Quiet neighbours now making noise.

[OpalBird]

My neighbours talked to us about the noise coming from our property. OK, my son has a hobby that does make an annoying noise. Since then we have made sure he's doing it less but we obviously aren't going to stop him completely. They haven't said anything since and I think we've been considerate in reducing the number of hours our son does his thing.

It seems like they've now decided that they are allowed to make more noise. We've been neighbours for years and they've always been quiet. Now we get occasional music or radio in their backyard. When I asked them about it they said they have always worn headphones to be considerate but they don't really like listening that way, so they thought it was fair they got to have their hobbies the way they enjoy them best as well.

Would I be unreasonable to complain to them again? There is a difference between children playing and music when they have the option of headphones.

Why bother? They're basically saying they can tolerate his basketball if you tolerate their radio. Sounds fair enough to me.

Three or four times a day, half an hour a time, equates to an hour and a half to two hours of basketball.

Their music yesterday was for two hours.

Why is your son allowed to make noise for two hours a day, but they aren’t?

In answer to your question: yes, you are unreasonable. Hugely so.

We've been neighbours since my son was a toddler and this is the first time we've had an issue. We're not all bad on this side of the fence.

If I'd tried to "take" any of my kids to the park (less than five minutes walk away in our case) when they were thirteen, they'd cringe themselves inside out and never speak to me again! 😅

Me too. We live really rural but next to a busy road. One year the people over the road from us bought their kid a quad bike and he spent all day going up and down the strip on the other side of the road mindlessly. Nothing else, just up and down that strip.

The sound reduced us both to tears of frustration and affected our MH to an appalling degree.

Eventually I went over and asked the neighbour to stop his kid from doing it eight hours a day and it got reduced.

We've been here since 1996 and nothing has bothered us like this. The road, the silaging, the animals. It's all actually quite loud but this drove us batshit for weeks to the point we had to drive away and sit in a layby as soon as we heard the bike start up.

Eventually we heard a loud bang and the thing died and is still there rotting in the hedge of their field this last fifteen years.

A basketball bouncing like that would have the same effect. Music, unless it's thrash metal and loud, would not bother me in the slightest.

Pave the furthest corner of your garden then move the hoop to there. It's hard to believe you think allowing your son to bounce and bang a ball, multiple times a day, right beside your neighbour's house, still entitled you to total silence from them.

You can't possibly think you're being reasonable here @OpalBird

Someone bang bang banging a bloody football/basketball around the garden and walls and fences is supremely annoying. The little girl next door (5 y.o.) did this for around one and a half minutes the other day, (kept kicking her football against the party fence,) before her mom stopped her. Even that one and a half a minutes made me like >>> because it was annoying. Thankfully my neighbour is lovely and considerate and stopped her child doing it very quickly.

Someone having it as their hobby and doing it constantly would drive me up the wall!

There are places for this kind of thing. Get your son to use them! Take him to a public place to do this, and stop being an annoying, inconsiderate neighbour!

But they are still allowed to listen to music whenever they want!

Could you not put the post in your garden and your son play on grass which would be quieter?
Personally I like to see children playing outside rather than glued to screens. However as your neighbours have already talked to you about the noise you have no leg to stand on complaining about them playing music. It's fair.

He needs to go play basketball at the park. At 14 he is more than capable of walking to the park to play. I'm really skeptical about there been no hoops at the park, every park in our town has hoops. Every park I've ever taken DD to around us has hoops, even the park in the tiny village my friend lives has a hoop. Otherwise he needs to join a basketball club or play at the local leisure centre. Hours a day of basketball thudding is not on and I'm amazed the neighbours haven't moaned before.

IMO basketball hoops (like huge trampolines with squeeky springs) do not belong in normal gardens and certainly not near the houses.

Are you expecting them to return to silence?

'Only half hour a time, a few times a day'.
So in an average week your neighbours spend over 10 hours listening to your little darling bouncing a basketball but you're complaining about their 'occasional' music and radio. Wow.

YABVU and if you were my neighbour we'd have come to blows a long time ago.

Have you investigated local basketball clubs? If your son could be out at a club two or three times during the week it would help, and it sounds like he would really enjoy it.

If they're just doing it to make a point, it would be nice. It served them well for over a decade.

Can you come to an arrangement that your son tries to play basketball sometimes when their out, ie when at work or if at least one of them is out on a certain night in the evening. Is there a club your son could join where he can play basketball to his heart's content and then limit it at home.

I love seeing our old neighbour's son playing football/basketball (luckily only ever for 5 mins at a time)/with friends in the garden and we can hear him, but it's not a constant and varies which I think names the difference here.

I guess they don't see why they should be considerate any more if it's really getting to them.

No, this has got to be a wind up 😂

Music, unless it's thrash metal and loud, would not bother me in the slightest

OP should thank her lucky stars that I'm not her neighbour because that's what she'd be getting, blasted through the fence/hedge for the same amount of hours I had to listen to her darling child's boing, boing, boing 🏀 🔪 🤘

1. They probably had to wear headphones to hear their music over the "thump thump thump" of your son's repeated random sessions throughout the day
2. FGS talk to your neighbours and tell them he will do A MAXIMUM of 1hrs practice a day AT FIXED TIMES, no deviations from this, so they know when they will be impacted and for how long.
3. You have clearly somehow tuned out how annoying the repeated thumping noise is
4. And are you serious?? Basketball noise doesn't bother you but music does ?!?!?!?!

How has listening to your child’s incessant basketball served them well?

You can’t honestly be this deluded.

YOU are a nightmare neighbour.

You need to take him to a basketball court then, away from houses that can be bothered.

That sound is horrible.

no, it served YOU well

They were wearing headphones to be kind and considerate, and because they never had the same respect back from you, they’ve stopped.
And it absolutely is directed at you, and good for them for doing that.
How on EARTH is that them being unfair? You’re deluded and entitled.

It didn’t really serve them well if it was a consideration to their neighbours and they’d have preferred not to use headphones, so as they don’t get the same courtesy from their neighbours they’ve decided not to bother. Seems fair to me.

Why would you think you deserve silence but they don’t?

If you do lack awareness enough to think you should talk to them about this, definitely don’t mention the working from home. A noisy family expecting silence from me because they’ve decided to use a home as a workplace would make me feel petty enough to turn the music up louder.

Do you not understand that you cannot expect silence from them because you’ve set the precedent? They tried to be considerate by going to the extreme end of noise minimising (headphones for music is unbelievably considerate) whilst you’ve gone the extreme opposite end and only now want to meet in the middle because they’re acting like normal neighbours and it’s bothering you.

Do not go round there with any expectation of them not listening to their radio. Go round and apologise for being utterly selfish and inconsiderate and assure them that the basketball noise will stop. Don’t even attempt to broach the music situation.