to report this to the police, even though I am technically implicating myself?

[Imperrysmum]

My local park is locked overnight and isn’t opened until 6am. It’s a huge park but in one area part of the fence is missing so I squeeze through and go into the park to walk my dog at 4am (he is an XL bully so I like to go the park when nobody is about)

The last few mornings when I have been walking round by the pond there have been a couple of men sitting on the benches next to the pond “feeding the ducks”. I noticed they have black bin liners next to them too. I’m pretty sure I recognise these men from working in a takeaway restaurant.

I am concerned they are trying to catch ducks. I hope i’m wrong, but I just can’t see why two adult men would sit feeding the ducks at 4am?! Especially as the park is officially closed and they have bin liners next to them.

AIBU to report this to the police, even though I’ll be implicating myself too?

A public park being closed does not make it private property, and does not make you a responsible dog owners.

Responsible dog owners don't own XL Bullies.

You are trespassing by doing that.
For the love of God tell me you don't let your dog off the lead.

Is it even legal to own an XL Bully? Is it muzzled? Is it registered?

OP is now in bits in a bin bag.

Anyone else think ‘feeding the ducks’ was some sort of double entendre for gay sex? I was most astonished to read on they were literally feeding ducks.

Or shredded in a spring roll.

I think feeding the pony means something gay.

I think those shouting about racism say more about their own prejudices than those of the OP! She hasn't mentioned the race of these guys, or the type of cuisine offered by the takeaway...it could be a pies and mash kind of takeaway, fish and chips (other dishes, including ones potentially containing duck, are available at these establishments), burger bar...

Dunno what fish and chip shops you frequent but we don't get battered duck in ours 😕
Duck pie and mash is a new one on me too (plus pie and mash takeaway needs to be a thing, didn't know it was - if it is it needs to make its way here lol

Think you got your double entendres mixed up. How embarassing for you.

Genuinely not remotely embarrassed in the slightest 😂

We obviously live in very different parts of the country! East London has a pie and mash shop on virtually every street corner and they don't always specify the contents of their pies. I've added a screenshot of a typical menu below.

You may remember the horse meat in ready meals scandal of 2013, when horse meat (sometimes 100%) was discovered in "beef" burgers and ready meals such as lasagnes. When meat is obtained from illicit sources, the seller obviously does not advertise this! But how confident are you in the provenance of the meat in the saveloy or steak and kidney pie offered up on a typical fish and chip shop menu such as the one I've linked to below?

Fish and chip shop menu below:

@ToplessWordle The OP says they serve duck though, so Mystery Meat Pie & Mash isn't relevant, nor is a fish n chip shop without any duck on the menu.

Exactly

Ah yes, you are right about that. So not necessarily pie 'n' mash or fish & chips then. I still maintain however that you can't be sure about the ethnicity of the guys in the park just because they work somewhere that serves duck. A quick look on Just Eat reveals that duck is a feature on many different takeaway menus where I am, including a burger bar that offers the Duck Special of "bbq base with mushroom, spring onions and duck", a pizza place advertising the Duck Special Pizza with "BBQ sauce, roast duck, spring onions and mushrooms", and a salad bar with salads from around the world including a Crispy Duck and Noodle Salad. These are in addition to various Indian and Chinese takeaways which seem to be what some posters have concluded that the OP must be talking about.

Oh my god OP, you can’t just leave us hanging like this! What happened on your surveillance operation?

Either, absolutely nothing, or absolutely nothing 🤣

My guess is, the 2 men were actually 2 columns of ducks in raincoats and they have captured OP to prevent her from talking about their duck business.

🦆

I really want an update, I'm thinking they've all been arrested for breaking into the park to stalk in bushes/steal ducks jokes obviously

Has the op been
a - abducted?
b - arrested?
or
c - became the menu special?

Abduckted, obviously.

Scooby (xl bully) and Shaggy (the OP) jumped out of the bushes and confronted the two men. Luckily the local Sheriff and his Deputy just happened to be passing and arrested the varmints. Turns out it was old Mr Anderson and his sidekick Chet Atkins from the Hardware store up there yonder on main street - all dressed up as Chinese Takeaway Chefs. They had found an old gold mine down by the duck pond and were smuggling the gold out of the park in pretend ducks via the black bags.

And they would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for them pesky kids.

About as real as this is gonna get.😎

That’s brilliant. But I’m genuinely interested in what batshit stuff the OP will come up with next. The park becoming private property once it’s locked is my favourite bit so far.

I don't think they're coming back

I would suggest that the OP sitting in a bush at four in the morning on a surveillance mission, with a pair of binoculars, trying to spot 'Duck snatchers' is a little on the bat radar too.

More Miami Duck than Miami Vice.

Hi all. Thought I’d do a quick update as a few of you had been speculating I had ended up on the specials menu.

So…I was wrong.

Waited in the bush last Sunday morning for nearly 2 hours until they finally turned up at 5am.

They sat on the bench for a while, feeding the ducks then stripped off and swam in the pond. Meanwhile i’m stuck inside the bush, with CHRONIC cramp in my calf from crouching for so long, nearly in tears with the pain while wrestling my dogs mouth shut so he doesn’t bark at the naked men swimming past us in the pond.

When they got out they dried off with towels from the black bags and got out a flask of tea(?) to drink.

So yep, I was wrong. Not snatching ducks.