To stop lift sharing because she criticises my driving?

[wmbargo]

Me and my colleague have started alternating car shares. Long commute we do twice a week, I do one day and she does the other.

Colleague has told me she thinks she’s autistic so I’m unsure if this is relevant. But she’s very boastful about herself (I’m such a confident driver!) and very easily puts down others. Shes done nothing but criticise my driving, I drive too slow (I do the speed limit), I take too long too slow down and I break too suddenly etc (I don’t think I do but anyway).

Now I’ve been with her when she’s nearly crashed into two cars, missed our exit because she was trying to be a dick and be in the wrong lane to cut traffic and I say nothing. I don’t like criticising people.

But I’m really irked by her criticism of me when she’s far from perfect.

Stop sharing the lifts.

Try talking to her first. Say "please stop criticising my driving, otherwise I don't think we can share lifts any longer". Be prepared to remind her a few times, but if it continues then YANBU to stop the arrangement.

Drive her into a bloody wall.
Seriously, that would do my nut in. Can you not just say something? Like, 'Please stop criticising my driving. It's very distracting, which is why I don't do it to you when I notice your mistakes'.

Tell her that the lift sharing isn’t working for you and you can’t do this anymore. When she complains just say no you won’t be sharing the driving and that you will be driving on your own from now on. She can ask other people.

Say for you it is not working, she is too critical. Also it might be better for you and more relaxing to drive on your own.

'Sorry colleague, but I'm not going straight home on those two days so you'll have to drive yourself in.'

Or

'Really, colleague? Pot and kettle. Remember last week when you almost ran into another car/missed the exit/drove up someone's arse?'

Or

'If you don't like my driving, the door handle to get out is right next to you. No? Then shut up.'

Aside from being a back seat driver, she doesn’t sound safe so I’d stop sharing just on that basis

Also “ if you don’t like my driving you can drive yourself “

I hate it when people criticize my driving. Sometimes even non drivers have a go! I've been driving 30+ years and never had an accident.

This. What more reasons do you need?

Stop the car. Park at kerbside. Ask her to get out and walk. If she doesn't, take your keys and do so yourself. Autism is not an excuse to treat others badly. Don't allow it. You're the one doing a favour.

Do you want her to change or do you want to stop sharing with her? Either is absolutely fine, you don't need to just put up with it. But be very clear on what you want and communicate it clearly. Usually better to err towards being blunt if she is autistic.

this. she sounds like an unsafe driver too.

Why would you want to be in a car with a dangerous driver?

If she's autistic then it would be reasonable to give her fair warning of the way her behaviour comes across to you in words of one syllable.

"I believe that I'm a perfectly safe driver. I find your frequent criticism of my driving so irritating that unless you can stop doing that I'm going to have to pull out of this arrangement."

I'd ditch her but if you'd rather not quit the share maybe tell her you find her talking distracting so she better be quiet all the way as she wouldn't want you to make any more driving errors.

I would try and jokingly criticise her back when she criticises you like 'well at least I didn't crash like you' etc and if that doesn't make a difference just tell her that you don't want to lift share any more because you don't feel relaxed when she is there.

YANBU. Anyone that overly criticises my driving can find an alternative form of transport - my own mother was included in that sentiment for many years after I learnt to drive as she just couldn’t keep her mouth shut!

The OP isn't "doing her a favour": they're sharing the driving for their mutual benefit. The OP's still completely within her rights to pull out, but the other woman isn't the ungrateful recipient of the OP's generosity.

Drop her at the bus stop the very next time she does it. Seriously.

Bugger the criticism, I wouldn't get in the car with her again because she doesn't sound safe!

Tell her that this isn't working for you because you don't feel safe with her driving and you don't like her criticism of your own driving. Therefore the arrangement is at an end as of now.

Seriously, that would send me doolally.

Text her that it isn't working out and you want to do your own thing.

Sorted.

Stop the lift share and tell the self righteous cunt to fuck off and drive herself if she is so good.

Some people - fucking unbelievable.

Now I’ve been with her when she’s nearly crashed into two cars, missed our exit because she was trying to be a dick and be in the wrong lane to cut traffic and I say nothing. I don’t like criticising people.

You need to remind her of this. Twats like her get away with being twats because no one challenges them.