If you were about to be poor, what would you spend your money on now?

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To make life easier when your income drops?

We have some savings that can be spent on things that will save money in the long run get term.

I've just bought a slow cooker, for example. And I'm thinking about getting our windows upgraded to save on bills.

I would not make any large purchases immediately.

Track income and outgoings, see where savings can be made (with no outlay) by cutting back or changing a supplier.

Counselling/therapy for DH.

Absolute madness to 'spend to save', don't do it.
Keep your savings, that's the ONE THING you'll regret not having.
You'll have peace of mind that you can cope with an emergency. Half of the reason being poor is so tough is the uncertainty and worry that if anything goes wrong you are screwed.

Just buy is a good dehumidifier, it will save you money and keep your house mould-free.
And pay off car credits or credit cards debts if you have any.

I believe that if you claim universal credit there are schemes that replace boilers for free so that possibly won’t save any money. I saw it advertised somewhere. I would advise researching this before buying one if this is the case it could be beneficial to you.

I’m another one who wouldn’t spend my savings in this position other than to pay down some of the mortgage if you can afford that. Assuming you don’t have decent loft insulation already. You can cut costs by stopping using your dryer and cutting your general day to day spend. Def hang on to some savings.

I completely agree.

Many of these suggestions - solar panels, dentist, new car etc are all good suggestions for when you get back on your feet - not when you’re trying to save money.

Don’t buy a chest freezer which is going to cost you money to buy and run, if you don’t really need one.

If your DH is at home more then he can cook and you won’t need to freeze as much anyway.

Don’t get your windows replaced - just have the heating on less and wear layers.

You should be finding ways to save money by reducing your outgoings, rather than finding things to spend your money on.

You need to have a conversation with your DH about him picking up the slack.

You don’t need to use the dryer at all at the moment as cloth nappies will easily dry, especially in this weather.
But DH is going to need to keep on top of it.

I agree.

Erm, nothing? Spending money now because you will have less in the future just means you’ll have even less?

I’d be looking at where I can start making savings now, rather than where I should be having a shopping spree - if you are subscribing for multiuser access on netflix, go for the cheaper option. Cancel all non essential subscriptions. Start budgeting the food shop (weekly meal planner etc), and shop around at different stores for the bargains, after 5pm is best for buying meat and reduced priced meals that can be slapped in the freezer same day and eaten weeks later. Look to transfer utilities, mobile and other contracts to cheaper providers now. Go through clothing and get rid of excess items on Vinted. Start prepping CV and looking for additional or new jobs now?

But spending? Nope.

He needs to. The stress you’re feeling needs to be shared. It’s extremely unreasonable to expect you to work FT, do batch-cooking, meal planning, budgeting etc whilst he „reduces his hours“ and will be doing „more childcare“, whatever that actually means in practice.

as for your questions:

1. identify your outgoings
2. identify what could be reduced, how and whether that’s realistic.

let‘s assume you‘re spending an excessive amount on heating:

could you reduce that? How? And how much would those measures cost?

Might slippers, jumpers and insulating curtains work for you? Blocking the draft underneath doors / windows?

Or would you need new windows? A new heating system? And how does the amount you could (potentially) save compare to the „investment“ aka the cost of new windows?

Am I understanding this correctly?

DH has taken a lower paying job working PT, and you are going to have to work a second job in excess of FT hours? Why?

I wouldn’t be spending any money at all, I don’t understand your logic. Using the drier less is sensible, but any other savings need to be maintained to cover the shortfall.

How long is he planning to work PT/low pay?

Depends on circumstances, but I would pay off the mortgage, if possible. Or some of it, to reduce payments. But only if it didn’t significantly reduce my savings, because I would want to hang on to most of it.
Then house maintenance, boiler service, ensure cars are serviced and winter ready. Maybe reduce to one vehicle.
Our househod heating is oil and wood, so I would get a full tank of oil and buy in a load of wood.

A dehumidifier and a Sheila maid, heated throws and a slow cooker, freezer and air fryer, if you haven't got those already.
I wouldn't spend out more on windows or solar panels at this time. It is possible to do a lot of DIY insulation around doors and windows. I have a sheet of bubble wrap hung on a wire like a net curtain at my bathroom sash window. It makes such a difference and also adds privacy. Heavy lined velvet curtains also work well.

I wouldn't take on a second job. Being poor is exhausting enough, and it also takes extra time, to cook from scratch, research bargains and shopping, mending clothes instead of chucking out, etc.

If your husband is unable to work, (even a part time job would help,) perhaps he could volunteer at a charity shop, with the chance to buy things like decent second hand clothes. But he should certainly be taking the main role in childcare and housework.
Totally agree with the resentment bit, as outlined above. Another reason for not getting two jobs.
You'll manage.

If you're going to be time poor then I'd invest in anything that will make your home as efficient and manageable as possible. So hard wearing easy clean flooring and soft furnishings, excellent storage, labour saving appliances, get your garden into decent low maintenance no frills condition. Basically anything you feel will cut your domestic load to the minimum so you can focus on earning. Also, I'd be looking at things I needed to supplement income, top of my list if affordable would be a van. Often opportunities to make money if you've a van and a willing pair of hands.

It's understandable that you are panicking, but spending your savings right now is madness. Just make sure your savings account has the best interest rate. You should be looking at where you can save money. Cancel non-essentials. Buy cheaper and cook smarter. Sell unneeded clothes on Vinted/Ebay. Only dip into your savings when you have no other option. Hopefully your DH will start to feel better soon and be able to take on more work.

A warm coat.

Solar panels or / and an air source hear pump.
Id make my own electricity and get rid of the gas supply as well.

I have solar panels myself, but installed back when there was still a decent feed in tariff incentive.
personally I don’t think they are economically attractive in the current financial climate (unless you get some sort of incentive / grant for them).

I would focus on identifying where your power consumption is going first, which you’re already doing. Good luck. Drying nappies regularly would certainly add up I think

I've no idea what DH's long term plans are. I don't think he does either.

He's had to leave his last job because the company lost money. Including a lot of our money although he was not an owner.

I'm very frustrated about it all.

I assume you are getting legal advice about that. Hopefully you are recognised as creditors and the company isn’t bankrupt.

I have been poor

After paying bills

Money went on food, rucksack for carrying & a good pair of walking shoes, because I walked everywhere

a dehumidifier could be a really good buy for the cloth nappies - we recently got this one, it’s really powerful and has a laundry drying mode. https://www.meaco.com/products/meacodry-arete-two-12l-dual-dehumidifier-hepa-air-purifier

Likewise. We installed ours when we could sell back the electricity for more than you buy back and currently make about £3000 tax free per year. Now, however, the pay back is tiny so it’s better to use the electricity you make yourself.
Hence, no bills.

Totally get it about the dryer. I just don't see when I'll have time to be hanging nappies out.

I did cloth nappies without a dryer years ago on my first born. It was at least twi hours a week spent on hanging, collecting, folding. I don't think I'll have the time unless I lose sleep to do it

If you have any appliances that need replaced, replace them now. Trying to save up even for a basic appliance can be rough if you’re barely keeping your head above water. Buy a decent one now and get the extended warrantee (no I don’t sell car insurance )

Couldn’t your DH do it? Now that he’s reduced his hours (and you increased yours)?

disposable nappies might be an option as well.

Oh, I thought you meant fun stuff.

For me that would be a luxury holiday in the Maldives.

Can you clarify? I don’t understand this. Why does this mean he gets the luxury of working part time in a lower paying job?

Surely he is the one who should be working additional hours to compensate for this? Not you!!