She turned her nose up at my joint camping meal, then added her own stuff!

[MerchantGourmetLover]

On our camping trip with friends we decided that each night one family cooks a meal to feed everyone. I got allocated the final night, so a bit more difficult in terms of bringing fresh stuff from home as it won't last.

My friend got allocated the first night and presented a home cooked chilli using all these organic ingredients picked from a local allotment. She also made some pointed comments about how she is trying to reduce her consumption of ultra processed foods.

To make life easier, for my meal (which to be fair was similar to hers) I used some packets of Merchant Gourmet cajun beans and Mexican grains - which I happen to think are really nice. As soon as I mentioned this she started quietly grumbling about UPFs and I overheard her describe it to someone else as "slop from packets". I tried to ignore and rise above it, but at the moment I served up my meal to everyone, she popped up with a load of extra stuff (of course from the organic allotment) which she claimed was "just some sides to add to your meal", but she then proceeded to only eat her stuff and ignored everything I had cooked.

She has form for this as something similar happened last year! Should I have tried harder with my offering or AIBU to be upset that she was rude about my meal in front of everyone else?

I personally think this is more about holidaying with ‘friends’, we did last year but in a Mediterranean country and this was certainly issues around food. My kids are teenagers one in his late teens and I don’t monitor their snacking, they are both really thin so no issues there but on family we were with wanted all the snacks hidden away, their kids to ask first. They equally, have so much food at breakfast and lunch so as to avoid paying for food and for me I wanted to get out and about. Equally, with the snacking rules we spent quite a bit on our kids snacks and they didn’t as don’t believe in them but their kids took all ours.

She sounds like my mother.

Last holiday together I suggest.

If you go again, let her cook the last night.

I think she was very rude. She must have realised it would hurt your feelings. I'd not be agreeing to holiday with her again. Find some nicer friends to holiday with.

She sounds absolutely dreadful OP. The lass has no class. Don't bother holidaying with her again, she isn't your friend.

She's also completely ignorant about what you were cooking and has made an absolute tool of herself.

What did the other friends say? If I'd have heard her say that, I'd have spent all evening loudly raving about your delicious dinner..

She has form for this as something similar happened last year!

Genuine question - did you expect her to behave differently this time, and if so, why?

Holidays with multiple family members/ friends in tents or a house. Nope. Always bedroom allocation aggro,food aggro, bedtimes/ getting up/ babysitting aggro.
Holidays with friends ( particularly friends who add other friends that are theirs and no knew else knows them). Nope. They are 100% guaranteed to be arseholes.100%
Holidays where there is cooking for a large group. Nope. Always means the 'oh I always cook from scratch using home grown ingredients ' competitive cunts pop up. Oh Emily and Giles have never eaten from a packet. Oh fuck off .
Holidays where everyone is supposed to contribute to the food budget/ bring items with them to share. There's always someone who brings nothing and eats everything.
Just go with your spouse and children ( and ,if you have to go with other people get separate cottages and have breakfast and evenings to yourself. )
It's just not worth the hassle

That's the problem with UPFs (Ultra Picky Friends) - they take great pains and give them to other people.

She sounds rude, but equally you could get fresher stuff if you wanted, assuming there's a shop nearby

This

The only thing in the ingredients that would be UPFs is the xanthan gum. One ingredient right at the bottom of the list is fine.

One of the problems with this term is people thing any confidence food is ultra processed, when tinning/ freeezing / sealing in a package does not automatically mean it is UPF.

Fair enough she only wants to eat her own food if she's picky but why does she agree to group meals? Tell her next time just to cook for herself.

Equally, with the snacking rules we spent quite a bit on our kids snacks and they didn’t as don’t believe in them but their kids took all ours.

How did their kids take your snacks?

Like anything, people become obsessed and cult like when it comes to a “belief”. Avoiding UPFs is one such thing.

Snobby cow. She's not a friend

I never cease to be amazed at what / who people consider to be 'friends' here!

You just don't behave like this when you truly like / love / respect someone.

She's a cow. Either don't go with her again or announce you haven't cooked any for her next time as you know she doesn't eat your UP Foods.

Ha - I love Ultra Picky Friends!

They are UPFs I's be avoiding from now on OP

She’s an idiot. Cooked foods are PROCESSED not ultra processed unless there was a shedload of preservatives or something added to them?

I would just be thankful to have a night off from cooking. It could have been tinned stew and tinned veg for all I would care. Even if she was being ultra careful about UPFs one night won't hurt her. Just ungrateful . If you ever do it again just put her in charge of food for the whole holiday.

I'd just ignore.

I once went on a week's holiday with family like this, where my SILs got into 'competitive cleaning' and vied as to who could fuck about with the most complicated meal, use the most pots, and spend the most hours ensuring that everything was absolutely spotless and gleaming after the meal was over.

I left them to it. I've no intention of spending hours cleaning a kitchen on holiday.

She sounds horrendous

By opening kitchen cupboard doors and the the fridge and taking them.

Is she always a bitch or is this new?

I'd have made jokes about her needing to be the camp director, that always gets under these types skin. Then you just say oh can't take a joke huh?

I hate passive aggressive shit but she started it w/her unwanted addition and snide comments. If one is following a strict dietary plan thats fine but that person needs to either make ALL their own meals or shut up. She was being sanctimonious so feel free to reflect that attitude.