Going away (almost) every school holiday?

[Reddingmilk]

We went abroad at Easter so we aren’t going away this month. Lots of school Mums being surprised that we aren’t going away again.

I am surprised people can afford to go on holiday so much as well as have enough annual leave for it?!

Quite a few families from school have been away at Easter, May, then they’re having a UK break this summer as well as going abroad. Then they’ll be off somewhere again in October. Baffles me.

In between this, they have lots of days out at the weekend.

I’m not just talking about foreign holidays, even the UK isn’t cheap and then using up annual leave too.

Am I doing something wrong? We are cautious with money and need to plan annual leave carefully so have some spare in case of illness etc. It seems to be unusual these days to spend time at home or just doing low key stuff locally.

We do usually go away every holiday but not overseas. Maybe overseas once a year. Otherwise visiting friends or family in the UK. I don’t know anyone who goes overseas every holiday but the only people in my friends group who go properly away every holiday (not necessarily abroad but away to rented accommodation somewhere) are the families with two high earners and it makes sense that they could afford it.

You aren't doing it wrong, you're doing it differently. And that's okay!

Some people are richer than others?

Some will be paying a mortgage while others aren't so your cost of living may be very different even if incomes are similar?

Some people go to stay with family abroad so zero accommodation costs and maybe they can work remotely so grandparents do childcare while parents work? Would be cheaper than staying at home and paying for holiday camps.

Why would you expect all families at a school to be doing the same thing? The only thing you have in common is that you have kids of a similar age - there may be vast differences financially between families at a school.

Most people will have 28 days of leave which is plenty to be able to go away several times a year. I have 36 days and find surplus to requirement. I have sick pay and don't need to save holidays for an illness. Mind you, I've only used 4 sick days in the last three years.

You seem to be an unusually affluent school. Nobody at my DC's school would be surprised that we weren't going away in the summer, having been away at Easter. Probably because there are plenty of families that won't go away at all.

28 days annual leave is pretty common.

5 days annual leave at Easter - could be a 9+ day holiday using the weekends.

5 days in summer - same, 9 day hol if you want (I prefer leaving an acclimatisation buffer so you’re not going straight from holiday to work!)

Same in October half term.

Same at Christmas.

That’s only 20 days leave used - 5 days 4 times a year.

As for affordability…. Savings, visiting family, earning lots…. Someone just posted that they extended their mortgage to afford a holiday, don’t recommend that one!!

We have four holidays planned this year (Feb, June, September, November). I haven’t had an issue with booking annual leave. I don’t have to use leave for illness and neither does my husband. I didn’t realise some jobs did that.

In terms of expenditure, it can’t be a surprise that people have different incomes and spend differing amounts on holidays?

I think it's the mums at your school not in general. The observations about use of holiday are very valid. If someone is able to work from home, they perhaps don't need to think about time off for things like a tradesperson visiting, or indeed consider minor illness, as in the latter case they may not take time away from work.

"Lots of school Mums being surprised that we aren’t going away again."

Who the heck says, "oooh I AM surprised you're not going away in the summer holidays"?

What business is it of theirs anyway?

They sound like SchoolGate gloaters and quite judgemental.

It also sounds like they are trying to suss out whether you are in financial difficulties which is really nosey.

I actually think its nice to have outings from home in the summer and enjoy the best season of the year." And also nice, given everyone's busy life to be able to potter about a bit at home sometimes. The first two days of the holidays were always pyjama days at home, when DC were younger and they needed it too. And also nice to go away during half term perhaps to a warmer climate or at least a different one, rather than watch the rain drizzling down.

I'm between jobs so I've been away a lot this summer.

DC at the in-laws for a weekend. (Me and DH chilling at home)
Followed by:
2 weeks in France
One week staying with my Mum and Dad.
And then another weekend camping in the woods.

Its been great but the kids are a bit jaded now and missing their friends. I'll be more restrained next year.

going away doesn't have to be super expensive. Just do your research

You are not doing it wrong at all. I hate the pressure that people put on other people. A friend of mine takes her children away every single holiday - this summer holiday they have already been abroad are going away next week in the uk and then another foreign holiday end of August. They also have a cruise booked for October. We have a cheap uk holiday booked next week and that's it until next summer. I just don't get why people would want to be constantly on holiday - IMO these people struggle to entertain their children themselves and feel the need for constant activities

When I was growing up money was always tight but we usually managed a week or fortnight's family holiday - in the UK- during the summer break. So one holiday a year was the norm for me.

When I was married and had a child of my own we similarly only went on one holiday a year. Sometimes abroad, sometimes UK. But I used to be surprised by the Mum's of my DS's pals assuming that we would be also going away at Easter or every school holiday. It wasn't something I was used to and wasn't something we could afford. But tbh I think we were seen as a bit odd any way as our lifestyle was different . We didn't have a car and that was seen as peculiar.

We chose to spend our spare money on other things - music lessons for DS, books etc. He never suffered because of lack of holidays and has grown up a well rounded individual who travels now with his work and for leisure.

So I recognise the pressure of not doing what a lot of families seem to do I.e multiple holidays. But don't let it worry you. You and your family do what suits your lifestyle and budget and just dont bother about what others do.

Its fairly obvious your kid's classmates are much better off financially than you.

My kid's school is the same. The majority of the kids go away for October half term, ski in January, go away at Easter and go abroad for three to four weeks in the summer.
We're lucky to go away for two weeks during the summer! We are far less well off than most of the others.

Some people like to travel more than others. It doesn’t mean your friend doesn’t know how to entertain her kids and it doesn’t mean you are a bad parent for not taking your kids away more often.

Lets not throw people down to build others up.

It’s okay to have different priorities and have different financial positions.

We went away every school holiday last year and will be going away the end of August too. Mix of UK breaks and abroad. We are well off though and I don't think that is usual amongst DDs school friends

Complete opposite at DC's primary school. If you get away abroad you're in the minority.

Everyone has different circumstances and preferences.

We do go away most holidays but a lot of our trips are quite cheap - things like Eurocamp, Airbnbs, rather than 5* all inclusives.

Each to their own. We go away most school holidays. A mixture of UK & abroad. We love holidays & have the funds, so why not?

We earn well and no longer have a mortgage but we don't go away every school holiday. I am a teacher so get the holidays but dh works for himself so that's a factor.

We went to the Lake District at Feb half term (in a cottage but cheaper than at other times of year). We generally do a Lakes trip once a year as we love it there.

Currently we are abroad for 2 weeks in Austria. I will say that we chose a hotel - it's fabulous but not cheap so we won't be going anywhere else this summer or at Oct/Xmas.

I actually like having some of the holidays at home as does DS.

I must admit we’ve gone away a lot this year, UK twice, Spain and now we’re off camping for just over a week and then we’re spending a few days in Finland. We get 30 days of leave a year, as we both work part time that enables us to have quite a bit of time off, our industry also slows down in summer so we’re encouraged to be off work by our employer.

We chose to spend our spare money on other things - music lessons for DS, books etc. He never suffered because of lack of holidays and has grown up a well rounded individual who travels now with his work and for leisure

Many of the people who go abroad multiple times a year also pay for music classes, expensive sports equipment and tutors. They simply have more money and don't have to choose which they can afford.

We pay for music, sports and one holiday. Wish we could do a lot more but we have two kids and we don't earn enough to afford more. It is as simple as that.

I have 25 days annual leave and I use it all for holidays.

I take a week at Feb and Oct mid terms plus a week at Easter which with the bank holidays normally enables a two week break.

Same at Christmas, 5 days of leave adds up to more or less 10-14 days break.

I then take a week for summer which with weekends becomes a 10 day break and then I work for a week or two from overseas.

I doubt they're surprised you don't go away multiple times a year. They ask a stock question and expect to get a certain answer, so their surprise is only that get can't take their conversation in the safe direction they were hoping to ie listen politely about your holiday plans so they can tell you theirs.

There is someone at my DD school who both run their own company and literally go abroad every school holidays.

They were skiing in the first week of Jan. Dubai for Feb half term. 2 weeks in Gran Canaria at Easter. They went to Greece in May HT. Currently they are in the USA touring around in a massive touring caravan for 6 weeks of the school holidays. They are also in Turkey at Oct half term and are going to the Maldives for 2 weeks over Christmas.

They are really lovely people and I am so so jealous.