Do lots of people have these sorts of savings? Or am I bloody right?!

[moneuapme]

I feel like utter shit after a meal with friends at the weekend. We all have decent jobs but I am still a long way down the ladder after re training. We don’t usually talk about money but will go to nice places for a dinner etc which I can afford easily too. But it turns out that 4 out of the other five of them are saving between 1k to 1,500 a month and already have over 50k savings?! The other woman there said she has no savings and I just said I had some but not that much. The truth is I have 2k to my name and save around 150 a month usually. I earn 53k. I feel really stressed and worried about the future now as I have nowhere near the security they are talking about. I have tried to keep telling myself this week that that’s surely unusual but is it? Have I just massively fucked up somewhere? Last week I felt really content and lucky and now I just feel like a failure.

What a piss-boring thing to talk about at dinner! I know my friends are all loaded, whereas DP and I are poor public servants, and our incomes are wildly disparate, but we never discuss who's got the most money. Mind you, we argue about religion and politics, which I suppose lots of people think is just as bad....

Deffo

Mid 30s here. I'm off on SMP (£750 ish a month), DH earns £2.5K a month. Mortgage is over £1000 add bills etc. We certainly aren't saving a lot right now. I'm going back at 39 weeks as we can't do unpaid maternity leave. I'll earn about same as him when I go back, but we'll have £1.5K a month childcare bill. Before baby was born we would have been saving that £1.5K and were on a much lower mortgage as lower rate.

Non monthly bills ie car tax…. Also both car insurances, house insurance, travel insurance, car/house repair bills, vet bills.

If it helps I have no savings. Household income is 70K before tax. 2 adults and 2 kids. Childcare costs pretty much screw us over but also I’m crap at budgeting!

My car is 17. I have no finance on it, bought it outright a few years ago. It's quite economical, cheap to insure etc. but the tax is obviously higher than a newer car.

All in all it still works out cheaper than financing or leasing a newer car.

Non monthly bills would also be insurances, and vet visits for the dog etc.

You: "I claim no say over anybody..."

Also you: "You cannot afford nice meals out."

I have an opinion that's not the same , the OP can ignore me.

Going back to the OPs point, she shouldn't compare herself to people who may have very different incomings and outgoings. We can all only work within our own circumstances. If like you, she really doesn't care about financial security then fine. If however she wants to take a look at her finances and try to save more (which seems to be the case) then she might choose to make some different choices. There are lots of ways to get joy from life that don't involve expensive meals out.

I am gobsmacked by the vitriol on this thread from people who think saving is some kind of evil thing that means you have to live a small, mean life.

Do you have a sufficient pension? Do you own/ mortgage your own home? Are you otherwise debt free?
if the answer is yes to each of these, I wouldn’t worry about it. If not, then yes you probably should be working towards putting more money aside each month. Additionally I would also be working towards a higher emergency fund 3/6 months of expenditure.

I’ll recommend bank accounts like monzo or starling that allow you to put aside money in pots. For example, we have a bills pot (which direct debits come straight out of), a holiday pot, a Xmas pot, a general savings pot and a family fun pot.
im not tight with money, but this stops me ‘spending accidentally’. I want the money I spend (and save) to be purposeful.

This is different though. You have an actual reason! At least you know why and where the money is going.

The alternative is people who think eating out with your friends is an evil thing that you should not do if you don't have six months' salary in the bank.

This

There are too many factors to compare like for like, but on that salary in London a few years ago (before children) I was saving 500-700 a month. I think rent has increased since though, in addition to the rest, so it would 400-500 today I guess.

When I was able to save 1k a month, I was earning much more (75+) and sharing rent with my then partner.

No one has said that not saving is evil. But the OP is worried about her lack of savings so people have been giving advice on that.

Having three to six months of expenses (not salary) saved up gives you a lot of freedom. Any of life's disasters can strike (the boiler breaks, a partner dies, you lose your job, you need to help out a family member) and money isn't the first worry.

Many people on this thread agree that cutting down on meals out (or expensive clothes or unnecessary internet subscriptions or shopping at Waitrose or whatever) is worth gaining that peace of mind.

You disagree, which is fine, but I honestly don't know why you seem so upset about other people having savings in the bank.

I have no mortgage, OK pension for my age and save £150 a month if that makes you feel better 😅

This!

Have you worked out what you are spending on?

I had no savings till my 40s. Then a combination of a promotion, moving in with someone (2 is cheaper than 1) and some outgoings stopping meant I really started to look at what I was spending and priorising savings. I stopped lots of subscriptions, frivolous spending (so coffee with friends or lunch rather than boozy nights out or dinners) and started saving.

I still did go out to dinner with friends but was a bit more selective.

That is a good thing to do, but if your expenses eat into your 10% then what can you do? You can't just not pay the bills!

No, jointly.

I earn just over what they are putting away each month so there is no way I can save anything close. Or anything at on months where there are birthdays, holidays or Xmas.

This! If one child in full time nursery is upwards of £1,500/month these days, then in theory anyone paying that now will have previously had that cash as disposable in their child-feee days and could have saved it! It’s quite a high sum to consistently save monthly but I don’t understand people who simply don’t understand that it’s possible, just because they don’t earn enough to save that.

But people may have had help towards paying the childcare bill. Many do

@moneuapme you still haven't told us how come you can only save £150pm on a massive wages of £53k. Huge outgoings? Debts? Crap at budgeting?

We save £200 a month towards Christmas/holidays but that’s it. We can’t afford any more. We are average earners but made some financial mistakes in our earlier years with the added complication of redundancy and DH being self employed for many years which almost broke us financially. We ended up in a lot of debt. We consider ourselves fortunate that we’ve now repaid the debt (only have mortgage) but with still a few years left to pay on our mortgage we don’t have much spare money left over each month

i dont know many people personally that are in a position to save over £1k per month

everyone has a different situation