Am I mad to consider this with a newborn?

[Planningatrip]

We’re wondering if it’s going to be feasible to go up to Scotland to see family this Christmas, and make a little weekend out of it perhaps and potter round the Christmas markets. If we did this we would be staying in a hotel/AirBnb for 2 or 3 nights and so would need to drive up in order to fit our pram and travel cot in. It’s a 3 hour drive, so we’d obviously have to stop several times.

Our baby could be anywhere between 5 and 8 weeks old, depending on when she’s born.

Naively I’m thinking this could actually be the easiest age. Yes we’ll be tired, but we’ll be tired wherever we are. Planning on breastfeeding so hopefully shouldn’t have to worry about bottles and the likes.

AIBU to think about it? Do I need a reality check?

I wouldn't have been able for this just purely due to recovery after birth. I had a very straight forward vaginal birth but recovery still takes time. The long car drive, and pottering around busy Christmas markets would've been an absolute no for me. The mental load of packing would've also drained me (I bottlefed so would've had to deal with packing all of that stuff and by that stage I was still figuring out how to make bottles for on the go 😅).

My baby would've been fine, travels well and as a newborn she fed well and slept well. But physically and mentally I wouldn't have been. A spa break in a hotel maybe, but defo not a city style Christmas market break!

I went away for a week with our 8wk old (2nd baby). I did no cooking and it was actually quite nice. I would have struggled with our 1st as I wasn't great at breastfeeding until about 10wks. I didn't have much bleeding after the birth and no major complications. Husband and family ran around sorting all the food, drinks, entertaining our eldest. It was bliss.

We planned our stops so our newborn wasn't too long in the car seat.

Book something with a late cancellation option and see how you feel. Could be lovely

Hard pass for me. I could still feel my C-section scat at that time, God bless whoever thought of easy chairs next to incubators! Granted, my DD was still a preemie at that stage, but even at 5 weeks corrected I was still lucky if I got to eat my dinner while still warm. Then you have to think of pumping/breastfeeding/formula prep, bottle cleaning and sterilisation, walking the burping mile, dealing with anything from possets to full-on where-is-the-local-launderette-that-takes-duvets vomits, health visitor appointments (if you're lucky and you don't get physios, oxygen, ot, district etc etc etc appointments), bath logistics, unbelievable mounds of laundry (and I'm lucky in terms of it being summer atm) and don't forget mother of all sleep deprivations for you, haemorrhoids and boobs developing a life of their own (if you're lucky and just get away with those). Let me put it this way - give yourself the Christmas gift of (relative) peace and quiet at home.

This is definitely possible, but when it comes to it, you may find you just cannot be bothered anymore! The sleep deprivation might have hit and it may seem too much effort.
Also, and especially if you end up bottle feeding, the amount of stuff you will need to take is Huge!!
But you may be up for it! Don't make a firm decision yet.

Agree that in theory it sounds totally doable but you'll have to wait and see how the birth goes so definitely book accommodation you can cancel or you're happy to lose the booking fee, just in case.

If you and the baby are healthy and you establish a good feeding plan then I say go for it! You're right this is probably the best age - we took our 8-week-old to Boston USA and drove down to Florida. Easiest trip we've ever done with them!

Depends on a lot. I agree with making plans flexible so you can take a call when you have more info. Mine were awful sleepers (for years - hopefully you have better luck!) So wouldn't have been great for us...

It is perfectly do-able. Did this with mine when they were a few weeks old. 6 hour drive to spend Christmas with family. It wasn’t an issue. Just allow extra time for breaks in the journey. Be kind to yourself and ask for help if you need it whilst you are in new surroundings. Enjoy 😊

I think it would be totally fine, unless you had some unforeseen complications around the birth?! Not sure why it would be an issue - sounds lovely!

We went away to Yorkshire when baby was about 8 weeks old - the journey was tough. She slept for some of it but towards the end she was just screaming and screaming while we drove through a very dark and wet rainy night and we kept having to stop so I could breast feed her and we got gradually more and more soaked stood by side of car to get her out each time, and by the time we got there I felt like a shrivelled husk and was completely overstimulated by the constant crying. After that it was fine. We had to take so much stuff though. Looking back, I kind of think why did we put ourselves through that.

I'd have done it with any of my 3. As long as you can cancel if you don't feel well enough or up to it, then go for it. Easiest time to transport them IMHO. Obviously just plan in extra stops along the way on the journey too.

Be optimistic and plan for it. Make sure it can be canceled if all is not doing well.

I had an emergency C-section and moved house, to another country, (that we had not been able to visit before we moved there and only had temporary accomodation arranged for 3 weeks when we got there), when our daughter was just under 8 weeks, so a 3 hour trip to see family in the same country would have been a doddle! 😂

Perfectly doable. I took mine everywhere from being tiny, they just used to sleep in the car. Much easier than toddlers who in my experience spend all their time wriggling out if their car seats and bashing each other with toys.

I think it depends on the birth and yours and the babies health. I could not have done this but you may be able too !

If you’re planning on breastfeeding, I wouldn’t recommend it.

This. I think the driving would be too much for little one and stopping every 30 minutes may be difficult if there aren’t a services etc.

Whatever not?

I second this

This & maybe buy a car seat to be delivered to family - you may need one to travel around whilst you're there?

Depends on your delivery and depends on your baby.

I had an emergency c section with number 1 and bounced back pretty quickly. Baby was pretty portable would have been doable.

I had a traumatic vaginal delivery with number 2 and could barely walk still at 5 weeks post partum. It would have been genuinely my idea of hell.

Get a lie flat car seat so long drives are less of an issue. Drove 9hrs for a wedding at 10 weeks (obviously breaking up the drive with multiple stops over a day or two) and had a good time so definitely possible if all goes well and you feel up to it. Agree with the free cancellation so that it is easy to cancel if you need to

I did similar several times, and would do it again. I definitely found that the easiest stage to travel with for a little while (by car or train at least, plane travel with an infant is different), and honestly it was more relaxing for me to go to family than to host them. I would definitely keep as much flexibility in your plans as possible and manage expectations. Avoid committing to specific activities and be prepared to head home early if you're struggling, or even to cancel entirely.

I also would wholeheartedly support any new mum who chose to just plan a quiet holiday at home, so please don't feel pressured either way. Neither choice is more admirable than the other.

I live in Scotland and visited family with a 5 week old around 3 hours away. I didn't have my husband with me and it turned out my parents wouldn't support me but I still managed. We went to Northern Ireland at 7 weeks old for both kids. That's 3.5 hrs in car, 2.5 on a boat and then another hour in car after that. The car was packed to the brim but it was all fine.

Tbh it's easier that age than with a toddler. It really depends how the birth goes and what sort of baby you get. My dd yes vvvvv easy (was hell aged 3-4 to make up for it) although you have to be careful re how long baby is laying down but baby not a total newborn at 5-8 weeks. My dsis dd no way could you have done it...my dn needed to held all the time. Each baby is different. Very difficult to east.

I assume you mean “why ever not”

Because establishing feeding can be very challenging, especially for the first time. Because you shouldn’t add on more unneeded stress. Because, with all three of mine, the first two to three months of breastfeeding have been feeding every two hours and I was exhausted and barely able to get away from the sofa.