To be sick of outdoorsy men on dating apps

[Latoureiffel123]

I'm sure they're just trying to seem more interesting/exciting and I can't criticise them for that, but has anyone noticed that 99% of men allegedly climb a mountain every other weekend and are always camping?

I like going on walks, and I have climbed a couple of mountains. I'm a sporty person I guess but I also like just sitting in and watching Netflix!

I don't like camping at all, give me a hotel any day (not saying I'm made of money, it's usually a Travelodge or similar)

It just puts me off a little. I like a balance, but majority of men on there seem to live for the outdoors, and large swathes of them also claim to have been to 50+ countries with only a backpack and staying in various hostels, again not my idea of fun.

I am cynical about men who claim to love "an active life" on social media. They seem vastly overrepresented on there compared to what i see in real life. I think they are mainly concerned that their matches arent overweight

are you always taking everything so personally?

Don't fall into generalisation trap! There are several types of "outdoorsy" - the escapists (walking away from their life and problems - avoid those), the sportsmen (technical climbing/trail running/deep fishing/whatever at competition level - only engage if you are joining them or genuinely cheerleading), recreationists (just a hobby like any other, let him walk or walk with him). Many intersections and variations inbetween, obviously. Me and DH are both "outdoorsy", moderately recreational - yes we do some challenging technical stuff, but we also stay at a spa hotel afterwards. No bunk beds, no camping.
Side note - people with a structured hobby (climbing or cross stitching or fishing or crafts) likely have traits like commitment, discipline, income, direction in life, which definitely is a positive.

I assume they think those pictures are more attractive than ones showing them slack jawed in front of the match in their pants with a can in one hand and a kebab in the other. Same way women tend to post pictures looking glam on nights out or elegant on city breaks rather than in their threadbare leggings watching strictly with a massive cake.

Many years ago after I split from DH#1, my friend showed me his OLD profile (after matching with him 😱) All his pics were of him doing exciting outdoorsy activities, all of which he'd done - under sufferance - with me! When left to his own devices he spent every weekend in his den with his records/comics. I guess he felt it was a vicious circle - he couldn't meet someone IRL as he never went out, but he thought that to attract a partner he'd have to pretend he did go out doing interesting stuff, even though his perfect partner would be someone who also had solitary indoor hobbies. Not much has changed in OLD world probably 😂

Agree. I like walking and am active but a lot of guys online seem obsessively sporty/gym/fitness. A friend said maybe they feel pressure to highlight those things as women want that. I got a bit weary of photos of thighs in the gym and the road bikes 😁

If that's who they are. Then great that they show it in the profile. However, I was looking at my colleagues profile and he had those mountain and fishing pics. Not once has it come up in conversation that he's into either.

I was so relieved when I met my now-DH on a dating app and we had our first date. Everyone else I’d met wanted to “climb mountains” and “travel the world”. DH said he liked a nice hotel and watching tv - heaven!!!

LOL, I'm sure the female profiles have their own stereotypes, but yeah.

Dogs/cats, picture with a child ('note: not my child'), swimming/hiking, cooking, 'exploring the world.'

You don't mention your age but I'm going to hazard a guess at mid 30s onwards, and I'll tell you for why.

Me and DP now are getting to the age now where a bunch of our friends are splitting up and getting divorced.

In every case, its ended up with the man having to move out into a house share or a little one bedroom flat while the divorce is sorted and the family home sold etc.

While for some, the idea is to go 50-50 on childcare long term, in the short term that won't really work out until they've got somewhere bigger to live.

Suddenly finding themselves with huge amounts of free time, the men are bored, and desperate to get out of their depressing little hovels. Which leads to the hiking, and the bouldering, and the fishing. Hobbies need to be outdoors, and not needed huge amounts of equipment, because they haven't got the space at home.

Funnily enough, they tend to drop the hobbies as fast as they picked them up once they get a new girlfriend.

I met my husband through an introduction agency. On his profile it asked: what's your favourite weekend activity? He said he liked going to Tate Modern (I did an arts degree). We met and actually did go to the Tate at one point and he said it was only the second time he'd been! I asked about his profile and he said 'well putting down watching the cricket or football seemed too boring'!
These blokes may have hiked once in their lives but think it makes them sound interesting and fit.

I think this is a really good point, weight being such an issue sadly.

Ask them for pictures of their hiking/walking boots or kit bag. That should give you a good idea of if they are genuinely outdoorsy or doing it for the gram.

75% of them have dogs...

She got the kids.

I'm sorry @Epicaricacy but someone has to clarify some of your stuff here.

The poster didn't take your opinion "personally". She pointed out that she thinks you are judgy and smug.

At no point did they indicate they were personally offended by what you said. They did however make an observation.

What I find funny about Mumsnet is how many posters start to subtly insinuate a person has emotionally lost control, or is 'upset', the minute when they say something that is disliked.

Eg "You ok hun?" or "You sound invested" etc.

They do it to make the person sound emotional, or unhinged in some ways.

I ironically replied to someone who insulted me. I am not the one who is upset or offended but you seem very involved in all this 😂

Yeah, I truly wish I could meet one of those men! Even when I did pick people who looked outdoorsy on their profile, in person they didn't actually want to walk up a mountain or swim in the sea, or shift their arse too far from the TV in any direction in fact.

Trying to find a truly active bloke over 50 is really difficult.

I’m not on OLD but admit ‘outdoorsy’ would put me right off. Going for nice walks and a pub lunch is one thing but the idea someone might want to camp every weekend, bungee jump, white water raft or whatever, expect me to do it too and never want to slob out in front of Netflix would make me run a mile. It all sounds a bit too adventurous for me lol.

I’m 58 and female. Backpacking is something I do regularly (usually with a tent or bivy bag in it). I do it because I enjoy it, not because I don’t have funds. Staying in a hotel doesn’t appeal to me at all.

I just really enjoy being outdoors; it’s never occurred to me that I might be judged for that.

I think most of these men over exaggerate how often they do these activities. I love a walk but you won't catch me climbing a mountain or camping! I asked DH if any of his (unmarried) friends do these activities, his response was none that he can think of.

Backpacking - don’t be daft - a) there is a cost of living crisis and plenty of people can’t afford the holidays they did, and b) back packing is something some people enjoy even if they can afford more, the same as people like mountaineering holidays / fishing holidays / AL resorts / cruises / mega hotels. There’s nothing intrinsically sad about any of them, it’s just taste.

Why can't they just do a nice smile direct to camera, why do we always see photographs of their backs up a climbing or bouldering wall?

🤣🤣🤣

When I was a kid I wrote a profile for a penpal. I loved reading. I also loved playing outside and watching TV. I got matched with someone who loved reading ... Because they didn't own a TV.

I'm convinced that sometimes these things hyperfocus on one element of you as a person. You can't like curling up with a book or boxset AND going for long walks. You can only be OR.

Some people who have lots of money like camping 🏕
To camp and hike doesn't have to be an economy thing
It's more about being in touch with nature, I find that hiking and long walks energise me and keep me grounded
Something I really enjoy, but the the op I also like to watch films and curl up on sofa.
It's a balance.
I hope you find ur special person, who gets you just as much as u get them x