Does it bother you when someone doesn't like you?

[Teacherbee85]

So, I think probably most people wouldn't care about this and think it's ridiculous that I do.

There's a dance class I've been going to for a while and a new girl started a few months ago. I know her because I used to work with her - not in the same department but our paths crossed regularly and all was fine.

I made a point of saying hello, being friendly the first couple of times I saw her at the class. Just because I think it would have been weird not to - we know each other. But we both go to the class with our separate groups of friends.

Now, whenever she's at class she totally blanks me. We got put in the same group of about 10 to choreograph a dance last week and she acted like I didn't exist.

So - I've come to the conclusion that for whatever reason she doesn't like me. I have no idea why. It bugs me so much! I would never say anything but it's taking up space in my mind that I could really do without. We're not friends, she doesn't work at my work anymore either.

Why does this bother me so much? Am I being ridiculous? How can I stop thinking about it?

I honestly couldn’t give a hoot if someone likes me.
If you dont feed me or pay my bills why should
I care whether you like me or not?

Some people are either jealous for some reason, have issues going on in their head that you'll never fathom out, or are simply not worth bothering about. Or all three! Don't take it personally, it's their issue - not yours.

Do you think smiling at someone you know from a course is keen?

Or they don't need to like everybody just because the op has issues does not mean there is anything wrong with the other person?

Sweetheart, stop letting it bug you.

Cos it's not you but her who has the problem.

That comes across as very rude.

I've said several times now, that she would look at me and run off. We would meet each other's eye and she would leave the room. She obviously recognised me from the course or she wouldn't have had that reaction. I didn't take any notice of her and just ignored her back. I thought it was funny more than anything.

What problem?

suburberphobe
Sweetheart, stop letting it bug you.

Cos it's not you but her who has the problem.

What problem?

@Edingril being a rude person

Having reached my mid fifties I can honestly say I don't care if someone doesn't like me. You meet a lot of people in life and some you will really click with and some will probably irritate you. I would go to your dance class, have fun with your friends and blank her just like she does you. In the grand scheme of things she is unimportant.

I find it quite funny when I know someone doesn't like me for no apparent reason.

I think it's because I know they must have spent time thinking about me and come to the conclusion that they don't like me.

As a pp said, there's people I don't like, so it stands to reason others wouldn't like me.

For instance, I cannot stand my boss. She is definitely lacking a gene of humanity.

I used to spend hours thinking about something or other she had done that had pissed me off, or upset me, but then I came to the realisation, that I actually don't care. It's just my job and as long as I do what's needed to the best of my ability, there is actually fuck all she can do about it.

We're both at my workplace for the long haul and I let go of how annoyed I was and stopped letting her affect me and mainly stopped giving her any headspace and voilà, it worked.

Let it go. It will benefit you immensely.

If someone doesn't like me, that's their problem, not mine and I wouldn't spend any more time thinking about it.

Yes it bothers me. Probably because I know I am a nice person so it just seems unjust for someone not to like me! :D

Yes I get it despite me being there and experiencing it on many occasions, it's just coincidence. Enjoy the rest of your evening.

I am a people person, no strangers for me, just friends I haven't made yet.
I'll always talk to anyone.
No everyone likes that though, they don't want to be my friend and that's fine, I hope they surround themselves with people who they do enjoy if they want, or enjoy their solitude. They're happy, I'm happy for them. They dont have to like me and I don't have to be liked. Nothing bad happens, it's just how it is.
As long as someone doesn't actively try to be hurtful towards me and just ignores me, it's fine. Just think to yourself, what's so bad and the answer usually is nothing. Just people being people.
You can't like everyone and likewise.
Also people can struggle with friendly people, it seems disingenuous to some or other people have been hurt by being befriended and then dropped and have their guard up. I've found if people don't like me and I've not done anything to be disliked, then it's just who they are.

Try to combat each negative thought of "She doesn't like me" with the counter argument, "but this person does", choose a new person each time.

You are liked and loved by many. Don't let one person ever take that away from you when it's really not your problem.

Usually no.

But a girl at work (and she is a girl, only 20) has gone around telling everyone she's never liked me and I need "putting in my place" it's really riled me as I've been nothing but nice to her and thought we got on okay

Not in the slightest 🤣

Nope, no bother to me - but generally I've worn other people's irrational hatred of me like a 'Badge of Honour'.

If there is one thing in life I can't handle it's someone not liking me. Most people do, at least superficially, I am sociable and I like others and they can tell. I don't have any great talents but I guess my superpower is my social skills. I can connect to almost anybody and have been told I have a way of making people feel comfortable. I also can be witty if I'm in the right form. But if I don't have this I'm not sure what else I have to offer the world, its my 'thing'. I think this is why I am quite devastated when someone doesn't like me, I'm not used to it and it makes me feel like I've failed. I get obsessed with the why but never really got answers.

I’m quite solitary and my heart sinks a bit when I see people I vaguely know and think small talk might be required - when I was really hoping for down time on my own.
I can do it if I have to, and have to be reasonably sociable for work, but if I can get away with pretending I’ve not seen someone I often will. Probably too often!
From this thread it looks like I’m quite unusual but I think there are quite a few of us who get a bit drained by the kind of light conversations others enjoy.
I absolutely love a good chat with a close friend, but for me bumping into a neighbour or former colleague is a different category entirely. (Particularly on the train etc, just when I thought I had half an hour to myself)
Obv I don’t know what’s in the mind of your former colleague but just to put the case out there that she might be a bit socially awkward and find it easier to stick with the gang she properly knows.

I haven't read the full thread but yes it annoys me. I have someone like this in my life, super friendly for ages then suddenly started blanking me. Luckily I knew from my previous chats with them that they are people to judging, gossiping and falling out with people so I know logically it's a them problem rather than anything I've done.

Regardless it plays on my mind and because it's someone I have to see quite often it makes situations awkward and unpleasant. I wouldn't call it out because it gives them the attention and drama they desperately need. Equally I kind of feel like they should be put in a position to explain their pettiness just so everyone can see what sad acts they are.

Alas the world is full of pricks.

Mind you, even I wouldn’t ignore someone if I was put in a group activity with them and obviously knew who they were

Maybe she had a bad time at that old workplace and you are from that time of her life.

I was treated poorly at a previous job and if I saw anyone who was friendly with the person who poorly treated me, I would want to avoid them. Realistically, they may not even have really known what was happening but I'd feel like they were connected.

Just because someone who can't handle someone not liking believes someone is rude does not make them rude

If some of these replies are genuine there are people who need serious help