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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I mad to consider this with a newborn?

369 replies

Planningatrip · 06/08/2024 20:09

We’re wondering if it’s going to be feasible to go up to Scotland to see family this Christmas, and make a little weekend out of it perhaps and potter round the Christmas markets. If we did this we would be staying in a hotel/AirBnb for 2 or 3 nights and so would need to drive up in order to fit our pram and travel cot in. It’s a 3 hour drive, so we’d obviously have to stop several times.

Our baby could be anywhere between 5 and 8 weeks old, depending on when she’s born.

Naively I’m thinking this could actually be the easiest age. Yes we’ll be tired, but we’ll be tired wherever we are. Planning on breastfeeding so hopefully shouldn’t have to worry about bottles and the likes.

AIBU to think about it? Do I need a reality check?

OP posts:
RedPoster · 06/08/2024 20:39

At this age, it’s easier to get out and about with them, decent carrier, milk however they’re having it and changes of nappies/clothes and you’re away. It’s when they get bigger and start complaining all the time that it’s a pain in the arse 😂

If it’s something you want to do then go for it. You will make it work.

Anni23 · 06/08/2024 20:40

I’ll also add I prefer to drive and stop as many times as needed over a train. The one time I took the train with a baby was awful and I’m not sure train services have improved since then… We ended up sat on the floor by the door with no room despite having booked seats for 2 hours. I take the train by myself still but I’ve not recovered enough to attempt taking my child on it…

With the car you can throw everything in and stop when you need to!

OhMehGoddess · 06/08/2024 20:40

We flew to America with a 6 week old, so for me a short journey sounds fine. We just took a sling. Breastfed so only needed nappies and clothes changes.

But no c-section, this will make a big difference at 5 weeks old.

Superworm24 · 06/08/2024 20:40

Our baby is 5 months old and there's no chance we could have made that work. We couldn't get him to sleep in a cot until he was 6 weeks old. And unlike in the films he would scream everything we put him in the car seat, then he'd only sleep whilst we were moving. So being stuck in traffic was hell. Then add in the cluster feeding. Honestly I didn't want to go anywhere for the first 3 months. But then there's people on my due date group who have had a far easier ride.

mindutopia · 06/08/2024 20:40

Completely fine. I was traveling and staying over with dh’s family from 5 weeks. Would have been much more enjoyable to be on an actual holiday and staying separately.

letsjustdothis · 06/08/2024 20:41

Wouldn't go even without a baby, it will be freezing and miserable. Hotel room will be very crammed, Airbnb will be deathly cold.

Snowless · 06/08/2024 20:42

Mine are late twenties now, but didn’t you use to be able to attach a carry cot top on back seats?
Are they not legal anymore?

MaryMary6589 · 06/08/2024 20:43

Depends on how your birth goes and therefore how long it takes you to recover and also on the temperament of your child.

My first son screamed at me for 10 hours a day for the first 7 months of his life. I had to hold him upright to sleep for all this time. He screamed every time he was in the Car seat until he was a year old.

My second son barely cries and just sleeps in the car seat. They're chalk and cheese.

I couldn't have done your trip with my first. It took me 6 weeks to get to grips with breastfeeding. I could easily have done it with my second.

The problem is, you don't know how your birth will go or what your baby's temperament will be until they're born.

If you can afford to lose the money, I'd book the trip, expect to not be able to go or want to go but then if you have an easy birth and an easy baby and want to go then you can.

Don't fall into the trap of letting anyone pressure you into going though just because they reckon they would have been able to do it. You should only go if you genuinely feel up for it and want to go. Otherwise you'll resent it forever.

MouseofCommons · 06/08/2024 20:44

I would not have coped with this. I was in too much pain post birth and needed to establish bf. I felt quite tough coping with the supermarket at 4 weeks and I cried when I couldn't figure out the rain cover.

falrieni · 06/08/2024 20:45

We did an air bnb break with dc1 when she was 6 weeks and it was fine.But we travelled by train, which was far easier as I could breastfeed whenever she wanted, change nappy immediately, me or DH could put her in a sling to nap and she had lots of eye contact and interaction so it was a nicer experience for her than being strapped in a car seat. She slept or fed most of the journey, and it was quicker than driving. We had a lie flat buggy suitable from birth so it was easy to bring on the train, and the air bnb had a cot, baby bath etc.

OlympicsFanGirl · 06/08/2024 20:45

Book refundable.

You could be feeling great or awful. You won't know until you see how the birth goes and what your baby is like.

Don't take a car to Edinburgh. It's a nightmare to drive in and parking is awful and extortionate.

Get the train and be prepared to take buses, taxis or walk.

The Christmas markets are completely rammed so use a baby carrier

mothsandgoths · 06/08/2024 20:45

Honestly depends on your baby. You can only make this call once they are here. They might be a dream easy baby or screaming with colic. Don't book Anything you can't get a refund on

Nosleepforthismum · 06/08/2024 20:46

Yeah do it, it’ll be most likely fine and a baby outside wrapped up in the pram will probably mostly be sleeping! Christmas markets sound ideal (and I’m a little jealous). Take the car and one of you sit in the back to keep an eye on the baby. You can stop every 30 minutes if you are worried but really at 6-8 weeks old I’d probably only stop once on a 3 hour journey. Even if you have a c-section, from experience, the best thing to do is to get moving.

Enjoy it because once they get a bit older and have siblings it gets a lot trickier. This is the best age for still being able to have fun as a couple so don’t waste it!

Houseshmouse · 06/08/2024 20:46

That'll be fine, you might be a bit sleep deprived but you can make up for that by stuffing your face full of yummy food.
I've breastfed and co slept with all my kids, it makes travel a lot lighter!

DeclutteringNewbie · 06/08/2024 20:46

Planningatrip · 06/08/2024 20:09

We’re wondering if it’s going to be feasible to go up to Scotland to see family this Christmas, and make a little weekend out of it perhaps and potter round the Christmas markets. If we did this we would be staying in a hotel/AirBnb for 2 or 3 nights and so would need to drive up in order to fit our pram and travel cot in. It’s a 3 hour drive, so we’d obviously have to stop several times.

Our baby could be anywhere between 5 and 8 weeks old, depending on when she’s born.

Naively I’m thinking this could actually be the easiest age. Yes we’ll be tired, but we’ll be tired wherever we are. Planning on breastfeeding so hopefully shouldn’t have to worry about bottles and the likes.

AIBU to think about it? Do I need a reality check?

DD was 8 weeks old her first Xmas and we drove 5 hours to PILs then another 4 to friends in Scotland. It was lovely!

Fupoffyagrasshole · 06/08/2024 20:46

I’ve just done it with a 7 week old and a 3 year old alone from London to Dublin on a train and ferry (8 hour trip) it was totally fine have to say - the baby was easy - toddler tested my patience and we had a few arguments 🤣

but the baby was easy!!

I guess the difference with you driving is you’ll need to stop to feed the baby and that might be super regular at that age

me being on a train and boat I coul just basically leave the baby on my boobs the whole time without it disrupting/slowing down my travels

AegonT · 06/08/2024 20:47

I think the drive will be fine with a couple of stops.

I would get an Air BnB over a hotel as then you don't need to worry about crying keeping other guests up. DD1 had colic and a hotel would have been awful for all. It wouldn't have been an issue for DD2 who didn't cry much but you don't know what you'll be dealing with!

A small baby is far easier to take round Christmas markets and other grown-up activities than an older baby or toddler.

tealandteal · 06/08/2024 20:47

With my first this would have been impossible, PPH, no sleep baby, PPA. With my second it would have been fine and lovely. Don’t make any plans you can’t cancel.

Perhaps you could get the train with baby and DH could drive up with the stuff, or some hotels/guest houses have a crib that they can put up for you. This would save on the amount of stuff. Baby can go in a sling.

MsCactus · 06/08/2024 20:48

I think this would have been fine for my DD. I, however, went to visit family at 8 weeks and sitting for that long led to me having three rounds of infections in my stitches, and post birth complications.

For my second I'm planning to be in or around my bed for the first three months, haha

If I'd had a birth without stitches it might have been fine for both of us. I think there's no real way to know - make it cancellable

Businessflake · 06/08/2024 20:48

Get a pram that is certified safe for overnight sleeping. Perfect for travelling at that age as you don’t need to take a separate cot.

I would have been fine with this with both of mine, and that’s following one emergency and one planned c section.

Just plan on it. The worst that happens is you cancel. And if you need to cancel that means something is not going well in which case you’ll have other things to worry about.

mauvish · 06/08/2024 20:49

When my DD was 6 weeks old we went to France for 2 weeks -- camping, in a mini. It was a spur of the moment decision; as you say, OP, you're tired whereever you are so what the hell!

We borrowed a heavy old tent, strapped an old travelling trunk onto the top of the mini and took off.

And it worked absolutely fine. My DD was totally BF so that was easy; she was a terrible sleeper at home but slept really well whilst we were away, so I slept much better too. It helped that I'd had an easy delivery, and that the French culture was much more tolerant of breast fed babies in pulic spaces than in the UK, but really I found it easier than those first 6 weeks at home had been.

FTMFML · 06/08/2024 20:49

Sounds do able to me!
I would have been happy to do that even post c section but I know not everyone would be in the same boat.
It sounds lovely!
And you little one should nap in the car mostly!

liberonnew · 06/08/2024 20:49

I found the easiest ages to be 6 months - 14 months or so. Before 6 months everything felt more fragile and the breastfeeding knocked me out. Travelling is touch for wee ones too, can't spend too long in car seats etc (no idea if this is relevant). Also wanted to spend time with wee one at home or local.

Before I gave birth I had some weirdly crazy ideas though - wondered if it would be a good time to travel across the atlantic ocean at one point...

bumbledeedum · 06/08/2024 20:50

Impossible to call at this stage. My first I could have taken pretty much anywhere to do anything, my second would scream relentlessly if you put him in the car (this went on for MONTHS and nothing helped). Never would have expected it but we couldn't go anywhere that wasn't by train or bus for ages as the screaming was awful. Hard to know what baby will be like and how you'll feel beforehand. Roughly plan it but have a plan B & free cancellation.

Yellow2024 · 06/08/2024 20:51

I would have done this and had a really lovely time. However BF didn't work out for me so didn't have to juggle that along side finding my feet. I would still go for it.

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