To get “girls” stuff when I search for “boys”

[Cocobeau]

This is so fucking annoying.

I get this problem on so many websites. I specifically select the “boys” category and then results show a load of clothes clearly aimed for girls.

This example is from M&S. My exact actions;

Kids tab > 3 for 2 on kids Clothing > Boys (the options are view all, view boys or view girls.

These are the very first results that display. It’s clearly all designed with girls in mind. I get you’re allowed to dress your boy in pink and animal print, but I’d prefer not to for now. He can wear what he wants when he’s old enough to choose.

You might say this is a fly in the system but I have also frequently had this problem previously on Next and H&M.

I messaged Next once about it as I thought it was a glitch on the app. Their response was to tell me to use the web version, which had the same issue.

This is very much first world problems but it’s soooo bloody annoying!

And wishing my kids good luck growing up being themselves.....do you honestly think I've ever had a conversation with them about what should be where in a shop? I mean, get real ffs.

It's great that your kids could wear "things from whichever section they wanted with no pressure whatsoever." But don't you think that labelling the sections "boys" and "girls" creates pressure, at least for some people?

On one hand there's pressure for a boy/girl (or parent of a boy/girl) who likes flowers/diggers to think they "shouldn't" wear those clothes. And on the other hand, possibly, it also creates an impression that a boy who like flowers is less of a boy and in some way a girl, as opposed to just being a boy who likes flowers, and similarly for girls with non-conforming preferences. I really think there might well be less gender dysphoria around if society in general was less strictly gendered (including retailers as some of the most visible examples).

@CasperGutman I'll just agree to disagree.

You are completely missing the point. It isn't about the location in the shop. It's the labels on things like flowers or sparkles or diggers or dinosaurs. It gives the message that anyone who likes flowers is a girl. Girls who like sports kits still, in this day and age, get called boyish, tomboys, or even lesbians. Because they like sports.

Take the labels away and eventually the associations go too.

The menus seem fine to me. I don't get what you see. In tech support circles this issue would probably be put down to PEBCAK. Problem exists between chair and keyboard.

@IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos so what about these then? My DD has had multiple digger/tractor/football clothes in pink and bright colours. But apparently they don't exist?

Our four year old grandson has those leggings. He loves an animal print. He also has Elsa and Spider-Man costumes. What’s the problem?

in pink

Just a girl who....

What's wrong with just a standard tractor or dinosaur t-shirt that either could wear?

@IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos this is actually EXHAUTSING!! They are just ones I picked are because you were basically saying girls are only flowers and hearts, and boys dinosaurs and diggers. They are not. Everything is out there if you want it. You are just choosing to mention the ones you want to.

I've repeatedly mentioned pink and you went straight for in pink.

You don't have to prove dinosaurs exist on girls clothes, because you're still missing the point.

They're still labelled as girls clothes. So if a boy wanted to wear the pink dinosaur one in your previous example, he's wearing girls clothes and then there's all the rubbish that comes with that. Being bullied for being a boy in girls things. Being seen as less of a boy and more of a girl (which in itself isn't bad but that's what kids and idiots use as insults).

It's the labels and the stereotypes that need taking away. Let the boys wear pink dinosaurs or blue flowers or yellow dinosaurs or sparkly diggers. Let the girl wear camouflage or sports kits or pink fluffy unicorns or whatever. Just stop assigning specific colours and things to a gender and sticking a label on them to do so.

@IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos 💤💤💤

Not willing to even contemplate opening your mind. Good for you.

@IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos I'm not replying to any more of your messages as this is ridiculously boring. I have said throughout that anyone should wear whatever they want, I've shown you tops that are unisex, tops that have what you say is only out there for boys but I've clearly shown you girls versions. I am so bored replying, my kids wear what they want when they want, so do I. But nothing will be good enough for someone like you. Absolutely no point in responding because I'm out.

I just did the same as you OP and yeah it's a lot of "girl" clothes. Sure, some can be unisex but I scrolled down abit and there were dresses. Most people aren't going to put a dress on a boy.

My son is nearly four and repeatedly tells us that his favourite colour is pink. He chose pink Frozen pyjamas (his favourite film) and purple unicorn pyjamas. He chose bright pink football trainers. He chose a pink Hawaiian shirt for our holiday.

This week he said he should be wearing blue. We quizzed him about it and it turns out one of his friends had told him that pink was only for girls :(

I see loads of designs I don't like when I'm hunting for clothes. I don't need someone else to pre filter based on outdated gender stereotypes.

Boys clothes are looser fitting and practical for being active. The only item of clothing that needs to be a different shape is underpants. In my experience, the baby boy clothes were a lot more interesting designs, baby girl stuff was all pastel and frills. When they hit about 3 the girl stuff is more fun and the boy stuff turned to all sludge colours, cars and dinosaurs.

It should be legislated that all clothing designs be available in a range of colours and not labelled for boys or girls. It's ridiculous having to do laps of a shop like m and s or Primark because even the boys and girls pyjamas or socks are at opposite ends of the shop and they're identical apart from the characters printed on them. They should all be together and let parents and kids pick whatever they like without feeling awkward taking their child into the section that says they shouldn't be there.

It's all part of the bigger issue that girls are still seen as 'less' by society. Oh too delicate to want to climb and run so have less practical clothes but look! Pretty sparkles for you dear. Not clever enough to play with proper boy Lego, why would girls be interested in engineering when they're older anyway? Give them a pink easy Lego cutesy model so they don't feel left out. Aw she wears boy things, she's a tomboy! Argh don't let boys wear pink leggings they might look girly.

F f s

I've always just followed their lead when it came to what they liked clothes, toy, game wise etc. He does have diagnosed ASD so he would become very fixated in one thing. I don't know if it's because he struggled with making friends and social skills at school (all the kids seemed to like him, he just had no interest in them haha), but the first kids he remembered names of and his teacher said he played with and sat with were 2 girls. He liked butterflies and skipping etc and never really grasped imaginative play anyway so nothing really different there. His older brother was a lot more boisterous and liked black and Super Mario, I used to joke he was a tech goth reincarnated haha.

My younger one day chose out some red (his favourite colour now) and just started favouring reds and greens, with blue sometimes thrown in. He started making friends with boys of his own volition, oddly after a rock climbing party we had for him and invited a mix of girls and boys. He asked if he could start doing football club and cricket club (his older brother was already quite sporty but never really spoke to him about it) and if he could go to the football matches with his brother, uncle and cousin. From my experience with my boys, it does sometimes make me wonder if it is truly a society stereotype thing, or if it's actually just individual innate personality, because no one ever told them they were wrong or tried to push anything on them, just went along with likes and dislikes.

I think going along with what they like is the best way, and the cut of clothes isn't really a big deal until they're hitting puberty in their teens and that's when clothes have obvious size and tailoring differences.

Men’s and women’s body shapes are different. Young children’s aren’t. You can filter for blue and beige trousers if that’s what you want.

I largely agree except for cycling shorts & leggings Tight fitted shorts just draw attention to male genitalia, whatever age, its not a look I like on boys. The fit also needs to be different in the gusset for boys and girls genitals.

But what if she likes traditionally 'boy' toys? Can't you just ask her parents?

The cut kind of does matter though when the girls clothes are shorter and tighter and less suitable for physical activity, coupled with parents like there are on this thread being horrified at the thought of dressing their boy in girls clothes and vice versa and who are very vocal about it in the kids hearing, so the kids then go to school and ridicule other kids for wearing the wrong thing.

Kids are still brainwashed by stereotypes and it goes so much further than wanting t-shirts with dinosaurs or cats on in a colour they like. In one ear they're being told they can be anything and in the other boys are being dressed to be physically active and given toys from the "boys" section which has engineering aspects which help them develop spatial awareness and understanding of physics. Girls are given nurturing and quiet art activity toys and then you get posts on here about "a boy mum" being so different because oh the noise and sticks and wrestling, which is literally how they are taught to behave.
There was a thing on TV a few years ago where they dressed babies in "boy" and "girl" outfits and observed how experienced early years staff interacted with them, which toys they encouraged and how they reacted if they toppled over etc. the staff themselves were astonished when it was revealed to them as they thought they treated the kids the same. The day to day assumptions are steering how kids develop and having clothes and toys that are only socially acceptable for one or the other is limiting them.

Yep. This 🔼 is why this stuff matters.

When they are wearing nappies it's kind of irrelevant!
As above I liked leggings on both my DCs as babies and toddlers as they are cooler than warm joggers.

If your saying pink, animal print, pastels are more for girls, then surely you could filter it out on certain colours.
The fact is the majority of children's clothing is very obviously unisex. So moving away for boy and girl categories is good.

You could surely say the same about leggings on girls? They shouldn't be that tight, it would be uncomfy. My five year old son wears leggings and you can't see anything - and anyway, his t-shirts are long enough to cover him. Of course, as boys get older leggings would show more - but on young boys they're practical and comfy. I'm sure in the next couple of years he'll want to fit in and will stop wearing them.

I wouldn't have a problem with it if the clothes that companies decided are unisex were indeed styled that way. I have bought T's for my boys and the necklines/sleeves look horrible, as they're obviously styled for a girl. I don't have an issue with a range of colours/patterns across sexes, but actual styling does impact if something is suitable for boys and girls and that should be made clear on websites.