To think life in England must be much easier

[Heatethelastwaffle]

I’m British but live abroad.
We are struggling a lot financially at the moment, life is hard, although the sun shines.
Where we are, if you fall into a hole, you’re pretty much screwed. Benefits exist, but you have to be very much on the breadline and even then it’s not enough to survive. There is a national health service, but it’s not great, so I’m having to pay out of my own money for private consultations. I have a chronic illness but no benefits whatsoever exist, my Dd is potentially suffering from Pans/pandas, they haven’t heard of it where we are, I’ve been to three separate Drs who had no idea what I’m talking about, There’s no help with rent, with housing, with bills and so on if you fall on hard times.

I want to go home, it may be depressing in some ways in England but you’re secure.

So you run several companies, you use private healthcare, you are in a good position in life, and yet you are getting this angry about someone who is clearly unhappy and reaching out for help? You're acting like a child. A child who reads the daily mail.

No it isn’t a horrible thing to say. The OP has clearly fallen on hard times. She will be returning to take from the NHS that is falling apart. We are taking money from our pensioners because labour are morally bankrupt. Parents who have worked their backsides off are being taxed just because they have chosen to give their child a better chance education wise. The middle are being squeezed to the point of no return.

It is simply not acceptable that someone should be able to swan back to the UK when she moved away for greener grass. There will be children with the same condition as the OPs child that will have to wait in a queue because of this woman’s life choices. People who have paid towards the services she will be getting for free.

She needs to stay where she is and figure it out. There are always jobs. If you are struggling you get a second, third job until you make it work.

Actually there are not always plentiful jobs at all, so she may not be able to get 3 jobs to pay her medical expenses and living costs, have you seen the unemployment stats in some parts of southern Europe?

It is this kind of comment that really makes me realise people in the UK have no idea about the realities of living in other countries, even supposedly first world ones! Life overseas scratching around without state support is truly frightening especially if you are old, disabled or have children.

Op, come home, get a well paid job as soon as you can here, things will only get worse as you get older in my experience.

You're really taking all this out on the wrong person. You're tying yourself up in knots here.

Do you also think England has plentiful jobs? If so please do tell me where. My 18;year old hasn't been able to get a job in the last year.

@iamtheblcksheep Such horrible comments.
I am British, born in England, school, college, university there. Worked there part time since I was 15, worked full time for years and years and contributed to the system, same for my Dh, both are families still live there.
Live In a European country and have also both always worked and contributed to the system. Now having a health problem myself, my Dd being in a horrendous situation where no one has knowledge of her condition at all, no support whatsoever-state or family and huge cost of living. I’m paying in desperation for private appointments for my Dd in the hope of getting her some help, whilst also being ill myself and having to push myself in a job I will likely lose, due to the amount of time I have to take off for illness or to look after Dd. Schools here have barejy any knowledge of any special needs or issues with children and will offer no support id imagine when I attempt to take Dd back to school in September, she likely will be too anxious to go and I will struggle with that, with no support. Meanwhile Dh working his arse off in a job that pays much lower than it would in the U.K., even though our cost of living is on par or higher and doesn’t receive proper holiday or sick or time off for bereavement, which he’s just experienced in his family, but had to go back to work after two days to grieve and just ‘Get on with it’
I’m mid 40’s now and we moved abroad when younger and travelled and worked to experience life, now we have no life.
Don’t worry I don’t expect to ‘Just walk into the NHS and take other peoples spaces who’ve paid into the system’ (as have I for 30 years, divided between U.K. and a European country) I will likely pay for private help for my Dd from the sale of our house, the point is there is support and knowledge there about her condition, I can get HELP, there is family support there, we will both work of course but should something go wrong, someone dies, we fall ill, there is help and support there
You know nothing about my life or family and how hard we have worked and what we are going through.

I want to come back to my home now.

Neither has my 21 year old. Job situation is currently dire in some areas.

As I posted before, I am someone who lived overseas for more than a decade.

I worked and paid taxes before I went, I have worked and paid taxes since I returned.

Before I left - no children - I was a net contributor. Since returning - one child - probably a net beneficiary. DD is nearly finished in education and will then get a job and pay taxes, while the UK was 'spared' the first decade of her life in medical and educational costs.

Both *Our families still living there

Absolute poverty in England is very different to poverty in other countries.

People living here have no idea how much we are protected against actual poverty. It’s impossible to realise this unless you’ve lived elsewhere though.

I could make a few phone calls on Monday and he’d have a job by lunchtime. There are thousands of jobs. If he’s struggling for work there are factories and farms all screaming out for workers. When I was setting up businesses and needed extra cash, I worked days in my own businesses and evenings in factories. I floated in and out of factories and could get a job the same day when I needed it. This wasn’t too many years ago.

There are jobs if you are willing to do anything.

Agree with previous posters regarding jobs. Apart from certain areas , they absolutely do exist but many English people will not do minimum wage jobs.

The vitriol in your posts is somewhat alarming, are you actually ok? Your issue is with how badly this country has been run into the ground and respectfully that has nothing to do with op.

We returned to the Uk very easily after four and a half years abroad but it was 20 years ago that we returned. We were able to access NHS treatment straight away. We both found jobs really quickly on returning but were able to claim tax credits because we had young kids , and child benefit straight away. I think now you have to sit the habitual residency test to show you are planning to be habitually resident but as you said you aren't looking to claim benefits. If you did need to look at disability benefits for either you or your daughter ( sorry no idea what Pans/ Panda is ) then certainly for adult disability benefits even for Uk citizens you have to have been resident in the country for roughly two out of the past three years. Sorry I've no idea if it's the same for DLA for children.
My own personal thoughts are that the Uk is on a bit of a downward slide currently but that may still be better than where you are living. Good luck, I hope you manage to make it work.

Are you also sick of people who never left the UK, but aren’t net contributors?
Or just of those who dared to do something differently and go abroad for a while?
That argument “they haven’t paid into our system” is an odd one.
Did UK citizens who never left have to pay into the system for a while before being allowed to use it? Someone moving from abroad wasn’t paying into the system, but they also weren’t using any services.
OP doesn’t seem to be planning to come to the UK for free healthcare only and then bugger off again.
Surely if she and her family stay here they will be paying into the system too?
Do you object to any kind of immigration? Do you realise that when skilled immigrants move here, they start using services they hadn’t paid for but they also bring skills UK hadn’t paid for because those people were trained in their home countries?

Then make a decision to come home! Life’s too short.

Ignore the negatives. Can you move in with family? Leave DH to sort the house? You can get your DD settled in school and find a job.

I think you may be mixing up absolute poverty with relative poverty?

Ah ok, I understand with your family being here, that's makes a huge difference. If I had my family here, I wouldn't leave either as I'm well aware the standard of living is so much better.

Yes, I speak fluent German. Germans are lovely to chat to at baby groups, nursery pick ups, work. But it's just incredibly difficult breaking down that wall to become a proper friend. It's almost like they have their own lives and friends and don't need any more.

I’m going to ignore all the negative chat about coming home to get free treatment from a system you haven’t paid into. The truth is that the biggest recipients are always the ones who contribute least. That’s the way the system works. Of course you can come home if you want to, whatever the reason.

But it isn’t all rays of sunshine here either. We have the highest taxes in our peacetime history, trumped only by the very end of WW2. Mortgage rates are through the roof. We have the highest utility bills in Europe. The NHS is inherently dysfunctional and hanging on by a threat. I believe my area is typical in having an 18 month waiting list for most departments, with the exception of cancer services for things like breast lumps that are subject to special 3 week pathways. There are more potholes in the roads than ever before…

That is my point. No one capable of critical thinking can actually claim a third of U.K. children are living in poverty that would be recognisable to anyone who had ever experienced poverty.

It undermines the definition of poverty to claim that a third are experiencing it.

OP I would move back and use the NHS and the many other benefits of living in England to get a better lifestyle. Ignore those saying you are wrong to do so.

I imagine none of them have refused child benefit or tax credits.

"The truth is that the biggest recipients are always the ones who contribute least. That’s the way the system works. Of course you can come home if you want to, whatever the reason." 👏👏
So true @Genevieva

It's what makes us human, creating a system where everyone is supported even at some cost to ourselves, with the aim of ensuring everyone has a decent standard of living.

Hi @Heatethelastwaffle I’ve just moved back to the uk from being an expat. I was really worried with all the horror stories but things have been generally positive. Both my children have places in the nearest school for September which is rated good. We joined a gp and both my son and I have had same day appointments when we called.

We have been enjoying parks, free museums and local theatre so far. It is also great having family around. I think as an expat you know when it is time to come home! It sounds like it is time for you now. Maybe do some research on areas and schools etc. for the area you will move to.

For those worried about people claiming please be reassured I worked for 20 years paying tax etc before moving abroad and I will work here now once I am settled. I am living off savings now and not claiming anything.

Please ignore those who are very negative OP. If you feel it is truly time to move back do so. Take your time, plan and research so you can do your best for you and your family.

Good luck and best wishes OP.

I left the UK and lived 10 years in a Mediterranean country. I returned to the UK 6 months pregnant, with a 1 year old in tow, fleeing an abusive relationship and it was the absolute best decision I ever made. I could access nhs treatment straight away, but a woman did interview me and tried to get me to sign a form saying a might return to former country. I didn't sign as I had no intention of going back. I had to wait 3 months before I could claim benefits and had to pass 3 different habitual residency tests. As I was homeless (family all dead) I was put in a B and B and eventually moved to a housing association property.

While on benefits I studied using adult leaner loans. As soon as my youngest went to nursery I started my own business (which then closed to Covid). I started another one later on which took off and I used the money from that to fund private training which led to an even better job. 6 years after arriving back in the UK I have a good job and no longer need benefits, eldest is thriving, youngest has asd but has been supported throughout his education and they are so many groups and organisations that offer help.

I say all this, because none of this would have been possible in the country I was living in. There are no benefits, no nursery hours, no adult education courses, and social housing doesn't exist. You have to rely on family but I had none. The UK is not perfect by any means but I am so so grateful for all the help my little family has received and the life I've been able to build here. It just wouldn't have been possible before. I try to do my best to give back by contributing to food banks, volunteering, and helping out people who are in the situation I was. Many of the posters on this thread will believe I should have just stayed in the previous country and starved but you do what is best for you and your family.

Come home op.

You have such a difficult road ahead otherwise, aging with health problems overseas is horrendous even with a healthy bank balance with no support network. Your dd will get to an age and will be too settled there to leave.
You have a golden opportunity now to start again in the UK.

It is beautiful here, all the seasons, the communities and so much help and support for everything under the sun and all encompassing.

I have never once regretted coming home. I appreciate everything we have here (especially the huge choice of food in the supermarkets!) and the charity work here that underpins life here in the UK - and people moan about the NHS, but I have only ever received outstanding care, so it is not everyone's experience.

Come home.