duvet. He never slept a full night until he was 3, diagnosed with Autism age 9.