Going away (almost) every school holiday?

[Reddingmilk]

We went abroad at Easter so we aren’t going away this month. Lots of school Mums being surprised that we aren’t going away again.

I am surprised people can afford to go on holiday so much as well as have enough annual leave for it?!

Quite a few families from school have been away at Easter, May, then they’re having a UK break this summer as well as going abroad. Then they’ll be off somewhere again in October. Baffles me.

In between this, they have lots of days out at the weekend.

I’m not just talking about foreign holidays, even the UK isn’t cheap and then using up annual leave too.

Am I doing something wrong? We are cautious with money and need to plan annual leave carefully so have some spare in case of illness etc. It seems to be unusual these days to spend time at home or just doing low key stuff locally.

@PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich Yes perhaps it’s just that. It just made me feel like I should be doing more for my kids.

@madnessitellyou Thank you. I definitely need to pay less attention to what others are doing.

My GC go away every school holidays and my DD takes her eldest on a weekend away the middle of December, Amsterdam, Barcelona etc. I'm her childcare and for what I've spent on days out here, I'm pricing up a holiday for next Easter.
There'll be a difference in income, but also how much help they get (various family members buy for my GC, including trainers etc) and how they spend it, we don't have the heating permanently on like some on here and aren't over paying pensions etc. My DD takes upaid leave, or makes up her hours for medical appointments.

It’s not an affluent school. Just a regular primary in a northern town.

I think some of it is that it’s not what I was used to growing up. I only went on 3 abroad holidays in my whole childhood. My parents didn’t earn lots but they worked very hard and were careful with money. They are now retired and comfortable. My husbands parents had much better paid, more “middle class” jobs yet they spent way too much over the years and are now always moaning they haven’t go much money.

DH would probably choose to have more holidays but I think once a year is plenty.

I live in a fairly affluent area and this is quite normal for several families I know.
Lots have a SAHM but assume their DH have more AL than average or flexible jobs. A mum once said I was lucky not to have to deal with jetlag as I was working over Easter, not going on hol! One family I know the DH has at least 10 weeks AL most of which is school holidays.

DH is self employed and we go away once maybe twice a year, usually to UK, and maybe one or 2 overnight stays. We've had one fortnight holiday in 20 years, mostly 5-10 days.

We went away 10 times last year... Nothing to do with not entertaining my children... We love travelling and exploring new places 🤣

You can't do more if you can't afford to do more. Don't feel bad about it. The mums asking you where you were going were probably unaware that your circumstances are different. They wouldn't have intentionally asked you to make you feel bad and they won't ask you again now that they do know. At least that has been my experience. Even their kids learn not to talk about their month's trip around Australia unless it comes up naturally in a class discussion about the countries they have visited.

We have away a lot this year but those holidays were not too expensive. Trip in Rome at Easter, managed to find a cheap hotel + not eating out all the time. Spa weekend with friends so just me going and not the whole family. A week in Greece in June but we just paid the flights as we have friends living there. We are about to go to France as same we have family there so we just pay eurotunnel + food there. I have a cheap trip planned for Bristol in September and another one in Netherlands, and cheap trip again to Paris : Eurostar was 180 pounds return for 2 and £100 for hotel night. We are just staying 2 days !

We go away every school holiday - I'm lucky to be in a good financial position , and to have 16 weeks off each year (DD is at an independent school) but it is a priority as well.

My happiest childhood memories are of family holidays, and I lost a parent in my twenties so was very glad of the holidays we spent together.

Our holidays aren't individually expensive - mostly European eurocamps/ theme parks/UK breaks but they are a priority.

DD is in an independent school and I'm old and so mortgage free, which is how I can afford it. Just one child makes it much cheaper as we can share 1 hotel room too and I book a year in advance.

@Colinthecaterpillarstrikesagain I’m not sure if I’ve not explained it well, but we could afford more. I just don’t think it’s worth spending more money on. 1 holiday abroad a year seems plenty.

This is not about me being jealous of people going abroad.

and when I said about keeping annual leave for sickness. I didn’t mean for myself but for if the children need to stay off school.

Also -holidays were always a priority for me before I became a parent - every day of annual leave was spent abroad and I'd buy extra annual leave too. I love travelling, it's my main hobby .

If 1 holiday abroad is plenty for you then that’s that

For some people 1 holiday abroad is more than they’d want to do / be able to do

for some people 1 holiday abroad wouldn’t be enough

do you and ignore opinions

Well you said one holiday in your opening post and it was more about being surprised that people had more than one holiday. People who can afford more generally go or at at peace with not going abroad at all and don't generally open discussions about it.

And regarding annual leave, when people earn more, they have more leave as well. They don't have to 'keep some back' for just in case...... they have more flexibility and work longer hours when and if needed and when they 'need' time, they can take it as there is goodwill on both sides.

It sounds like your circumstances are different to others. Not necessarily worse. just different.

The mum was just making inane polite chit chat, holidays in the summer is pretty standard.

My kid is a few years away from school but we will be those people. We have very generous annual leave and love holidays. I'm also an immigrant and have relatives in some European holiday destinations and we go see them too, but random school mums wouldn't know that, they'd just hear "we're going to Mallorca for a week in October".

@Colinthecaterpillarstrikesagain I am opening the discussion about it because I want to hear other people’s opinions. Am I the odd one for not taking my kids away more.

I could have 1 kid off for a week with sickness bug, then the other kid the following week. So yes me and DH keep some leave for times like that and being able to attend concerts and other events at school.

It's not odd.. But then taking kids away every holiday isn't odd either. It's just different priorities. I live by the motto - you do you

It’s definitely not usual to go away every holiday - you must mix with some very affluent people OP.

You're possibly don't realise but you're coming across as quite defensive about your circumstances. It might be worth exploring why. You say you asked for opinions and the consensus is that other people have more disposable time and money and have the option of different choices that you currently don't have.

@Colinthecaterpillarstrikesagain No I obviously didn’t realise that.

We know quite a few families who spend the whole summer holidays back in their home countries, and have a country home in the U K so they spend a lot of weekends and school holidays there. DCs are at a London prep so quite an affluent group.

We go away about 5 times a year, but some are just UK theme park breaks for a few days. We could afford to go abroad more often but my dcs love theme parks so we are working our way through the UK ones. I find it quite tiring to travel with kids too, and need some time to just relax at home during school holidays. Also love doing days out in London and my dcs love doing activity camps so they wouldn't want to miss out by going on holiday every school holidays.

I think this is a weird question. You went abroad at Easter? And are feeling hard done by you can't go abroad again? You are better off than many. We went abroad twice in my children's childhood, both by coach, both to Europe. Apart from that we camped a lot, by public transport- and we visited relatives a lot. So we were probably away 3 -4 times a year. But add all our journeys up and money spent travelling in three years probably wouldn't touch the cost of your trip at Easter.

Stop moaning- if you want more time away with your children, do cheaper things. And count your blessings

@twopercent I’m not moaning?

your response doesn’t seem to fit my post.

I wouldn’t say you were moaning either but I do find these posts quite naive

Obviously other people have different priorities, likes, dislikes, jobs, wages, etc than others

You said you were baffled as to how and why others would go abroad more than once a year, your judgey mum friend questioned why you don’t go away more than once a year.

You are both as bad as each other. It doesn’t matter what others choose to do or not to do with their time and money

Having just said on the holiday thread that 3 days anywhere is enough for me I must say when my kids were primary / early secondary ages we went away every holiday because it was easier than trying to entertain them at home .

We live in a well off area. Quite a few families (say, half the class) seem to do 3 trips a year, it might be something like:

• feb: skiing or winter sun
• easter OR spring bank OR October - european sun somewhere thats warmer than uk, greece, spain, malta etc, or city breaks. Occasionally a destination like the US, Canada or Australia, especially if there are family to visit.
• august - actually often UK or northern europe. Nice parts of devon/cornwall/dorset. Jersey/guernsey, isle of wight. The Irish coast, scottish islands, scandinavia, switzerland or German lakes.

Christ not this again! Can you afford Heinz baked beans? 😂