To think you ought to tidy to a reasonable basic standard before people come to view your house?

[LeapingUpstream]

Trying to settle a debate with DH. I'm not talking about making it look show-home perfect, I'm talking about making it look like a reasonably tidy and welcoming, albeit lived-in home.

YANBU: A basic level of cleanliness/ tidiness is both expected and kind of important to actually selling the place.

YABU: No, it's fine to let people look round whatever state it's in, even if the master bedroom floor is mostly invisible. (And therefore leaving it in said state for your heavily pregnant and not-very-well wife who can't currently bend over to deal with, having done nothing about it all weekend, despite saying you would, is totally acceptable. And she's being the unreasonable one for thinking it ought to be tidy and for being stressed and upset that it isn't.)

😡

Can you meet in the middle somewhere?

Put off selling until you can do it yourself. Definitely off putting if it is positively messy, makes you wonder what it was like before they tidied up! Also suggests other things may not have been done properly if they have little interest in the state of tidiness of the house.

YANBU, I've been looking online at houses for sale recently and some of the shite and clutter in the photos is horrendous.

One even had an overflowing kitchen bin. I mean how hard is it to just empty it?

Would he try to sell a car if it was full of junk and filthy?

Now this, I do…but via garages who don’t care! A house needs to be well presented up to a point so people can see the ‘bones’ of it.

Absolutely not unreasonable!

I hate the thought of anyone coming over when my house is untidy, let alone people I'm trying to sell the property to.

You want to show your home in the best light, no one will be expecting perfection but I don't think buyers will be wanting to step around your possessions on the floor either.

For me, it depends on how difficult the house is likely to be to sell. If it’s a quirky house, in an undesirable area, or it’s a bad market, or the house for some reason is only going to appeal to a niche subset of buyers, then I’d go all out to make it as appealing as possible to viewers. If it’s a standard house, in a relatively popular area, in reasonable condition, then I’d be far less effortful.

The last house we bought had been a student house lived in by five male undergraduates, and was incredibly messy. It didn’t take away from the gorgeous bones.

Ha. No. Has in fact been putting off selling his car for about a year now as he can't get his act together to get it cleaned and ready. But apparently I'm being unreasonable for thinking I need to tidy up the house a bit for viewings. Thankfully most of it's fine, but our bedroom is a total shit tip.

I've viewed a lot of houses. They have nearly all clearly been tidied. Apart from the odd mid divorce house

Your house will sell quicker and for more money if it is in a decent state.

We put aside some money each time for tarting ours up and spent significant time decluttering.

Even if you only put it all in boxes in the garage it makes a big difference.

We paid someone to come and clean it properly from top to bottom and also got gardeners in to make the garden lovely.

Might he be persuaded by the financial implications?

Not really, he's buggered off to work leaving me to enlist the dubious support of an overenthusiastic but incompetent 10yo and a 7yo who treats all attempts to make him tidy as a form of physical torture. But apparently I'm in the wrong for getting upset that he's done fuck all to help as it doesn't need to be done. It's all in my head, apparently.

I wouldn’t want people to see my home if it was a shit tip.

Jusr basic daily cleaning maintenance. I wouldn’t feel the need to do a deep clean every time someone came over and I wouldn’t want to live in a show home. But if you have to pick litter off the bedroom floor it definitely needs a clean.

I’ve sold 4 houses and they have been as clean, tidy and clutter free as possible.

you are selling a lifestyle as well as a home. By leaving clutter everywhere, you may give the message that it hasn’t got enough storage. Also, when someone can’t be bothered to make it cleans and tidy, it makes me wonder whether they haven’t bothered with general upkeep either.

He’s being daft.

Does he want to sell it or not? Imagine the perfect buyer came to visit and then got put off by the state of it.
Also I would go out when viewers came and let him show then round while standing in mess he was too lazy to tidy up

YANBU. I would question whether the mess and clutter is to hide damp or damage and also whether their reluctance to keep on top of housework extends to a reluctance to keep on top of annual gas safety checks, plumbing or guttering etc.

Get a local handyman in to help.

The man with van type.

Just to put it all into boxes and get it in the garage (assuming nothing actually in the pile gets used on a day to day basis).

Do you have the funds to pay for a cleaner? Mine is really good at tidying too.

It might be easier if you could just schedule a cleaner in for the short term. These kind of relationship issues don’t get solved quickly or easily. Even if your husband did agree that a certain level of cleanliness was expected he still probably wouldn’t clean.

I think cleaning is more important than tidying. I can see beyond (for example) stuff piled up on bookshelves, but if the kitchen and the bathroom are filthy that would really put me off (not least because it would suggest that the current owners had not maintained the house).

Visiting a home that was a mess would potentially put me off buying.

If someone can't be bothered to clear the floor so that it's visible then what else are they neglecting? I'd be thinking of damp/mould issues etc.

It’s definitely him. Apart from selling the house, he really couldn’t spend 30 minutes tidying up the bedroom when his wife is pregnant and would struggle to do it? Bet it’s all his shit anyway.
However - it wouldn’t stop me liking or buying a house. I can see past mess, although a lot of people can’t.

Depends on the vibe of the house you are selling surely.

If you are selling a doer upper that is a wreck then it is fine IMO.

If you are selling a finished house ready to move into with hi spec decoration etc then probably not.

Remember the capacity of the floordrobe is a valuable detail some people need to know.

With regard to enlisting your kids - tactic for you. I have a 9 and 7 year old.
Stick music on, set a timer for 1 minute. See who can pick up the most items and put them on the bed in 1 minute. Winner gets to choose the soundtrack and how long the next timer is. the short time and competition element will keep them focussed.

Once everything on the bed, get each child to remove what’s theirs. Now it’s on the bed, you’ll find it easier to put other things away.

(The above is also fairly effective with husbands)

You're heavily pregnant and unwell. Even if you weren't trying to sell, he should be doing it anyway to make it nicer for you!

(But yes, for viewings it should definitely be clean and tidy)

Of course a basic standard or cleanliness and tidiness is required. Beyond that, you might go to more or less effort depending on things like the type of property etc, but there is certainly a minimum standard for letting people in.

Once I viewed a house with dog shit on the carpet. It was about 10am and the people who lived there were still in bed, poor dog probably hadn’t been let out and couldn’t wait any longer. It’s not really the way to sell a house.