Summer holiday moan

[Scandalousmum]

On week 6 of summer holidays here in Scotland and am I unreasonable to think this is just too long?
kids are climbing the walls. My budget on holidays, clubs, snacks spent. Patience spent. I work too and am at the end of my tether. Husband works full time but deals with no laundry, cooking, shopping etc. my house is literally falling apart and needing work and can’t get a thing done trying to entertain two kids. plus the weather has been shit.
how are others coping? Is it all arts and crafts or are others at breaking point and about to open the gin.

Two months here which seems about right. We're lucky in that my work is quieter over the summer though and we have plenty of decent clubs.

Agree that it shouldn't all be falling to you just because you're PT. Your husband should be pulling his weight around the house.

Your DH needs to pull his weight.

The long summer holidays are one of the great joys of holidays. They don’t have to cost anything and it is okay to let the kids entertain themselves at home, in fact it’s good for them.
It’s also very important for them to have a really good rest, by the end of the year they are simply exhausted.

If the holidays were shorter the competition for annual leave in the summer would be much higher.

Your issue here is a DH that leaves parenting and household duties to you.

This is going to sound critical, and I genuinely don't mean it that way, but I sometimes wonder if parents (mums!) these days feel so much pressure to make holidays magical that it just makes them really stressful. When I was a kid a lot of the time we didn't have an "away" holiday during the summer as dad was working. We might have had one or two special trips (usually a water park or a theme park, one year we went to Alton Towers which was very exciting!!). But the majority of the time we were just doing normal stuff - reading, crafts, messing around in the garden with mates or whatever. Most days mum would have been working a bit at home/doing chores at the same time and we just really occupied ourselves. I just wonder if the pressure to "do things" means that the normal things feel boring in comparison (to the kids I mean)? Not sure I'm articulating it very well, hopefully you know what I mean! And appreciate it's not a solution!!

I find the summer always goes quite quickly actually. We only have one DS8, who is a very easygoing child, so that helps. Week 1, he’s pooped from the long school year and he basically played computer games in his pants for a week. Week 2, sports camp. Weeks 3&4, I’m off and we have had a nice week together at home and next week we’re abroad. When we get back there’s only 2 weeks left! He’s got a few days with grandparents and the rest we’ll sort out some play dates with school friends and have some chilled days. We’ve got a long weekend away just before he goes back to school. I find it helps to take my annual leave in the middle to break it up.

Where "naturally" means "he thinks it's women's work and I let him get away with it".

I think @EnterFunnyNameHere is right, there is also this pressure, from wherever you get your pressure from (internally, social media, friends, family), to make it wonderful. I co parent, so my pressure comes from having them fhalf of the time and feeling like I've got to make it all so amazing and I've got to love every single minute of it because I don't get to see them all of the time.

But it's hard, it's financially difficult, I'm also very very tired from working and the school routines etc. They'll go to their dad and I'll be back at work so I'm on a bit of a rollercoaster.

Exactly this. I feel 3/4 weeks would be enough.

You do need to think about division of labour. Just because you're PT in your paid job, doesn't mean you're not working as hard as him. It took my divorce and looking at the financial and pension settlement to realise the amount of unpaid labour I put into the family while he continued to be paid and promoted.

6 weeks is short.compared to most other countries. I think a lot of them offer subsidised activities in the holidays.

Nope. Inset days are taken out of what was once school hols, years ago. Kids are in school for 195 days a year (England anyway). That can be distributed however the school chooses obvs. We have a two week break in October and it's great, lots of Halloween stuff to do, cosy film days / nights. It's a really long term so the two week break is much needed.

I also find it hard to get them back into the routine of school. Mine are teens now and mostly just loaf about having pj days unless I organise something, to which there is a limit. To go from that to 6.30 starts, uniform, kit, homework etc in a jump is hard. I do tighten up on bedtimes in the last week and wake them up by 8 but it is hard.

Does your DH not take any of his annual leave to look after them too so it's not all on you?

On week three here and away but when come back have three weeks of nothing planned for kids as DH and I work. The guilt is huge. They will be bored and stuck on screens.

I was talking to my parents about this and they laughed and pointed out when I was young my dad worked, mum was at home but from about the age of 4 I just played out all day. I'd get up watch a bit of tv. Go out on the street get a sandwich at lunch at home or friends house then I'd be shouted in at 5 for tea. If mum needed to go out she would let another mum know and tell me to go there if needed.
Mum spent her day doing housework as she would when I was at school.

My reality is totally different

I'm with you op....I found summer holidays really tough... especially if we didn't go away on holiday. It's a long amount of time to fill and extremely expensive even doing low key stuff. I never had any help in the holidays either, no grandparents to send them to so it was all on me, all day, every day. I never had a minutes spare time to sort out anything in the house or run errands without the kids. By about week five, kids would start to get very bored and just want to go back. Nothing more soul destroying than hearing "mum, what are we going to do today" and not having a clue 😂

It's harder for parents now... decades ago in the school holidays, kids would just hang out with their mates and play outside independently...whilst mums got on with housework or whatever. Now we are expected to be full time kids entertainers

@Elendel why do you ignore your children when you’re working?

I’m not sure I understand this question as the answer seems so obvious!

@LittleBearPad how so? Most mums work and manage not to

She's a teacher. Term time is hard. Many get home, do tea, activities, bath, supervise homework, etc then have to do their own marking / planning etc. When kids are v little and in bed by 7 it's easy but when they're older and up til 9 or ten, unless you want to be working til midnight,you have to work when they're up. You have to say no to a board game or watching something together.

It is a long time to look after your own children, but they’re not young for long. Try to embrace the chaos of an untidy house for now. I say this as a full time teacher and mum to 3-with a messy home!

I live it. Wish it was longer. Kids will be gutted to go back as well.

I see the poster is a teacher. In which case the answer is also obvious.

WFH parents aren't working very hard if they don't basically ignore their children through the day except at lunchtime. You can’t do both.

Teachers have vert full on weeks of work, including working into the night. You can’t focus on marking, planning etc and play with your kids.

It is a long time, but nowhere near as long as some European summer holidays. I agree it gets expensive- especially if the weather is crap. Days out as a family are expensive and unless you are taking pack ups eating out is expensive. Juggling working and kids with available childcare is hard. Round us all the holiday clubs are 9.30 or 10 -2.30 or 3 and only 3 days a week.

Nowadays parents are expected to be full time entertainers as well as working and keeping the house. PP are right that decades ago, the kids got up, got dressed, ate breakfast and then went out to play (on the street, in gardens, to local park) and we're out to play all day only popping home or even to someone elses house to be fed and watered. Most mums were off and everyone kept and eye or ear out for the kids. Nowadays you only have to look at posts on MN about neighbors kids playing in the garden all day and "AIBU in asking that the neighbours kids are limited to 2 hours in the garden all day as I need to WFH?" And "AIBU in asking neighbour with children to keep their DC inside whilst 10am every morning?" "AIBU to suggest that neighbours kids only use the garden 3 days a week?". Constant complaints about trampolines.