Tax free childcare inherently sexist!

[Preggers101]

AIBU or is the tax free childcare online government account system inherently sexist. Married with two kids, we're very grateful for the tax free childcare system. But the account can only be accessed by one parent which means I'm doing all the account admin. They've asked for extra information (wage slips) for my DH, but due to data protection issues it needs to be me who phones them up and spends 2 hours on hold to ask for a drop box link (apparently they can't deal with him because he's not the account owner due GDPR! This would all be solved if you could have two account owners!). I didn't realise it would be so much admin work! And the system doesn't let you share the load!

Why couldn’t your husband have done it all?

How is it sexist? You can pick the male or female partner to administer the account- you are the ones that have selected the female partner.

if only the female partner could access the account then that would be sexism.

It is stupid that both parents can't access it, though it could just as easily have been your DH who set up the account. I think it's like that because the tax system in general is set up to look at individuals rather than couples, and I do think there is an (unintended) sexist consequence of that because in many cases it will end up being the mum by default who does the childcare admin.

ETA that unintended structural sexism is still sexism.

As far as I know it doesn't say it has to be the mother that does it, so no, not inherently sexist, just a ridiculously complicated process designed with no thought to the user!

I do think there is an (unintended) sexist consequence of that because in many cases it will end up being the mum by default who does the childcare admin

that’s not the system that’s sexist though. It’s the users who think childcare is women’s business.

Good question! I didn't realise how much work it would be, and was happy to do it at first. Now that I realise it really is a lot of work, it's a pain that both of us can't access the account to share the load.

It's both, though, isn't it? Having systems that make childcare admin the role of one parent only doesn't really encourage a change in social attitudes.

Yes, unintended sexist consequence sort of sums it up I think.

Why can't he pretend to be you? As long as he answers all the questions they can't say he's voice isn't feminine enough.

I think that's fraud?

Either of you could have signed up for it.

In any case I often say I’m my DH when they need him on the phone for security reasons. Never been challenged.

It sounds like it's your marriage that's sexist, not the tax free childcare system.

It’s not sexiest because your husband could have done it? Who decided you were going to be in charge of it? My husband does ours and sorted out the funding code etc…

This is one of the little-known benefits of same-sex relationships. I pretend to be my wife on the phone all the time. Although now I think of it, it only benefits her, as I end up doing twice the life admin!

Can’t you just give him your log in details?

I pretend to be my husband, MIL, FIL all the time - no one has said you sound too young or feminine yet. Just makes life admin for these easier especially the elderly members of the family.

We both just have the log in and do the updates/top up funds, don't use it much anymore because after school club doesn't take it , only holiday club does