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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give in to DD1 and let her have her hair cut

63 replies

eandh · 15/04/2008 16:49

I have been growing dd1 (shes 3.7 foing on 21 at the moment ) hair since she was born and she has wavy/ringlet hair (I've just taken a pic and put it on profile)

I love her hair and she gets loads of comments on it but now she wants me to take her to hairdressers to have it cut off.

I said 'no' because I know she'd want long hair again and wouldnt understand she'd have to wait.

I am not being unreasonable am I (DH said its her hair and we should let her!)

OP posts:
edam · 15/04/2008 16:51

I don't think YABU but I'd probably let her have it cut - agree with dh, it's her hair. However, I take your point about her not understanding it won't grow back instantly - so would only get it chopped off if she really knew what it meant.

FunkyGlassSocks · 15/04/2008 16:52

YABU imo. She is old enough to know if she wants it cut, and to face the repercussions if she doesnt like it.

I've looked at the photo and it is lovely hair so I can see why you want to keep it long but it is her hair not yours. My DD would find hair that long very restrictive.

hana · 15/04/2008 16:53

maybe she wants the experience of going to hairdressers? I'd get it trimmed, hair always grows back. am not too precious about things like that (not suggesting you are)

hanaflower · 15/04/2008 16:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rodeo · 15/04/2008 16:53

Think she is a bit young to decide for herself, it is lovely lovely hair
Maybe you could take her to the hairdressers and to have a minute trim (or even the hairdresser snipping the air!) Maybe she just wants the fuss of having her hair done, she is a female after all!

goingfor3 · 15/04/2008 16:54

Just get a couple of inches cut, maybe she just likes the idea of going to the hairdressers like mummy does.

Original poster
eandh · 15/04/2008 16:54

hana - I am I think its because I always wanted long hair when I was little and my Mum had it cut into a pudding bowl bob for years (still not quite recovered from trauma )

OP posts:
CrackerOfNuts · 15/04/2008 16:54

I'd just let her have it cut to her shoulders, that way it is still long enough tie back if needed and won't take that long to regrow to where it is now.

Original poster
eandh · 15/04/2008 16:56

She does go to hairdressers for a trim every few months (and insists they wash it like Mummy)

I am wondering whether its because its hair wash night (she started on about this when I mentioned hair wash)

OP posts:
LazyLinePainterJane · 15/04/2008 16:58

Well.....when it's cut she will have to learn that it won't grow back immediately. Would be my thought.

TBH, it looks a bit too long to be anything other than an annoyance IMPO ....

DirtySexyMummy · 15/04/2008 16:59

It is her hair though, not yours, so agree with your DH here I'm afraid. I think individuality is so important.

Her hair is beautiful though, so I can understand why you don't want to.

My DS has long, gorgeous hair. I love it, and his dad wants it cut all the time! But, DS says no, in fact he hates it when we even tie it back. If you ask 'do you want your hair cut' he will categorically say 'NO THANK YOU'. So, it stays long, and I stay happy

Original poster
eandh · 15/04/2008 17:00

Oooo looks like DH is right (damn damn damn !!) well I need to go and bath both of them (dd2 hair is still a mop so wont take 2 seconds) I think I'll try and explain that if we let her have it cut and she doesnt like it theres no point crying/tantrumming about it

Its not that often she wears it down as she likes it in a ponytail or plaits so it'd have to be left long enough to do that for preschool

OP posts:
Blu · 15/04/2008 17:01

Well, my preference would be to cut it, so I don't have the dilemma you do.

I think long hair is restricting and a faff for little girls (I HATED it when I was little), and they all have that pony-tail style, and look more individual with a nice short cut

frogs · 15/04/2008 17:01

But aren't you effectively doing the same to her as your mum did to you, just the other way round? If she wants it short, let her. You don't have to go for a no. 2 crop, just a cut to shoulder length. Washing and brushing will be a lot less faff too (though I confess I am the owner of three children who wouldn't recognise a hairbrush if it bit them on the bum ).

Dropdeadfred · 15/04/2008 17:02

my dd1 (ho's 16 in June) has never been allowed her hair cut..sometimes hse has moaned and then a few months later has always thanked me (grudgingly at times) for not letting her!!

I still moan at my mum for letting me have myhair all cut off at 6 yrs old...

mankyscotslass · 15/04/2008 17:02

DD's hair is exactly like your DD's..she is 4 now and has asked to have it cut because no matter what we use on it it always tugs, so there are tears and tantrums everyday before nursery as it has to be neat. She only wants it short to avoid the hairbrush.
DH says to let her get it cut, but I am sure it will go wild when short (mine was the same) and I would be the one who would need to wet and style it every morning before school, so until she is old enough to do it herself, I say keep it long! Unless I get to the end of my tether with the hairbrushing and yelling.....

frogs · 15/04/2008 17:03

A chin-length bob is pretty much maintenance-free ime.

frogs · 15/04/2008 17:03

at the notion of 'styling' a child's hair before pre-school.

hana · 15/04/2008 17:07

agree frogs! my 3 year old has chin length bob and I cut her fringe when it gets too long. V easy to look after . quick comb when I remember.......!

belgo · 15/04/2008 17:07

My dd1 was exactly the same age when she wanted her beautiful hair all cut off. I didn't want to have it cut but then she made the decision when she decided to cut it herself! Just a few locks but enough to make me understand that she really wanted it cut. It is cut into a short bob now and she's happy. A lot easier to wash and comb.

belgo · 15/04/2008 17:07

oh and she's still beautiful long or short hair, and so will your dd be, eandh.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 15/04/2008 17:11

My hair goes in ringlets if short, but just slight waves when long.
I used to hate when my parents insisted I cut it as it just made it more curly.

mankyscotslass · 15/04/2008 17:19

DD's hair is like mine, when I was 5 I wanted it cut into a bob. It stuck out everywhere and needed to be wet and blow dried into some sort of order every morning, or I looked like a haystack! It took my mum 30 minutes every day to sort it out! It really does go wild when short, even now.

Twinkie1 · 15/04/2008 17:23

I hate youngsters with really long hair beacuse parents have this image in their minds of what young girls should look like and they all have long hair - DD has had a chin length bob since she was - well since it grew to that length - is easy to wash and comb - she doesn't get nits - just has front tied or clipped back and the number of people that comment on her beautiful hair is amazing.

I wasn't allowed to have my hair cut short until I could pay for it myself and it was the first thing I did when I earnt a wage - haven't had really long hair since!

belgo · 15/04/2008 17:24

I always had to have short hair as a child. Strangely enough I've kept it long all my adult life!

Twinkie - would you let her grow it if she wanted to?

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