She turned her nose up at my joint camping meal, then added her own stuff!

[MerchantGourmetLover]

On our camping trip with friends we decided that each night one family cooks a meal to feed everyone. I got allocated the final night, so a bit more difficult in terms of bringing fresh stuff from home as it won't last.

My friend got allocated the first night and presented a home cooked chilli using all these organic ingredients picked from a local allotment. She also made some pointed comments about how she is trying to reduce her consumption of ultra processed foods.

To make life easier, for my meal (which to be fair was similar to hers) I used some packets of Merchant Gourmet cajun beans and Mexican grains - which I happen to think are really nice. As soon as I mentioned this she started quietly grumbling about UPFs and I overheard her describe it to someone else as "slop from packets". I tried to ignore and rise above it, but at the moment I served up my meal to everyone, she popped up with a load of extra stuff (of course from the organic allotment) which she claimed was "just some sides to add to your meal", but she then proceeded to only eat her stuff and ignored everything I had cooked.

She has form for this as something similar happened last year! Should I have tried harder with my offering or AIBU to be upset that she was rude about my meal in front of everyone else?

That's absolutely fine if you are only feeding yourselves, but when the arrangement is that you take turns to provide a decent meal so no-one has to cook every day, the assumption is that you would make some sort of effort, even when camping. microwaveable pouches of stuff are on a level with your 'fuck it' instant noodles.

In my experience, people who are opposed to ‘UPFs’ and believe in ‘clean eating’ speak of pretty much nothing else.

In any case, the OP’s friend wasn’t embarrassed because she was happy to describe some cooked grains (which aren’t ultra processed anyway) as ‘slop from packets’ to others and has also been vocal about avoiding UPFs.

If she has a food intolerance and becomes ill from eating any conceivable processed food, I strongly doubt she’d have agreed to let others cook for her in the first place! I have friends with coeliac disease, and of course they wouldn’t want to risk stomach cramps or diarrhoea around others, so if there’s any shared cooking being done they opt out, rather than letting people cook for them without telling them about their gluten allergy, and then calling the food ‘slop’ because it doesn’t meet a dietary requirement they had for some reason decided to keep secret from the cook.

Cooking on holiday doesn't sound like much of a holiday.

Yes, it's the new Veganism isn't it? All encompassing obsessiveness, boring everyone else rigid with their evangelical zeal.

I imagine, much like Veganism, it will settle down dive off a cliff as everyone gets bored and gives up in another year or two. I am all for home cooking from scratch as often as possible, but UPFs have their place in moderation.

She should come camping with me, I look forward to my one Pot Noodle (chicken and mushroom, obvs. I’m not an animal!) of the year. It’s my “special dinner” and I love it 😁

Rude, bullying bitch. Ignore her or ask her if she has a problem with you or just being a bitchy cunt in general?
It's time decent women called out these bitches ❤️

She was very rude however I would be disappointed too with your meal. Was it just the packets of Merchant Gourmet or did you make anything else? You say yourself that you went with that option “to make life easier”, however if everyone is cooking only one night each presumably it is so that people could make a bit of effort and prepare a meal that’s not solely based on convenience.

I’m intrigued as to what this Merchant Gourmet thing is… I just googled it, is it sort of like packet rice? What I saw looks yummy, but maybe as a side to something else, not a whole meal?
Id probably be a bit disappointed by this, but I wouldn’t DREAM of making such a rude comment, your friend sounds awful! What kind of meals did everyone else make on their night? If they were in line with yours, quick, easy breezy things (pot noodles, hot dogs, tinned meat etc) then I think what you’ve done is so okay!

Does everyone try to shine when it's their turn to do the group meal? If so, maybe you fell short? You said similar happened last year. Did you do same type of effort? Maybe you have vastly different ideas than the group? If so, you really should follow the cues.
Having said that... it's bloody rude, beyond, actually, for friend to essentially try to show you up and humiliate you. Total bitch she is.... I'd find friends that appreciated me for who I am.

It’s nothing like veganism. It’s another fad “diet”. Veganism is an ethical stance not a health kick.
But I agree the UPF obsession is tedious, often uninformed and evangelical - it is just Orthorexia repackaged..

Merchant Gormet packets are delicious and perfect for travelling. Your friend is a stuck up arsehole.

Your husband "would be appalled"

Well that puts the tin lid on it, doesn't it. God forbid your poor DH be appalled. Are you actually taking the piss? It's hard to tell.

We camp a lot and it's upf all the way usually

Sometimes a homemade chilli might then in there

Just sit back and have fun

Call her bluff, say yeah, it was SO delicious, can you do dinner every night next time???

steak au poivre and some nice accoutrements,

^

Crikey. Must be good. It's written in French

Bravo

I agree that veganism is not a fad.

Neither is the belief that UPF is harmful to the gut microbiome. There is science behind it. Inconclusive, I grant you, but enough to merit further research and make me avoid.

That's before you get to the fact that UPF is designed to make people crave more of the stuff, through sophisticated balancing of sugar, trans fats, salt, emulsifiers, 'natural' flavourings, etc. Big industrial conglomerates are making tons of money on the back of feeding people sub-quality food which contains very few real nutrients.

Since I've pretty much cut UPF and sugar from my diet, I feel so much better, have more energy, and I have lost those stubborn pounds that I had struggled to shift.

Having said all that, I think some UPF is a perfectly adequate option during a camping trip!

I’m always grateful to have a plate of food put in front of me. The “slop from packets” comment was out of order.

'Slop' comment is extremely rude.

The last time I did a multi family camping trip, we did it like this:

Family A turned up with four rotisserie chickens in a cool box then made loads of veg sides & salads (allotment produce may well have featured).
Family B turned up with huge quantities of frozen daal, sabzi, aloo gobhi (defrosted by day two) & cooked rice & rotis from scratch over the fire
Family C booked the camp site bbq & drove to town to do a shop because why would you lug cool boxes of burgers & salad when Big Tesco is 3 miles down the road
Family D organised & paid for fish & chips all round.

Obviously family B 'won' - it was bloody awesome - but every night there was a ton of delicious food.

If you're going to be precious about it, just opt out of the cook-in & DIY.

Potato starch. The horror. Do you cook from scratch with potato starch? OMG, it's what Pringles are made of. Therefore the whole meal is probably carcinogenic or something. UPF-ness is contagious.🙄

Surely half the fun of camping is eating UPF slop from packets (your MG packet slop is way posher than mine though, sounds delicious).

Your "friend" is no friend.

I am always amazed at these utterly mannerless, classless people.
I was brought up (and brought my children up) to say thank you very much to anyone serving you a meal they have made, and to say how much you enjoyed it afterwards. I am genuinly gratefull when some one makes the effort to cook for me - it is a treat as I personally have little interest in cooking and consider it a chore.
I'm proud of the fact that as children and adults my children have alway been polite and enthuiastic about anything they are served, even if it is something quite ordinary (ie the sort of thing I generally make!) if my DS comes over for dinner he always says 'thanks Mum, that was lovely ' when I make him a meal.

I cannot imagine being as rude as this woman was.

As an aside, I am a vegetarian and I often use the Merchant Gourmet packets of pulses and grains, I think they make a very nice meal, and OP, I'm sure your supper was appreciated by everyone other than rude woman.

You should have talked about your food expectations. Specially if you already have similar experience.
She obviously didnt need to speak to you in such way.

Oh totally and I agree with well-informed, considered attitudes to UPF, like yours.
I do object to people throwing the phrase around willy nilly and making dubious claims and demonising perfectly good food as the OP’s friend did. Also it is worryingly adjacent to orthorexia in that people can misuse/misunderstand the facts and it can trigger disordered eating disguised as “health” but then veganism can be misused in this way too in the wrong hands.

You 100% did excuse her rudeness. By using the word "however" (no different to an " I am sorry you feel that way, BUT..." ) and then going on about whether or not she could digest UPFs.

Who cares? No-one, because a person who calls another person's food "slop" is not saying it because they cant digest the food, they are saying it to make themselves look superior in their food choices.

This. I hope it’s a piss take, but this is MN so possibly not.