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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think life in England must be much easier

245 replies

Heatethelastwaffle · 02/08/2024 20:21

I’m British but live abroad.
We are struggling a lot financially at the moment, life is hard, although the sun shines.
Where we are, if you fall into a hole, you’re pretty much screwed. Benefits exist, but you have to be very much on the breadline and even then it’s not enough to survive. There is a national health service, but it’s not great, so I’m having to pay out of my own money for private consultations. I have a chronic illness but no benefits whatsoever exist, my Dd is potentially suffering from Pans/pandas, they haven’t heard of it where we are, I’ve been to three separate Drs who had no idea what I’m talking about, There’s no help with rent, with housing, with bills and so on if you fall on hard times.

I want to go home, it may be depressing in some ways in England but you’re secure.

OP posts:
Genevieva · 03/08/2024 09:42

PaminaMozart · 02/08/2024 21:49

This doesn't make any sense. If someone is born in the UK, they would normally be a British citizen.

There are a few exceptions, e.g. if the parents were foreigners on visas that do not entitle them to pass on citizenship. However, if your friend grew up in the UK, I think she would have qualified for citizenship at some point.

If born after 1981 it’s perfectly possible. Babies born to non-citizens are not automatically British. She will have another citizenship though (her parents’) and will have travelled to Australia on a passport for that country, so will have been aware of the consequences.

sashh · 03/08/2024 09:43

Gillypie23 · 02/08/2024 21:25

You've not lived in the UK for years . Not paid into the system. You want to come back to claim benefits. Cheek of it.

Also you can't do that. You need to be 'Habitually Resident'.

Genevieva · 03/08/2024 09:45

PaminaMozart · 02/08/2024 22:17

if you do choose to return you won’t be able to access the NHS without charge for a certain amount of time

When was this change enacted?

It used to be the case - and I think it still is - that a British citizen who returns permanently to the UK can access the NHS free of charge more or less from day one. Proof needed includes passport and proof of address (utility bill, council tax or electoral roll).

It's non-citizens on visas that have to pay an NHS surcharge until they get ILR.

However, I believe it takes 6 months to be able to claim UC or other benefits.

You are right. All a British citizen needs to do is provide proof of address and register at a GP.

gizatwirl · 03/08/2024 09:52

Hummingbird75 · 03/08/2024 08:46

But you overlook the disgraceful way the Gulf countries treat their workers and women in general? The confiscation of passports and freedom when they arrive? The very poor standard of living for those that are not wealthy western ex pats. You are painting a very one sided picture of a place that has sky high death rates amongst construction workers for example...

Until you've lived here you have no idea what you're talking about. For a start I don't live in Dubai and all workers here are treated as they would be in the UK. For any employer to hold passports is a criminal offence and the courts come down on them like a ton of bricks. During the summer months no work is allowed outside unless in extreme emergency and again this is followed to the letter. All workers accomodation is regularly inspected by the ministry to ensure safe and clean living conditions. It is an offence to withold wages and again this is prosecuted harshly by the courts. Housemaids earn the equivalent of 7GBP per hour and when translated to the currency of the country they're from goes a long way. My cleaning lady is from Sri Lanka but has been here for 30yrs and has a huge client base. Her wages here have paid for a mansion house back in Sri Lanka with a tea plantation and she is the biggest employer in her village. As for women being treated terribly,please! My local friends laugh at the image people like you have of them. They all work,drive,dress how the hell they want,go out when they want and...they enjoy a nice cocktail or glass of wine whenever they want and they are all Muslim. You need to step away from the Grauniad or wherever you're getting your outdated and frankly offensive opinions from. This country is safe and pleasant for all citizens and expats alike no matter their race or religion and a thousand miles away from the cesspit the UK is turning into. In fact I might just stay here.

Knittwit · 03/08/2024 10:00

I haven’t read the whole thread, but re PANDAS. I know someone who had to really fight in the UK to get help. They ended up going private. I think it was treated with antibiotics. You wouldn’t have thought you’d have to fight so hard for that.

Genevieva · 03/08/2024 10:01

Ace56 · 03/08/2024 07:49

Don’t see the issue here - £50 a week is more than enough to buy food and toiletries for one person. This is very generous compared to other countries

A different issue and I don’t want to derail the thread, but put taxpayer funded illegal immigrant bill is unsustainable. There are a number of reasons for this, but I think that any accommodation and spending money should be a loan paid back like a student loan.

Hummingbird75 · 03/08/2024 10:04

gizatwirl · 03/08/2024 09:52

Until you've lived here you have no idea what you're talking about. For a start I don't live in Dubai and all workers here are treated as they would be in the UK. For any employer to hold passports is a criminal offence and the courts come down on them like a ton of bricks. During the summer months no work is allowed outside unless in extreme emergency and again this is followed to the letter. All workers accomodation is regularly inspected by the ministry to ensure safe and clean living conditions. It is an offence to withold wages and again this is prosecuted harshly by the courts. Housemaids earn the equivalent of 7GBP per hour and when translated to the currency of the country they're from goes a long way. My cleaning lady is from Sri Lanka but has been here for 30yrs and has a huge client base. Her wages here have paid for a mansion house back in Sri Lanka with a tea plantation and she is the biggest employer in her village. As for women being treated terribly,please! My local friends laugh at the image people like you have of them. They all work,drive,dress how the hell they want,go out when they want and...they enjoy a nice cocktail or glass of wine whenever they want and they are all Muslim. You need to step away from the Grauniad or wherever you're getting your outdated and frankly offensive opinions from. This country is safe and pleasant for all citizens and expats alike no matter their race or religion and a thousand miles away from the cesspit the UK is turning into. In fact I might just stay here.

We lived in the UAE for two years, thanks. We have been travelling there for the last 23 years and have seen all of the changes take place.

Our experience is the disgusting treatment of women and in particular Asian women. Yes passports are removed by employers, they were also forced to work 15 hour days - sometimes 7 days a week (home help in particular) for months on end as you well know. The workers have virtually no rights at all in my experience, and are contractually 'locked in' with no means to exit for over a year sometimes up to three years.

The underbelly of work and construction in Dubai and UAE in general has rightly attracted international attention because of the lack of safety measures and the number of deaths.

We regularly fly in and stay in Dubai as a stopover and it is the most soulless place, and lost it sparkle a very long time ago.

I find it depressing beyond belief that you do not value human rights at all.
Most of my friends that live in Dubai spend much of the year in London! So it can't be that bad!! 😂

Here are the facts behind the bling:

https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2022/mar/11/up-to-10000-asian-migrant-workers-die-in-the-gulf-every-year-claims-report

Up to 10,000 Asian migrant workers die in the Gulf every year, claims report

Campaigners say not enough is being done to prevent loss of life and the causes of death are not being properly investigated

https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2022/mar/11/up-to-10000-asian-migrant-workers-die-in-the-gulf-every-year-claims-report

Charlieiscool · 03/08/2024 10:05

Plenty of expats resident abroad get their healthcare paid for by the NHS. In Greece the doctors then sometimes ask for a cash top up in an envelope.

x2boys · 03/08/2024 10:10

XelaM · 03/08/2024 05:44

I moved to the UK from Germany and I think Germany is a much nicer and safer (in terms of financial security) place to live. I'm only staying here until my daughter finishes her GCSEs. Then I'm moving (whether back to Germany or somewhere sunny remains to be seen).

The UK is miserable. The weather is awful, everything is insanely expensive, medical care leaves a lot to be desired, taxes are huge, the education system is terrible. There are much nicer places out there.

Why did you move if the uk is so terrible?

gizatwirl · 03/08/2024 10:16

Hummingbird75 · 03/08/2024 10:04

We lived in the UAE for two years, thanks. We have been travelling there for the last 23 years and have seen all of the changes take place.

Our experience is the disgusting treatment of women and in particular Asian women. Yes passports are removed by employers, they were also forced to work 15 hour days - sometimes 7 days a week (home help in particular) for months on end as you well know. The workers have virtually no rights at all in my experience, and are contractually 'locked in' with no means to exit for over a year sometimes up to three years.

The underbelly of work and construction in Dubai and UAE in general has rightly attracted international attention because of the lack of safety measures and the number of deaths.

We regularly fly in and stay in Dubai as a stopover and it is the most soulless place, and lost it sparkle a very long time ago.

I find it depressing beyond belief that you do not value human rights at all.
Most of my friends that live in Dubai spend much of the year in London! So it can't be that bad!! 😂

Here are the facts behind the bling:

https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2022/mar/11/up-to-10000-asian-migrant-workers-die-in-the-gulf-every-year-claims-report

Edited

As I said I don't live in UAE and as I'm sure you're aware not all Gulf countries are the same. Here health and safety is extremely high,especially when it comes to construction. All of the sites are to British standards and most,if not all of the health and safety managers are British expats with many years experience in their field. I'm not denying for one minute the disgraceful and inhumane treatment of Indian workers in UAE and Qatar,it's horrible and is the reason I won't even visit let alone live there. The country I live in is not the same.

Pintu · 03/08/2024 10:16

People are talking out of their backsides. Brits simply need to show proof of citizenship and address to register for a GP. Mind you I wouldn't be moving to Cornwall hoping for decent medical care....

Genevieva · 03/08/2024 10:19

gizatwirl · 03/08/2024 09:52

Until you've lived here you have no idea what you're talking about. For a start I don't live in Dubai and all workers here are treated as they would be in the UK. For any employer to hold passports is a criminal offence and the courts come down on them like a ton of bricks. During the summer months no work is allowed outside unless in extreme emergency and again this is followed to the letter. All workers accomodation is regularly inspected by the ministry to ensure safe and clean living conditions. It is an offence to withold wages and again this is prosecuted harshly by the courts. Housemaids earn the equivalent of 7GBP per hour and when translated to the currency of the country they're from goes a long way. My cleaning lady is from Sri Lanka but has been here for 30yrs and has a huge client base. Her wages here have paid for a mansion house back in Sri Lanka with a tea plantation and she is the biggest employer in her village. As for women being treated terribly,please! My local friends laugh at the image people like you have of them. They all work,drive,dress how the hell they want,go out when they want and...they enjoy a nice cocktail or glass of wine whenever they want and they are all Muslim. You need to step away from the Grauniad or wherever you're getting your outdated and frankly offensive opinions from. This country is safe and pleasant for all citizens and expats alike no matter their race or religion and a thousand miles away from the cesspit the UK is turning into. In fact I might just stay here.

Any chance of telling us which one it is?

Hummingbird75 · 03/08/2024 10:21

gizatwirl · 03/08/2024 10:16

As I said I don't live in UAE and as I'm sure you're aware not all Gulf countries are the same. Here health and safety is extremely high,especially when it comes to construction. All of the sites are to British standards and most,if not all of the health and safety managers are British expats with many years experience in their field. I'm not denying for one minute the disgraceful and inhumane treatment of Indian workers in UAE and Qatar,it's horrible and is the reason I won't even visit let alone live there. The country I live in is not the same.

So why the hell are you bothering to defend it? Or to say you will 'stay there' your posts make no sense at all.

We lived in Abu Dhabi and other areas of the Gulf. It is not just one place, and the treatment of workers was just appalling in each place we lived. The treatment of women was a disgrace, and most muslim women do NOT drink cocktails and wear what they like ffs.

Qatar was the very worst. It was so strict and uncomfortable.

The UK is an incredible place to live, safe, generous and with decent human rights. As a mother of two dds the idea of raising them in the ME fills me with horror tbh.

Areolaborealis · 03/08/2024 10:27

Heatethelastwaffle · 02/08/2024 20:21

I’m British but live abroad.
We are struggling a lot financially at the moment, life is hard, although the sun shines.
Where we are, if you fall into a hole, you’re pretty much screwed. Benefits exist, but you have to be very much on the breadline and even then it’s not enough to survive. There is a national health service, but it’s not great, so I’m having to pay out of my own money for private consultations. I have a chronic illness but no benefits whatsoever exist, my Dd is potentially suffering from Pans/pandas, they haven’t heard of it where we are, I’ve been to three separate Drs who had no idea what I’m talking about, There’s no help with rent, with housing, with bills and so on if you fall on hard times.

I want to go home, it may be depressing in some ways in England but you’re secure.

A lot of what you have said will apply to many people in the UK.

7 weeks where we are to access a GP - years long wait for treatment.

Benefits are minimal and slow - standard is to go 6 weeks without anything so people access food banks to survive. Then they can look forward to living on the breadline.

Many people with chronic health issues are denied disability benefits.

Not everyone gets help with housing costs and if you have a mortgage your pretty much screwed if you are unable to work. Thousands are in temporary and unsuitable housing - hotels and B&Bs - for years.

StickItInTheFamilyAlbum · 03/08/2024 10:31

XelaM · 03/08/2024 07:37

I did say "move back to Germany OR somewhere sunny" 😅 although summers in the part of Germany where my parents live are usually very hot. I will definitely leave the UK but my daughter is in Year 10 so waiting for her to finish her GCSEs. Don't worry, my tax bill is absolutely huge and must help support a bunch of UK families on various benefits.

Your personal tax bill runs into several hundred thousand pounds per annum? Or do you mean it runs to £30K per annum (still lots of families if you're just talking CB)?

£102.40 every 4 weeks (£25.60 per week) for the first or only child and £67.80 every 4 weeks (£16.95 per week) for each additional child.

Hummingbird75 · 03/08/2024 10:31

Areolaborealis · 03/08/2024 10:27

A lot of what you have said will apply to many people in the UK.

7 weeks where we are to access a GP - years long wait for treatment.

Benefits are minimal and slow - standard is to go 6 weeks without anything so people access food banks to survive. Then they can look forward to living on the breadline.

Many people with chronic health issues are denied disability benefits.

Not everyone gets help with housing costs and if you have a mortgage your pretty much screwed if you are unable to work. Thousands are in temporary and unsuitable housing - hotels and B&Bs - for years.

Here we can see a GP the next day (SW England) We have family all over the UK and no one is waiting 7 weeks! Where do you live?

Benefits are generous compared to most other countries, and so are living standards for the poor.

People will genuine disability will be awarded PIP. It is rightly rigourous.

Healthcare here is completely free, so yes you might need to wait if it is not an emergency but you will never need to pay for it.

Isn't it wonderful we house people in B&Bs and hotels, you would be on the streets in most other countries (inc super wealthy ones like the US) if you are in the same situation there.

You honestly don't know how fortunate you are. Take a trip to any big city in the US or India for instance....educate yourself.

gingercat02 · 03/08/2024 10:36

TheYearOfSmallThings · 02/08/2024 21:52

I never knew that! I genuinely thought you could always go back to the country of your birth.

It may depend if you have taken citizenship elsewhere. My parents lived in Spain for over 20 years. No UK home or GP, etc, they have Redency, i.e., they have most of the rights the Spanish have, but they aren't Spanish citizens. They came back and bought a house, registered with a GP, all no bother.

TonTonMacoute · 03/08/2024 10:37

Heatethelastwaffle · 02/08/2024 23:51

@TheGirlattheBack Where are you please? We’d be moving to Cornwall

I think you will find that absolutely none of the problems you describe will be in any way better in Cornwall.

In spite of its reputation as a beautiful place for holidays, the reality of living here is very different - especially in terms of access to good NHS treatment.

You would be much better off somewhere with a good hospital. Bristol maybe.

RosesAndHellebores · 03/08/2024 10:37

@Heatethelastwaffle I love living in the UK but we also have a home in France and if it weren't for the tax situation we would have a better life there albeit without a need for any social/health benefits. We have never had any family support.

I don't think you have said how old your dd is. I think you should come home but do so with your eyes open and research pickets of the country where healthcare and education are good. Sadly I don't think that's Cornwall, particularly in respect of healthcare.

FWIW my dd had some MH issues ten years ago and was actively self harming. There was little NHS help or support through CAMHS and what was available was poor and out of date. DD recovered and manages her anxiety, depression and ADHD well but it took £8000 of private care paid directly by us and about another £8000 funded by BUPA. Further I have severe osteoporosis and was denied optimal treatment on the NHS because I didn't quite meet the bar by sustaining two further severe breaks on zolendronate, because I was under 65. The treatment was provided via the NHS but I had to pay for it: £2400.

The grass may not be too much greener here and the middle is getting ever more squeezed and will be more so under this government. Don't underestimate how much more you need to earn here to have a measurable better quality of life than those who qualify for tax credits, universal credit etc.

Good luck.

Areolaborealis · 03/08/2024 10:38

Hummingbird75 · 03/08/2024 10:31

Here we can see a GP the next day (SW England) We have family all over the UK and no one is waiting 7 weeks! Where do you live?

Benefits are generous compared to most other countries, and so are living standards for the poor.

People will genuine disability will be awarded PIP. It is rightly rigourous.

Healthcare here is completely free, so yes you might need to wait if it is not an emergency but you will never need to pay for it.

Isn't it wonderful we house people in B&Bs and hotels, you would be on the streets in most other countries (inc super wealthy ones like the US) if you are in the same situation there.

You honestly don't know how fortunate you are. Take a trip to any big city in the US or India for instance....educate yourself.

This is why nothing improves for vulnerable people because so many are oblivious and in denial about what is really going on.

Hummingbird75 · 03/08/2024 10:39

Areolaborealis · 03/08/2024 10:38

This is why nothing improves for vulnerable people because so many are oblivious and in denial about what is really going on.

No, I have a broad base in which to compare it with and the UK is a very caring society on the whole that has always prioritised health and housing regardless of income.

JasmineTea11 · 03/08/2024 10:40

This is true Op. And something that people who've never lived outside the UK can't appreciate. Sun shining doesn't solve the problems you're referring to, and never will. But, as always it's a case of weighing up all pros and cons. Some expats feel the challenges etc are worthwhile for the lifestyle they have, or they've become stuck in their expat position. Only you know where your at, as a family. Do you have a partner? If so, much depends on how they feel no?

gizatwirl · 03/08/2024 10:40

Hummingbird75 · 03/08/2024 10:21

So why the hell are you bothering to defend it? Or to say you will 'stay there' your posts make no sense at all.

We lived in Abu Dhabi and other areas of the Gulf. It is not just one place, and the treatment of workers was just appalling in each place we lived. The treatment of women was a disgrace, and most muslim women do NOT drink cocktails and wear what they like ffs.

Qatar was the very worst. It was so strict and uncomfortable.

The UK is an incredible place to live, safe, generous and with decent human rights. As a mother of two dds the idea of raising them in the ME fills me with horror tbh.

I'm saying the country I live in is not the same as UAE,do you understand that? And 'FFS' all of my Muslim friends absolutely DO drink alcohol and wear what they like. I didn't for one minute say or imply that ALL Muslim women do this I said the ones who are my friends do.

Lovelysummerdays · 03/08/2024 10:41

bert3400 · 02/08/2024 21:37

I don't think you can just go back to the UK and start claiming benefits or even use the NHS . You need to pay into the system and you haven't. I'm sure it's a very difficult situation but you can't expect the British public to prop you up if you haven't contributed with NI contributions

I think there is a wait for benefits but NHS you can use straight away if you intend to return and be permanently domiciled. I came back from Canada about 7 months pregnant. No issues switching to NHS care.?

Hummingbird75 · 03/08/2024 10:44

gizatwirl · 03/08/2024 10:40

I'm saying the country I live in is not the same as UAE,do you understand that? And 'FFS' all of my Muslim friends absolutely DO drink alcohol and wear what they like. I didn't for one minute say or imply that ALL Muslim women do this I said the ones who are my friends do.

Genuinely I have no idea what on earth you are talking about or where you are from that muslim women are getting pie eyed in bikinis. Seriously. It is offensive.

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