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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Walking into neighbours garden

83 replies

hippopandamouse · 10/08/2024 22:50

Random one I know haha!

We live in between 2 of my family members. Our cat had a litter of kittens and one of them is being rehomed by my auntie next door. Every single time they have friends over they are lining the fence with them and staring into our garden to show them the kittens, fine - kittens are great!

However last week they had a huge piss up and after I’d put my 3DC to bed I came down to round up the animals and noticed my dog was stood staring in through their garden gate. Refused to come in when called (very unusual for her) I then realised why as my auntie briskly walked back into my garden holding one of the kittens.

She was a little taken aback to see me stood in the doorway and said “Oh I was just borrowing one of your kittens to show everyone!” I let it go and locked up.

Today same situation but different friend selection! I just so happened to be walking into the kitchen at 9pm and see her marching down towards our gate. She only noticed noticed us as the kids were making a racket. She looks at me and says “Oh!…I was just going to borrow the black and white kitten as C is really taken by him”

I know they’re family but there is no way in a million years she’d tolerate someone walking into her garden and helping themselves to something even if the intention was to return it. Am I being unreasonable to think this is just rude? I wouldn’t dream of doing that to anyone. Not the end of the world I know it’s just niggling at me.

My dad is the other side of us and whenever he’s not in both of his siblings (other lives a mile from us) and their family use his garden as a footpath but will never do it when he’s home.

My aunties DC is getting married and when my dad isn’t in she goes into his garden and takes rose petals from his bushes to make confetti. I know as she’s told me but hasn’t asked my dad if this is okay!

They also use his driveway to park their cars but again only if he’s not there.

Maybe I’m just being silly but I’m feeling a bit uncomfortable 😣

OP posts:
CherryBlossom321 · 10/08/2024 23:41

Personally, I’d be moving, but I imagine you won’t want to do that. So the other option is to have boundaries. “Hi auntie, there seems to have been some confusion or misunderstanding on your part. You can’t walk into our garden uninvited and help yourself to the kittens. Please don’t do it again.”
Any resistance or argument just repeat, “You can’t walk into our garden without permission” ad verbatim.

Klippityklopp · 10/08/2024 23:48

Honestlynotsure · 10/08/2024 23:25

This whole thread just screams 'tell me you live on a council estate without telling me you live on a council estate' 😄😄😄

You've made yourself look a bit of a tit there @Honestlynotsure.
Thinking you were being funny with the added Smile but not only were you being judgemental you were also wrong

Toastandbutterand · 10/08/2024 23:52

I would imagine she's really excited about her kitten and it'll stop as soon as she has it in her home.

I'd just say that the kittens and mother are getting upset by it and you need to keep kitten in or they won't get properly taught by their mother and itll take longer til neighbour can take the kitten home.

Well done on rehoming a cat and taking the responsibility.

TheMaddHugger · 10/08/2024 23:59

Kitten Tax MUST be PAID

come on OP Pay up. Were is the a pics

Tumbleweed101 · 11/08/2024 00:00

Doesn't sound like a typical neighbour set up if they are all your family. Boundaries are probably much more blurred than with unrelated neighbours, especially if you are remote. Can't you just be blunt and say the kittens need to stay where mum is for now?

TheMaddHugger · 11/08/2024 00:02

TheMaddHugger · 10/08/2024 23:59

Kitten Tax MUST be PAID

come on OP Pay up. Were is the a pics

how did i post yesterday ?????????? when i posted 3 minutes ago 👀

Franjipanl8r · 11/08/2024 00:03

Honestlynotsure · 10/08/2024 23:25

This whole thread just screams 'tell me you live on a council estate without telling me you live on a council estate' 😄😄😄

A council house with a council house either side for her dad and her aunty!!??

Fraaahnces · 11/08/2024 00:06

Maybe use your words and talk to her about it.

BiscuityBoyle · 11/08/2024 00:08

TheMaddHugger · 11/08/2024 00:02

how did i post yesterday ?????????? when i posted 3 minutes ago 👀

Because 3 minutes ago it was yesterday.

LovePoppy · 11/08/2024 00:08

Time for padlocks on the gates

BiscuityBoyle · 11/08/2024 00:09

So you live out in the back of beyond with your auntie as your neighbour and one other house? That other house must feel left out!

In this odd set of circumstances I can see why she would feel like your garden is more communal.

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 11/08/2024 00:56

if you put a lock on the gate what do you think she would do?
is the fence low enough to climb over?
i think you should put a physical barrier of some kind in place (as a reminder when she's drunk/excited) but also say something verbally, eg "from now on, we;'re keeping the garden locked and you'll need to come to the front door if you want anything" and "the kittens need to stay with their mother until they're x weeks old, so please don't 'borrow' any of them again. if you can't respect this, we'll have to have a rethink about where they go next".

neilyoungismyhero · 11/08/2024 01:12

hippopandamouse · 10/08/2024 23:18

Thank you for your opinion however she was pregnant when we took her on. Kittens are due second vaccinations next weekend and she has been spayed! 🙃 garden is fully fenced in and vet was happy for us to allow them into it. Just trying my best over here haha!

Boom boom to Ms judgemental

Glaucous · 11/08/2024 01:42

BiscuityBoyle · 11/08/2024 00:09

So you live out in the back of beyond with your auntie as your neighbour and one other house? That other house must feel left out!

In this odd set of circumstances I can see why she would feel like your garden is more communal.

The other house is OP's dad

BMW6 · 11/08/2024 07:13

TheMaddHugger · 11/08/2024 00:02

how did i post yesterday ?????????? when i posted 3 minutes ago 👀

Silly bugger.
😂

stopthepigeonstopthepigeon · 11/08/2024 07:16

Why are people banging on about kittens? The OP didn’t ask anything about the kittens 😂

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 11/08/2024 07:22

Well, the kittens might give everyone an ahhhh moment, whereas the family intrusion is not such fun on. Sunday morning.

EmpressaurusDeiGatti · 11/08/2024 07:28

stopthepigeonstopthepigeon · 11/08/2024 07:16

Why are people banging on about kittens? The OP didn’t ask anything about the kittens 😂

I was going to ask about the kittens too, but RTFT & saw the answers to my questions.

Cat rescues, including the one I volunteer for, are all at full stretch at the moment, partly because of irresponsible idiots who can’t be arsed to spay their cats & then either dump them & their kittens or hand them over to rescues. I’ve heard some bloody awful stories.

The OP is clearly not an irresponsible idiot so that’s all fine.

TheMaddHugger · 11/08/2024 07:38

BMW6 · 11/08/2024 07:13

Silly bugger.
😂

and @BiscuityBoyle

so sorry different place in the world and no sleep for 30 odd hours caught up to me 💀💨😁😂🤣

LuckysDadsHat · 11/08/2024 07:41

Why don't you lock your garden gate? You say your garden is very secure so the kittens can't get out, so lock the access that they use. It's very simple.

hippopandamouse · 11/08/2024 08:00

Barrenfieldoffucks · 10/08/2024 23:31

God, between this and the 'wrong windows' thread it is really obvious where all the knobbers are hanging out tonight.

You're not unreasonable, obviously OP. Not sure why you're getting such odd responses.

Completely missed the windows thread but I’m curious now! You’ve hit the nail on the head! If they read some of my responses they’d see I’ve done everything I can to help the kitten situation 🐱

OP posts:
Sharptonguedwoman · 11/08/2024 08:08

Cobblersorchard · 10/08/2024 23:23

Kittens should not be outside! We live very rurally and ours didn’t set a foot outside until they were 8 months old and absolutely never at night.

please see thread. Vet is fine with it.

Sharptonguedwoman · 11/08/2024 08:08

TheDandyLion · 10/08/2024 23:34

Why are the kittens outside?

See OPs thread. Vet is fine with it.

CosmicDaisyChain · 11/08/2024 08:13

hippopandamouse · 10/08/2024 23:18

Thank you for your opinion however she was pregnant when we took her on. Kittens are due second vaccinations next weekend and she has been spayed! 🙃 garden is fully fenced in and vet was happy for us to allow them into it. Just trying my best over here haha!

So not fully protected yet then and being carted all over the place like toys. It's not looking good OP. This was my mum's family when we were kids. Every other neighbour was a relative. My dad moved us 30 miles away in the end because he couldn't move without relatives in and out of the house. It was too much.

ACynicalDad · 11/08/2024 08:16

This feels like the rough and the smooth of living with family, there must be some plus sides. Can’t be long before the cats go to their homes.

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