To think you ought to tidy to a reasonable basic standard before people come to view your house?

[LeapingUpstream]

Trying to settle a debate with DH. I'm not talking about making it look show-home perfect, I'm talking about making it look like a reasonably tidy and welcoming, albeit lived-in home.

YANBU: A basic level of cleanliness/ tidiness is both expected and kind of important to actually selling the place.

YABU: No, it's fine to let people look round whatever state it's in, even if the master bedroom floor is mostly invisible. (And therefore leaving it in said state for your heavily pregnant and not-very-well wife who can't currently bend over to deal with, having done nothing about it all weekend, despite saying you would, is totally acceptable. And she's being the unreasonable one for thinking it ought to be tidy and for being stressed and upset that it isn't.)

😡

It needs to be clean and tidy. Why did he agree to sell if he was too lazy to do the work involved? He assumes a heavily pregnant wife will do his share as well as her own? Pathetic of him.

Most people should be able to see beyond the mess and clutter. However, we still rember the very messy and cluttered house we saw when we were house hunting. They were a family of 2 adults and 2 kids and we were the same but our kids were babies. It just highlighted the lack of workable storage for me. I tried to imagine what we could do differently but couldn't get away from the fact that a lot of the solutions I would have come up with they had already employed and it wasn't enough. We would have outgrown that house quickly.

I do think a house should be clean, tidy and presentable before viewings. I would get a cleaner in if you can afford to.

Ad for your dh's behaviour, that is a whole other thread.

Yes, definitely tidy and clean! Spent a while on this at the weekend and then the people didn't turn up which is so infuriating. I would say pack away anything you don't need and store in loft/cupboard/car etc to make sure the task is easier to stay on top of for multiple viewings. So much of our stuff is away that the tidying isn't too bad

We are also selling ours, for viewings I always make sure the house is clean, tidy and smelling nice. If it is a first viewing you can get away with chucking stuff in the wardrobe but on second viewings they are more likely to want to look in built in wardrobes, cupboards etc.

Get the children to pick up everything and shove it in a bin bag for you, shove that somewhere out of sight. That will do for today.

To be honest play him at his own game. Don’t clean it. Let the viewers make their own decision. If it’s rejected then his fault.

That’s why our house is now devoid of any personal stuff. Boxes in the loft that was previously empty, photos hidden in drawers and cupboards, bathroom cleared of everything but towels, posh shower gel and posh hand soap. I’m so over it now, it’s been going on for what feels like forever.

I think we’re at the point of giving up.

The OP says 'I'm not talking about making it look show-home perfect, I'm talking about making it look like a reasonably tidy and welcoming, albeit lived-in home.'

She is already meeting in the middle while her husband isn't willing to compromise.

OP, obviously YANBU. Making sure the house looks reasonably tidy and clean for viewings is one of the most basic house-viewing rules there is.

Stuff on the floor, in particular, is a no-no - people need to be able to walk around the room they're viewing! Your husband is mad to think he can leave clothes all over the bedroom floor and expect potential buyers to pick their way across his discarded socks and pants just to get around the place.

One of the houses we looked at when we were buying was really untidy and cluttered, and yes, obviously when you buy a place the previous owner's clutter won't be there. But DP and I (who are not even particularly tidy people) both said that we just couldn't actually get a real sense of what the house was like because of the messiness of it. There were clothes piled up in the corners of the master bedroom and stuff all over the bedside tables and dressing table, and there were kids' toys all over the floor in the living area and piles of paperwork and old magazines on the sofa, and a bike in the hallway. We couldn't even really get a feel for how big the rooms were. Plus, it made us think that the if the vendors were careless and disorganised about the house for viewings, they would be equally careless and disorganised about the sale process and probably wouldn't have maintained the property that well.

A bit lived-in is fine! I wouldn't expect it to look like a show home or presented for a magazine shoot. I wouldn't be put off by a couple of mugs on the draining board or a few bits on the coffee table or toys on the kids' beds or anything. Of course people can't keep everything pristine all the time! But stuff chucked on the floor is a bit much.

This is what I think. I have various hidey holes for e.g. pile of paperwork, DD's clutter of hair clips etc

does he want to sell?

Sell it, take your half of the money and LTB.

Yeah, you know the answer to this one. He's being a dick. Your kids sound adorable though.

Clearing today is about stashing stuff, not necessarily actually sorting it. Use pillow cases or supermarket shopping bags, stuff into car boot or wardrobe.

This. Would be totally off putting.

We attempted to view a house that was so messy we couldn't do more than poke our heads into some rooms. We obviously didn't buy that house. It doesn't need to be a spotless blank canvas but it does need to be clean and tidy. Just shoving stuff into cupboards is sufficient.

It's just pure laziness on his part. He'd be happy if you did it; he just doesn't want to do it himself.

And of course if he went to buy a house that was a mess he would be critical of that.

Agree you should ditch the lazy husband, sell the property and run off with the profit.

Did you tidy up for the photographs?

As PP's have said ask the kids to put everything on the bed (unless it's DH's dirty skiddies)
If there is any of their stuff then they take it to their rooms and put it away (although why there would be I don't understand).
Put your own stuff away and put all DH's stuff in bin bags and put it outside by the bins.

I don't actually know how you can relax and sleep well in a shit tip. You are both at fault here for letting it get that bad. But you are pregnant and poorly so can possibly be excused. Your DH on the other hand is a dick.

If there are any of his dirty skiddies then I would leave them on full display and send him a photo so he can see what the viewers will see and then tell him him that's why it won't sell.

I really resent anyone trying to impose their laidback attitude on me so I’m annoyed on your behalf! Even if it’s fine to show your home when it’s messy, he’s ignoring your feelings.

But why wouldn’t he want to make it as nice as possible? The sooner an offer is made, the sooner he won’t have to worry about viewings.

Bless the enthusiastic helpers ❤️

Does he want to sell the house?

If I see a house over cluttered (piled up), it just tells me I’m not going to fit things in and if really messy and all over the floor, then I’d assume like pp’s that you’re not maintaining the house adequately.

So much of the house buying is instinct and emotion - yes, there are practical considerations that override this, but if your heart sinks when you walk in somewhere untidy it will be hard to overcome that.

We both drove round with crap in our cars for weeks when we were selling our house - things that didn't necessarily have a home were rattling round (laundry baskets etc!)

🚨 lazy, selfish dickhead alert! 🚨

YABU. Leaving aside the utter stupidity of trying to sell your single most valuable asset while simultaneously demonstrating to potential buyers that you don't give a shit about it - if he tells his heavily pregnant and unwell wife he will do something, he should bloody well be doing it!
You can't trust him to pick up his own pants. It's not a good look for a grown man, and demonstrating that he doesn't give a shit about you.

Unless mental health issues I don't understand people who are happy with real untidiness when you want people to come into your home. I'd be mortified.

He also isn't very respectful of you or your health. But I assume this isn't unusual for you?

I'd assume someone doesn't really want to sell.

If there's stuff all over the bedroom floor, it likely smells. And people viewing will know there isn't enough storage and be put off.

I agree with you. Things don’t need to be perfect but it needs to at least have clear work top and you can walk around without having to step over things.

im not a really tidy person but I try not to let it drop into unmanageable.

even if the master bedroom floor is mostly invisible

this sentence jumped out to me @LeapingUpstream because I don’t think that’s acceptable at anytime, never mind when having a viewing!
There is no reason to just drop someone on the bedroom floor and leave it there! Then even worse leaving a heavily pregnant partner to clean it up!

I tell you something if dp dropped his clothes other stuff on the floor I’d be right telling him to get it picked up! It’s bad enough when he leaves his dirty washing in the bathroom on the shelf things but at least it’s in a sort of tidy pile.

that’s not to say I don’t have washing piled on top of a basket sometimes or a coffee table covered in stuff that needs sorted or a pile of dishes I haven’t managed yet.

also all adults in the house are responsible for keeping the living areas tidy and clean (not necessarily perfect but to a bit of a standard) he needs to understand you are not the default.