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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'Sneaking' two extra children into hotel room booked for two adults and two children

692 replies

AlbertCamel · 09/08/2024 09:04

AIBU in thinking this may have implications regarding insurance etc?

Friend is off on holiday later today to a large hotel abroad with her DH and four DC aged between 4 and 16. Not a package, no meals included and flights were booked separately.

The room has a small bedroom, bathroom and living area with a sofa bed. It sleeps 4. They've booked it for two adults and two children. That's the maximum number of people allowed.

She wants to check in with DH, their two youngest boys and all their luggage, and have the two oldest boys wait outside until they're 'sneaked' in a little while later.

I think that whilst this is logistically possible, it will have implications but not sure what these implications might be. Friend thinks there's no problem with this and nobody will bat an eyelid.

AIBU in saying it's not a good idea?

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 10/08/2024 18:33

HVfan · 10/08/2024 18:23

Their choices don’t have consequences for you. Why do you care if they are thrown out of hotel, charged extra, die in a fire… being dramatic with the last one I hope they are fine. I think it’s not about being cheap but a matter wanting all the kids in the same room as them for safety. It’s very hard for hotels to manage anything with more than 2 kids in a group. Especially in another country I’d want the kids in the room with myself. Not next door.

Not even a 16 year old with 2 siblings?

The other option is one parent in each room with 2 children. It isn't difficult.

Why so defensive? I don't think the OP cares, and neither do I, but she has an opinion as do I and many others on this thread.

Summertimer · 10/08/2024 18:37

Hucklemuckle · 09/08/2024 10:57

I've never had to give my passport details to a hotel 🫤

Show quote history

The DH is over in Europe all the time for work. He says they always look at your passport at check in. Of course he’s not on all inclusive package deal or booking through a company

BettyBardMacDonald · 10/08/2024 18:44

KM123456 · 10/08/2024 18:27

I work as a chambermaid/housekeeper and HATED people like your friend. Too many people in a too small space, garbage and towels overflowing, and not given credit by management for the work I had to do. She is a thief of services.

Thank you. I'm sorry you had to deal with people like that.

Can't even imagine the state the bathrooms were in.

Summertimer · 10/08/2024 18:47

Mumsnet is a funny old place. So many people get all self righteous about screen time, people’s diets and defending schools giving detention for forgetting a ruler. But at the same time here some condone fraud.

Heythrop84 · 10/08/2024 19:04

In my working life I have twice been a fire marshal. I was also trained before H&S got over involved in everything and training include fighting real fires!In a drill or emergency we do head counts which is why visitors are signed in and out. If there was a fire in the hotel and the parents and children overcome by smoke staff would only be looking for two children. Could she live with the fact she was responsible for her children being burnt alive. She may think she is clever but she is utterly stupid and needs telling in no uncertain terms!

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm · 10/08/2024 19:26

I work at a hotel, at night. One of the first things I do coming on shift at 11 is print a full list of guests in the hotel, and then add to it as I check guests in. This list is to give to attending fire fighters in the event of a fire. Make of that what you will.

PreciousMahoney · 10/08/2024 19:32

Thing too is, the older kid is 16. Good bloody luck trying to deal with their rebellious stage when they can just say well you lied and cheated to take us on holiday.

Actually I do agree that its not the most heinous crime, but quite honestly apart from the cheating aspect... holidays are supposed to be relaxing and I can't see tripping over kids on lilos on the ground on my way for a piss in the middle of the night being condusive to chilling out.

I'd rather pay!

newfriend05 · 10/08/2024 19:38

I bucked in with my sister one night in Greece ..but had a room booked ( I couldn't get a flight for the actually day so got in late the night before ... when I took my paperwork to reception.. to get my room they said to me , we saw you last night .. they thought I was going to ask to buy an all inclusive band .. I would of been turfed out if I had not booked like I had

ExpatAl · 10/08/2024 19:53

No wonder we’re unpopular abroad. She should have paid for a place that houses six.

cannellonies · 10/08/2024 20:03

Anotherparkingthread · 10/08/2024 16:58

That's a lovely collection of stories.

I don't have any kids nor do I want any, so none clogging up any places I might want to stay.

Show quote history

Fair enough.

fetchacloth · 10/08/2024 20:10

Fire regulations are there for a reason and this is it.

rosyAndMoo · 10/08/2024 20:15

Hotel manifests are given to the fire crew. They then know how many people they are looking for. They will do a head count to ensure everyone is out. If two extra kids aren’t on the manifest, but are counted, then they will miss two other people potentially. Also if they are rebooked in the event of a fire or other malfunction, the transport will only be for 4 not six and they may not be given the same type of room ie a studio that sleep 4 not a 1 bed apartment if that’s all that’s available.
I don’t think you are being unreasonable in pointing this out to your friend

LaraThot · 10/08/2024 20:18

Live a little. Can't spend life worrying about what ifs.

PreciousMahoney · 10/08/2024 20:21

Am asking honestly about the fire thing. I get in a residential home firefighters can be told theres 6 adults and a dog for instance. But even if there is a fire register with a list of hotel occupants, surely in a hotel this is fluid?

Folk out clubbing others visiting someone in a room....how does that work?

rosyAndMoo · 10/08/2024 20:22

I actually hope they get given wrist bands on arrival. This would restrict the elder two from being able to use the pool etc. people are so cheap!

Sennelier1 · 10/08/2024 20:27

Her boys will sleep in the room, but what about breakfast? Will they always go out or try and have it of the buffet with two extra guests?

MairifaeInsch · 10/08/2024 20:40

I can't be judgemental as I have sneaked 2 dogs into a room through the window.

Maverickess · 10/08/2024 20:54

PreciousMahoney · 10/08/2024 20:21

Am asking honestly about the fire thing. I get in a residential home firefighters can be told theres 6 adults and a dog for instance. But even if there is a fire register with a list of hotel occupants, surely in a hotel this is fluid?

Folk out clubbing others visiting someone in a room....how does that work?

Edited

It is fluid and the plans are based on that, not just for guests but for staff too.

When I'm the duty manager I know how many staff I'm expecting and their location area (chefs kitchen, bar staff the bar etc) - but I don't know their exact location, it's just not feasible to have every member of staff report their exact location each time they move, chefs go to get ingredients, bar staff go to the cellar, waiting staff deliver room service - in the event that one of them doesn't report I'd tell the fire service where they might be but especially in the case of housekeeping they could be anywhere in the hotel realistically.

And guests come and go, and even if you asked them to sign in/out it's highly unlikely each person would, every time.

It'd be likely treated like a fire in a shopping centre or supermarket, somewhere you can never be sure how many people are there - the fire service search for as long as they can or until they've cleared each area.

The list is a starting point, but not the be all and end all.

PreciousMahoney · 10/08/2024 20:59

Maverickess · 10/08/2024 20:54

It is fluid and the plans are based on that, not just for guests but for staff too.

When I'm the duty manager I know how many staff I'm expecting and their location area (chefs kitchen, bar staff the bar etc) - but I don't know their exact location, it's just not feasible to have every member of staff report their exact location each time they move, chefs go to get ingredients, bar staff go to the cellar, waiting staff deliver room service - in the event that one of them doesn't report I'd tell the fire service where they might be but especially in the case of housekeeping they could be anywhere in the hotel realistically.

And guests come and go, and even if you asked them to sign in/out it's highly unlikely each person would, every time.

It'd be likely treated like a fire in a shopping centre or supermarket, somewhere you can never be sure how many people are there - the fire service search for as long as they can or until they've cleared each area.

The list is a starting point, but not the be all and end all.

Show quote history

Thank you so much for clarifying and I thought that would be the case.

The reason I asked is because there are so many posters saying that 'they would only look for 4 people ' and couldn't get my head round how that would be the case!

campertess · 10/08/2024 21:01

I wouldn't and couldn't do it because the guilt would show on my face and I would spend the holiday being nervous and jumpy whenever I saw a member of staff. The cleaners will also know how many should be in the room.

Lifeofthepartay · 10/08/2024 21:06

That's a lot of people for 1 room. I am even struggling to find rooms ( holiday inns and similar) to accommodate 2 adults and 2 kids, for some reason they are all now 3 people only for those rooms with a sofa bed 🤷‍♀️

Maverickess · 10/08/2024 21:09

PreciousMahoney · 10/08/2024 20:59

Thank you so much for clarifying and I thought that would be the case.

The reason I asked is because there are so many posters saying that 'they would only look for 4 people ' and couldn't get my head round how that would be the case!

Show quote history

People like to say it, especially when faced with guests who've tried to get a free ride, and (at least in the UK) most places are licenced for a certain number of people and areas inspected for emergency exits to make sure they're appropriate and placed well, so over occupation can prove an issue.

And I absolutely don't agree with what the OP's friend is doing, and yes if the worst happened then identifying people gets tricky if there's people there that the hotel are unaware of, but ime the fire service absolutely don't take your word for it, quite without extra snuck in guests, staff move around and mistakes happen (there's threads about people being given room keys to already occupied rooms for example) the fire service know all this and plan accordingly - we have bi-annual inspections and the building plans are checked and the evacuation plan.

As I said in a pp though, the most important thing is getting out if you hear the alarm, the only exception being if you're told it's a test/drill. Far too many people are complacent when it comes to fire alarms.

DisabledDemon · 10/08/2024 21:42

mitogoshi · 09/08/2024 09:10

Yes there's fire implications but 99.9% of the time this is irrelevant

True - but it's the 0.1% that leaves you with lifelong regrets.

ThePearlSloth · 10/08/2024 21:53

Well I think your basic point is reasonable but arguing with your friend, falling out about it and posting about it on mums net is, I think, unreasonable. As others have said it has nothing to do with you and I’m sure your friend will cope on holiday and everything will be fine. Move on…

HotelSneakerInner · 10/08/2024 22:01

Not sure I could do it to that level for a full holiday, but I have done it here in the uk for 1 night breaks with three kids (two teens and 1 5-8). The price would be ridiculous for literally somewhere to go into, sleep and get up when the little one easily fit between us in the big bed