To wonder why our value is defined by money?

[Abigail47]

I was just wondering why everyone's value is defined by how money they have.

When I went to school, all of the most popular girls were from rich families. If your dad was wealthy , you were popular. The rich girls would only hang around with the othe rich girls.

If you were less rich they wouldn't talk to you. If you were poor or from a single parent family, they definitely wouldn't talk to you.

It made me think from an early age: why is my worth/ or anyone's worth defined by how much money I have. It seems so ridiculous.

There are so many other things that add up a person's worth: such as how kind they are, how good they are at different things etc.

Similarly when I went to college, the rich people would only hang around with each other.

I lived in a small town in England growing up, and again, it was always divided by money. The rich people would only really be friends with each other.

I then moved to London, which is a lot more diverse and multicultural, however you still get wealth snobbery in some of the workplaces. And even though in the workplaces, everyone talks to each other.

After work, and in hobbies, I've seen the same thing: that the really rich people in London will only be friends with other really rich people.

I mean is it not all a bit ridiculous. How is our worth tied to money? There are so many othe things that make a human valuable.

Yet alot of people seem to think of money over everything else

London is materialistic.

I think that money and success is fine in itself.

But it shouldn't be looked at as a person's main value.

I know a girl who is, by all standards, very poor. She is the kindest, sweetest soul.

There are so many other things other than money, that add to a persons value.

NRTt

Rich people have lifestyles erroneous wants so are appealing.

However I find anyone that is good at what they do has value in the world at large. People recognise thosewith talent / skills

Not something I have come across tbh

Are we defined by wealth? only if we want to be

I had 4 millionaires at my wedding which we did in our back garden for less then a grand ( clothes included ) Those millionaires came because we are friends, I also had friends there on PIP and GVT pensions And everyone was welcomed and treated the same.

I work in a very posh store, I dont care how much money you have, talk to me like something you stepped in, Ill let you know, straight up to your face

Anyone worry or judging against wealth needs to understand that graves are all the one size

@Abigail47 not my experience at all. The popular girls at school were loud and self confident. It was a long time ago though.

I don't recall such hierarchies at the children's schools which were pretty inclusive despite being expensive.

I'm not sure I believe or think doctors and psychologists are rich.

OP, I think people who find their own value and worth in money value it in others. But that doesn't mean everyone does.

I dated a man a few years ago who completely found his worth and value in money. He earned a 6 figure salary, had a huge house that he lived in alone and a really nice car. He truly believed that this made him 'better' but nobody else cared. He had some very wealthy friends and others who were objectively poor. He didn't regard the wealthy friends as better than the less wealthy but he preferred himself when he was hanging around with them drinking fine champagne and eating caviar. He would do things like go out with his less well earning friends and then make a big show of picking up the bill at the end and then complaining to me that no one seemed grateful for his gesture. He was an arse.

Anyway, I remember the first time he came round to mine for dinner. I actually lived in a much more affluent area than he did but earned 1/3 of what he did. He picked up my cutlery and commented on about how heavy it was, how there was some weight to it and clearly saw that as a sign of 'quality' versus his cheap, lightweight cutlery. The quality of my cutlery was often brought up. I never did tell him that it had cost me £10 from Asda 10 years previously 😅

We argued once because he only measured success in terms of salary, income, money.

He asked how I could consider myself 'successful' when I earned to so little (compared to him). I said that every day, I woke up and looked forward to going to work; I have overcome huge adversity to get when I am; I got a first class degree as a single parent; I have two wonderful children to whom I'm very close; I go to bed every evening happy; my work makes a positive difference in other people's lives every day; I genuinely do find the joy in the little things; I have peace in my heart every day.

And all he had was a big house; an expensive car; flash holidays and a shit tonne of money in the bank. And now he's single again too.

He just didn't get it. He really didn't believe I could be genuinely happy on my (still above average) salary.

He was shallow and insecure. And, tbh, that is how I regard anyone who only values themselves and others through money.

People aspire to he seen as having done well for themselves and, for a lot of people, that means money - look at all the arguments on here about class! Because, for some, it's linked to wealth and everyone tramples over each other to he seen as more middle class - from the aspirational working class who brag about Centre Parcs holidays to those who wouldnt be seen dead at CP because it's 'common'.

It doesn't mean that that is how everyone values others. But, yes, people who value themselves through money will do the same to others.

Edited to say - on reflection, he did think his wealthier friends were better than his poorer ones. He also thought his poorer ones aspired to be like him. They didn't and, as much as they liked him, they didn't like this aspect of his character.

I think that money and success is fine in itself.

I meant to add that, even though you dislike it, you still link money with success.

I genuinely don't.

Ha! Like you've done on the thread about riots? 🤔
Acting like people shouldn't be bothered or scared by them, bloody hypocrite.