What’s pretty these days

[Starsineyes91]

Anybody else confused what counts as pretty/attractive these days.

It’s like you’re only allowed to look natural if you’re very young and naturally pretty.

Its so confusing every woman and her dog is expected to have a face full of filler and be deep orange at all times with obligatory fake black eyelashes.

I think society has forgotten what a natural pleasant face looks like, I see women with barefaced or light make-up being called drug addicts or other nasty slurs, because they have some natural texture and shadows.

Might get me flamed but some of the women doing the shaming of more natural women are plain Jane’s who have paid a lot to look like unattractive transvestites. But so many men will choose them over an attractive natural girl.

Don’t get me started on the obsession with filtered photos. Society has become so toxic for girls and women.

I am 43, I wear no make up at all except in the odd occasion. I am told I look pretty. I am lucky that my man hates the fake look, though I don't chose my look for any other reason than my own convenience.

I know nobody who expects women to wear full make up or fillers or what have you.

It may be the circles you move in OP that are giving you this impression.

Beauty comes from within.

OK that must be very specific to your area. It's definitely not like that in London

People in London get filler and Botox

I do see some women who look how you describe where I live (Belfast) but they are so few and far between that they stand out for that very reason. If prettiness is the objective, then most of them would probably look better without any intervention. But I believe it's a glamorous, exaggerated look they are after, rather than prettiness.

Women have worn makeup for millennia though and it changes with fashions like anything else. In the eighties I troweled on foundation that was too white, big stripes of blusher, all the eyeliner and crimson lipstick. I was like Robert Smith from the Cure, but with a slightly steadier hand🤣 My made up face was nothing like my actual face. It was basically a mask. I have been through several incarnations since then and now have virtually no eyebrows to speak of for my trouble. I currently wear minimal makeup or none.

What does it matter?

Anyone decent knows that it's what's on the on the inside that counts.

This obsession with "looking young" is just masking insecurities.

Botox, fake eye lashes, implants etc... all utterly unnecessary and not attractive.

This is the most sensible post I've ever read on MN!

I agree, it's a bloody awful look though. It doesn't make anyone look pretty. It's just fashionable amongst some women right now.

I think what a lot of young women don't realise is that it makes them look older because people associate the look with older women trying to look younger. Older women who have botox etc don't look particularly younger either. They all end up with this universal 'had work done' look, which makes them just look like they've had work done. In my opinion...

I know a lot of men between the ages of 25 and 60. When the subject of women/girlfriends/attraction have come up, they all say its a look they don't particularly like and many say it would put them off a woman. Or that they wouldn't want to be seen with a woman with the 'fake' look.

In much the same way that a lot of women say they don't want to be seen with unshaven men, men in scruffy clothes, men who don't look after themselves or men who look like they spend too long in the gym etc.

I'm sure some men probably do find it attractive but it's by no means the majority.

There are social codes and these differ regionally and also amongst different socioeconomic groups within a region.

Social codes, whilst influenced by fashion, involve powerful messaging. The judgement relating to social codes go beyond notions of 'pretty' and instead tap into ideas about virtue, respect and manners.

I wonder if, in the OP's region, presenting yourself without overt evidence of spending time and money on appearance is viewed as 'not making a suitable effort' and therefore rude/disrespectful of others.

Being respectful and polite is a pretty universal expectation in all social groups. Each group has their own norms about what this involves, and alongside this, how this is shown/communicated.

I would hate to live/mix in a social group where this was the case. I don't wear make up. I hate the feel of it, and I am also health conscious so would not go for invasive procedures.

Agree it’s a very niche look, and those sporting it all appear to be going to the same person for their eyebrows, extensions and filler! But it is only a small percentage of young women, and is definitely driven by social media/reality TV “norms”.

What I think is more worrying is just how young some of the women getting fillers and botox are. People don’t need botox in their twenties! WTF will they end up like when this look is no longer fashionable or they can’t afford it?

Definitely not a thing in my city (south coast)

I read somewhere that women in Liverpool favour that look, but I don’t think it’s as widespread as you might believe OP.

Get off social media is my advice.

Yes I'm in cities daily and it's a niche look, most people look natural

In my social group of about 20 women, one has had lip filler and possibly 2 have had botox. Mid 30s living in London.
I think you need to find a new group of friends, get off the gossip forums and stop reading the tabloids.

Goodness. You are 'confused' aren't you. And somewhat easily so! You're confusing shaming women for their appearance with some sort of feminist stance. Anyone who is remotely concerned about women and girls does not refer to them as 'unattractive transvestites'. Why not start with understanding the basics of misogyny and women's issues, then perhaps progress to discussing make up when you're less confused?

Policing? She's making a very valid point! You're a prime example of making abnormality normal. Thank God there are still women with integrity and not obsessed with their appearance otherwise we will be doomed.

In my social group of about 20 women, one has had lip filler and possibly 2 have had botox. Mid 30s living in London.

It’s more of a younger thing. I see lots of 20 somethings with lip filler in particular in London, it’s often not the massive lips look but it’s still there. The amount of places offering it tells you something for one!

Who bloody cares?

This

In my particular part of my large south coast town it's many women both wc & mc aged 30s up to 50s who have obvious fillers and Botox - I'm 47 and despite wearing make up & having highlights I feel quite plain or 'different' next to them.
My best mates are from out of town though so have a natural look which I fit in with.

I’m not a fan of these procedures myself and what I notice is that celebrities who turn up of something like a celebrity quiz show have sometimes clearly had so much done that
i actually don’t recognise them!

I don't know about anyone one else, but I don't care what anyone looks like nor take much notice 🤷🏼‍♀️

"Its so confusing every woman and her dog is expected to have a face full of filler and be deep orange at all times with obligatory fake black eyelashes."

I don't know what circles you're moving in but I don't know anyone who's thinks that look is attractive.

If you are hanging out with people who think orange tans and duck lips are normal then you need to change the people you hang out with. This kind of look isn’t normal, and it certainly isn’t attractive.

Must be a specific part of the NW tbh, as I am Manchester based and it isn't the case here, either.

^^ This.

In my social circle, no woman is expected to have a face full of filler and be deep orange at all times with obligatory fake black eyelashes.

We laugh at them.

You are right, of course but the OP is stating her concern that women who are presenting naturally, without piles of makeup, are being insulted, not just by men, but specifically by other women. So that is something to care about, I think. Why women would treat each other that way .

You can't complain about people insulting others, while doing so in your own post.

Rather hypocritical.

@MasterBeth

In my social circle, no woman is expected to have a face full of filler and be deep orange at all times with obligatory fake black eyelashes.

We laugh at them.

Why would you laugh at someone just because they chose to present themselves in a different way then you do ?

It truly is sad! I grew up putting on makeup because it's the only way I felt "pretty". However , as I got older I realised my life is too busy to keep up and many times I've gone out with no makeup or at least VERY light makeup and it's a good feeling. The comments I hate the most are "are you sick" or "you look so different" no shit because society is used to seeing unrealistic and over filtered faces everywhere. For example, Julia Roberts in the film Sleeping with the enemy, you rarely see that kind of bare face minimal makeup kind of beauty around anymore, and dressed quite modest also. Don't get me wrong, there are many many beautiful women today also but it's just so different!