To think a lot of homes are “soulless” and all people care about is size?

[Spicegirl1234]

I love homes that are full of personality, stuff picked up around the world in trips, fleamarket finds, family objects, homes that are not perfect but keep your eyes “busy” when looking and fully reflect the life of people that live within them and make you feel warm when you go in.
I very rarely come across such homes, the majority of the ones I see (in RL and online) tend to be very boring with no personality whatsoever and people mainly seem to be focussed on buying the biggest possible places with their money and then upgrading/extending etc rather than enjoying what they have and make it “theirs”.
Does anyone else feel this way about home decor?

We're all different. Personally, I hate having loads of "stuff" cluttering the house and love sparse surfaces, walls with just one picture on, neutral colours etc. I have all my stuff put away in cupboards and drawers. It keeps me calm.

As for souvenirs from foreign holidays, I have various small keepsakes which are kept in their own places and pretty much out of the way - we know they're there, we can remember the holidays - we don't need big items cluttering the house.

The OP would hate us. Beige/grey/white walls, grey/beige carpets, grey sofas, clean lines, mostly empty surfaces. Our idea of heaven - calm and peaceful!

Love this post! I want my living space to be a place of calm, a haven if you like, for me- it's the small part of the world that is mine. It's not about wanting my personality to be visually seen by everyone who walks through the door. The people that know me and love me already know what my personality and passions are- that doesnt need a visual representation, they already know.

I really dont like "busyness" and to me, that doesnt really indicate anything whatsoever about personality anyway, but rather merely a state of mind. I want my state of mind to be calm and my home reflects that. People have said they feel calm in my house and I take that as a massive compliment!

This is yet another thread where posters post about each extreme of the spectrum. It is entirely possible to have a house with personal items like photos, paintings, plants and books on show and not make the place look too cluttered or busy.

The rooms in my house are all painted in pastel colours. Both DH and I need good light to see and don't see well in dim light, so we have colours on the walls that reflect the light to make the room brighter. We also have light coloured curtains.

I think the trend towards minimalism is just reflective of modern life. People are busy. They want something easy to clean, low maintenance. Paint the whole house white or grey, stick the furniture in, done. It's easy. A lot of people are stressed and don't want additional stress and work at home.

I'm a full on maximalist. So much so, I'd define it as a hobby. My house is never "finished". There's always something new to add or improve. (And yes, it takes a lot more cleaning!) But I have the time to dedicate to it. It's something I really enjoy doing. It does also cost money and other people have different priorities for their money.

I couldn't live in a minimalist home, but a minimalist couldn't live in mine! People should live how they want. Every room in my house makes me happy and that's how it should be, regardless of style.

Well, in the world of a disproportionate number of Mners (the ones who put on their pyjamas when they get home from work, never answer the door, regard the school run or other ordinary social interaction as an ordeal, and hate having visitors), there definitely won’t be welcoming homeowners, either.

I’m wondering whether there’s a correlation between the most ‘housework-focused’ Mners (the ones who squeegee the shower stall while showering and always show up on threads saying they never go up or downstairs without carrying something back to its place) and the most stridently ‘belongings are clutter’ ones.

The first paragraph contradicts the rest of your post. If it’s someone’s home on line, then you can’t judge if it’s to do with their personality. Surely if they go for a look it is their personality to do that.

the only people who don’t are poor in either money or time.but generally nearly everyone’s home is reflective of them,their personality , be it they love the look they saw on line or lack confidence in design, it’s all their personality,

Of course. But my point still stands. You need the time, interest and budget to do this. And a lot of people don’t.

Well, your original post was , 'why are people determined to paint someone with different tastes as boastful/ superior?

The obvious answer is that well, OP is making herself out to be superior. She may be just 'giving her opinion'.but her opinion is that her way is the best and the others are shit.

If you can't see it, there's no other way to explain it.

If she'd said instead 'I like houses like this I rarely see any' that would be well not superior.

BTW a lot of posters have said that the OP's houses sounds like an eyesore and full of rubbish , posters with similar houses have gotten offended soooo it's tit for tat I guess.

Surely if they go for a look it is their personality to do that

Not necessarily, if I had my way, my house would look like it belonged to Liberace or a Miami cartel boss. I like gold lions, leopardskin, faux fur, velvet chaise longues etc but my husband is the opposite and prefers clean minimalism so we have found a compromise. Neither of us have the house that accurately reflects our true "personality" because if one of us got our way, the other couldnt stand it 😆

Also, practicality and money is an issue too- my ideal home would look like the Versace mansion and his would look like a huge white box with nothing in it but thats slightly out of our price range at the current time.

We also have teenagers so their preferences are also taken into account in their own rooms.

When you live with other people you have to compromise so that everyone is happy so from that perspective, a home cant be just one person's personality, unless of course, you live alone and have the finances to accommodate everything single you want.

Yes, she is making herself out to be superior, but so what? So do vast numbers of posts on threads about screentime and children, AI holidays, breastfeeding, books visible on shelves vs books hidden under beds, SAHM vs WOHM, academic vs other forms of intelligence, ‘cooking from scratch’, marriage, weddings, voting, financial management, dress size, etc etc. It happens. People think you’re wrong all the time, and pride themselves on their superior IQ, marriage, professional achievement, degree class, family size etc.

It is sometimes very apparent on threads that aren’t about friendships why so many Mners really struggle socially.

Of course you were, this is MN after all 😂. Home of the superiority complex

So what? Exactly my point.
You are not the original poster I replied to. But they were complaining that people were determined to put the OP down/claim she acted superior just because her tastes were seemingly 'unique'.
My answer was that she started it! People were simply responding in kind.
Also you are agreeing with me that OP is painting herself as superior. PP I replied to, said that she wasn't she was just 'giving an opinion'.
The irony of saying that, but also complaining that others were getting offended when they're also merely giving their opinion on the shiteness of OP's taste/attitude isn't lost on me 🤣🤣🤣

Looking on line at potential new places, the minute I see the words 'recently renovated' I mentally factor in the cost of un-greying everything! If I'd wanted to live in all grey I would have joined the Navy and lived on a battleship, frigate grey should be a F&B colour.

locally produced crafts, not junk you buy in the souvenir shops, btw.

I've seen an awful amount of junk in so called artisan shops labelled 'locally produced crafts', horses for courses, one person's junk is another person's precious crafted piece.

Agree! If I’m on holiday I’m doing stuff, not wading through local shops to buy shite to bring home. Ditto ‘flea markets’. Seriously, what do your kids do when you are buying this stuff? Would they not rather you were spending time with them?

Did she say she’s kids?

For me personally, me pet peeve is spotlights. I find them so clinical. If I were in the market to buy a house, I'd have to calculate the cost of having them all taken out and replaced, ceiling made good etc. Likewise where people have got rid of the bath and just have a shower. That would cost a lot to reverse.

Walls can be painted over. Furniture and decor items would be removed by the previous owner. So I'm happy to look past that stuff.

Same here- most flea market stuff or "souvenirs" are just tacky rubbish anyway. Cant be arsed to cart all that back home in my luggage.

As for amazing antique finds like an antique dresser or a reclaimed wood side table- how on earth would you get those things home, you cant carry them onto the airplane. You can buy that stuff online in your own country and literally get it delivered to your house.

I far prefer actually having fun experiences with my family on holiday rather than spending the time buying "stuff" which I can do just as easily when I'm at home.

I like a bit of both- I do like books and music and as we work in music we have tons of it. Walls full of it in fact. I like candles and framed posters on walls etc - I also like big open spaces - don't like loads of tiny rooms .

However I have a H that never puts stuff away so my coffee table has my magazines on it plus bits of Hs job - as does dining table -it drives me nuts

I find a lot of people who have newer houses often tend to have less clutter , partly taste, partly storeage and usually liking ''clean lines' -

You ship it home. It’s usually inexpensive if you’re happy to wait. And if you think you can find the same things ‘at home’ as you can in a house clearance brocante in the Gers or in a ceramics shop in Lucca, think again.

I do remember though posting a couple of Rightmove links to lovely fresh 'done up' looking homes here in Bath that were in the posters budget- done up but still 'with old features' only for people to say they looked a bit 'soulless' -looked lovely to me - decor is one of those things that really is a very individual thing - and money often comes into it too- if it looks like a vision of Ikea/dunelm it's possibly because someone is trying to create a lovely comfortable home 'on a budget'

the majority of the ones I see (in RL and online) tend to be very boring with no personality whatsoever and people mainly seem to be focussed on buying the biggest possible places with their money and then upgrading/extending etc rather than enjoying what they have and make it “theirs”.

this is about envy for large houses.

You ship it home. It’s usually inexpensive if you’re happy to wait. And if you think you can find the same things ‘at home’ as you can in a house clearance brocante in the Gers or in a ceramics shop in Lucca, think again

Right, but I dont "need" fancy rare furniture items from abroad to express my personality through my home surely? I have lots of lovely pieces that reflect who I am already in my house. Why this weird need to get stuff specifically from abroad? and what about people who cant afford to travel- do they not have personalised homes?

I far prefer actually having fun experiences with my family on holiday rather than spending the time buying "stuff" which I can do just as easily when I'm at home

That's a very narrow view. I holiday alone a lot. No partner, DC grown up (although we do go away together sometimes). Not everyone is mum, dad, 2.4 children.

Part of the fun of a holiday for me is being on the lookout for quirky or unique items I specifically can't get here. So I don't go to big shopping centres or suchlike, which granted are much of a muchness. But I like browsing the places we don't have here. I mix it up with sightseeing etc. I still have plenty of "experiences".

To be honest I live in a large period home with many unique and rare pieces, and even I would stand up and say would a ludicous pompous statement