To think that too many parents don't equip there older teens for adult life.

[RedHillSunsets]

DD is awaiting her A-level results and should start uni in September. Some of her friends have already been in uni for a year. I left home at 18 to train as a nurse (pre uni courses) and had been taught to cook, budget and sort things out for myself in readiness for entering the adult world.
I have tried to ensure that DD is also prepared. She can drive, cook, and budget and has a current account, savings account, and LISA. She has had a part-time job since she was 15 and plans to continue working through uni as the job is in a field related to her degree. We discuss things like mortgages, income tax, NI, loans, credit cards, bills, and insurance as I think financial education is so important.
It shocks me how little financial awareness and basic life skills many of her peers have.

Did your parents teach you the life skills you needed and will you pass them on to your children?

*everytime you are pulled up . Apologies for my bad writing

I think you are overlooking the fact that many parents clearly don’t have the skills or knowledge to pass on.

That’s why I think older teens should be taught the basics of cooking, financial planning and budgeting, and much more besides at school. Hopefully this might help to break the cycle.

I was fairly incompetent when I went to university, but learned as I went along. My parents left me to get on with it

Facebook group "what I wish I knew about university" is eye opening. I'm astonished how much parents do for their student children

So am I. DD can't drive for medical reasons. We are rural with not great transport options as well.

I wonder how many of these super independent kids had their driving lessons/cars bought for them by their parents though.

Thank you. x

I got taught nothing 🤣

I've done my best with cooking, cleaning, laundry and budgeting advice but have never considered it my responsibility to teach them to drive. That's an expensive business and they'll learn more about reality funding lessons and cars themselves. Coupled with the horrendous car accident statistics involving young people and the ready availability of public transport in university cities, I won't fund this, I consider it ridiculous but it seems to be more of a given that the bank of mum and dad fund lessons and a car nowadays.

My 16 year old DD popped a pack of three chocolate protein bars in my basket in waitrose. £4.75!

She's got a trial shift at the local pub on Tuesday - minimum wage £6.40 an hour.

Will be interesting to see if she thinks they're worth nearly an hours hard work....

I don’t think I did a load of laundry until I moved out (aged 18). Knew zero about money. Couldn’t really cook but could compile meals for myself. I don’t know why really. My mum was kind of depressed a bit. I figured it all out OK but recently I’ve been thinking about how as a child I felt pretty unsupported. So that’s an example of it I guess.

DD can:

• Drive
• Navigate + use public transport very well (she is a godsend to have with us when on holiday in new cities, like a walking + talking version of Google maps🤣)
• Meal plan, shop for ingredients on a budget and cook a variety of lovely, nutritious meals. She really enjoys it so has taken over most of the cooking at home
• Do laundry (reluctantly)

Her downsides are all financial.. she is slowly learning to save but despite my nagging it’s very much still a work in progress. She’s good at not buying constant rubbish, clothes etc but likes to treat herself every so often to ‘nice’ things (mainly holidays) that break the bank. I believe that a big part of the issue is the fact that she has never had a job due to chronic illness and therefore doesn’t have a good concept of the real value of money.

I’ve equipped my DC with social skills but I was reluctant for my dds to be taught domestic skills as I didn't want them to think, like many girls, that that was a model for their lives. As it turns out they’re all bright and capable - they cook amazing meals and can do what they need to do - it’s not rocket science after all.

I voted YABU because of your over emphasis on ‘financial skills’ - this is a very privileged pov and why you come across as smug. Budgeting and saving, and knowing about mortgages and ISAs suggests you have money to do this with in the first place. Not everyone does. Managing debt is the province of many working class people because they haven’t had the benefits of inherited wealth. And equally don’t want to just eat sawdust and live in sackcloth and ashes.

@Screamingabdabz

So you think teaching teens about financial matters means I'm privileged and have money, well you couldn't be more wrong! DH works full time and I had to give up work and claim carers allowance to look after my youngest. We get UC topp-ups.
The less money you have the more important it is to use it wisely and get the most out of it!

What a stupid thing to say

Re drive - I learnt after uni, it was never much use to me. We gave up ownership of a vehicle decades ago.

21/22 - a good age to learn

I do think that some parents like to indulge their own self view as endlessly sacrificing, forever giving perfect parents at the expense of preparing their children for real life. They have an idea of the sort of parent they want to be seen as, my kids are my world, no level of martyrdom is too great for them etc, that leads them to do way more than is healthy. It's very tempting to keep chasing the warm and fuzzy feeling of knowing your child never has to life a finger or put their hand in their pocket and enjoys the life of Riley because you're so great. Harder sometimes to hold back and let them develop independence.

I agree.
I know someone who has done too much for her DC and her good intentions have done them no favours.

Both have left full time education. Neither has a job. The university educated DC had their washing done by mum every two weeks while at university, although they can cook.

Basically, the mum has made a rod for her own back.