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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

BF 50/50 dilemma. Supporting EXW.

78 replies

summernights2222 · 02/08/2024 22:37

Boyfriend is divorced with kids. I am child-free. He earns a lot more than I do - and we split things evenly whenever we go out.

I found out he paid for 2 cosmetic surgeries for his ex-wife in the past 3 months.

He also still travels with his family - and pays for the entire thing there too. All their flights, accommodation, food, drinks, activities etc... They are currently in the South of France. Yes, that benefits his kids too. So fair enough to some degree.

Whenever I talk about money, he changes the subject. He now wants to do a trip (post family trip) with me - but wants to split it evenly. AIBU to think this is insane? More so, because I did some accounting last week - and found out that not only was I paying half of things, but also more than my fair share of things. So I'm actually losing out here. So at the very minimum, I need to stop paying for so much.

He has every right to spend money on his children. He foots the bill for literally everything the kids do - and that's great given there are so many awful fathers in the world, but he's also still supporting his ex-wife too - despite the fact that she's more than financially well off. His argument is that she wants to hang onto her money and that he doesn't want to piss her off - as the kids would suffer as a result.

He's been divorced for 4 years. No, they are not still together. No, I was not the 'other woman' etc....

AIBU to think this is a great setup for him - but a shit one for me?

OP posts:
Wishihadanalgorithm · 03/08/2024 18:59

Oops. Didn’t see your latest update.

Well done on getting rid.

You can live happily ever after now.

Starseeking · 03/08/2024 19:09

I would not be happy with my DP going on a 3 week family holiday with his EXDW. I appreciate his DC are going, however given they've split, boundaries need to be drawn.

Just as well you've got rid of him OP, you now have the space to go and find someone perfect for you, who treats you as a priority in his life.

madameparis · 04/08/2024 09:13

Well done @summernights2222 you deserve a partner who will prioritise you. It is possible to make both your children and your partner a priority equally. He is not doing this at all. Good luck with your PHD and finding someone more deserving of you.

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